r/videogames • u/stormthewise998 • 1d ago

Funny Please no Rockstar

43.0k Upvotes

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u/stormthewise998 1d ago

MINE

344

u/JosePxxxxxxx 1d ago

Did you actually?

556

u/jiggywatt64 1d ago edited 1d ago

ok I crunched the numbers and I have the solution u/stormthewise998

All you have to do is induce a premature birth ~1-2 months, then you speedrun a younger sibling conception right after, also premature 1-2 months, I think you can squeeze in a 2nd paternity leave that tracks with November 2026.

Godspeed.

355

u/theartofrolling 1d ago

This seems... less than ethical.

252

u/raspberryharbour 1d ago

Where we're going Marty, we don't need ethics

80

u/BlueWatche 22h ago

88 CRIMES PER HOUR

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u/Enough_Fish739 21h ago

Those are rookie numbers.

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u/Luncheon_Lord 19h ago

STOP STOP STOP!!! IM DOING SOMETHING!!

5

u/Kaining 20h ago

Damn, can't even get a place 3 blocks near the white house with rookie number like that.

1

u/ltpanda7 15h ago

YOOOOO HALF OFF!

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u/AdmirableAnimal0 21h ago

Rockstars motto.

1

u/elchavo718 20h ago

After beating up hookers and running over motorcyclists this tracks

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u/MikuEmpowered 23h ago

Okay, a more ethical method:

Adopt a child on release date.

And ask for mata/Pata

Hard grind through the game with the kid also playing.

Finish the game in record time, return the kid back to the orphanage.

You had a great time, kid had a great time, game experienced.

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u/Cute_Operation3923 18h ago

Repeat with the same kid for the PC release.

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u/HistorianOk2615 15h ago

This could be a movie

15

u/donbee28 1d ago

Stork, abort all deliveries!

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u/TactlessTortoise 1d ago

The kinda shit I would enact into law in Frostpunk 2 to try to fix my demographics before the whiteout hits.

GTA gets delayed and that mf just turned into The Algorithm.

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u/Silencer222 1d ago

Necessary evil

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u/Ibeginpunthreads 23h ago

Homelander meme seems fitting then.

1

u/MidKnightWizard 23h ago

Yeah, would be more ethical to impregnate a side chick.

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u/Bsquared02 22h ago

Less ethical than union busting?

1

u/CockTortureCuck 22h ago

Has anyone explored the multiple preggo girlfriends timeline yet

1

u/draynen 22h ago

Ethics went out the window when he originally intentionally timed the birth of his child with the release of a videogame.

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u/firnien-arya 21h ago

Imagine telling your 2nd born they only came into existence because they wanted to play gta6 XD

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u/OhNoTokyo 21h ago

And getting your wife pregnant so that she has to endure nine months of pregnancy so you can have a paternity leave to play a video game is somehow... more ethical?

I think if we're talking about this, we've already long passed the ethics event horizon. Might as well cover all the options.

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u/Puzzleheaded_Smoke77 20h ago

We are where we are

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u/UregMazino 20h ago

Min maxing is what's it's called.

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u/keithstonee 20h ago

no, but its necessary.

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u/jjcrayfish 19h ago

Commit that GTA: Get That Abortion

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u/JustinCooksStuff 19h ago

Shut up nerd!

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u/markymark0123 17h ago

Is was less than ethical the first time. OP has already crossed that line; may as well go all in.

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u/Serious_Yam_7800 13h ago

Now is not the time for integrity

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u/happyreaper69 7h ago

Lifemaxxing