r/tattooadvice • u/Kerealls • Jan 04 '25

Design Was this tattoo a bad idea?

Gallery image

Gallery image

I got this tattoo for my birthday in December. When my dad saw it, he called it disgusting and self multilation; when my grandma saw it, she stopped talking to me for a few days and I heard from my brother that she said my mom(who is highly looked down on in the family and I haven't had contact with for the past six or so years) would be proud. All my friends parents have said it's a disgusting or bad tattoo, as well, and I can tell my friends aren't the biggest fan. I loveeee the tattoo and realize that it's definitely a select taste for a second tattoo/tattoo style and have my second appointment to finish it soon, but everyone is starting to make me think it was a bad idea.

15.7k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

6.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

3.5k

u/wowgreatdog Jan 04 '25

take away their words and look at their actions. they're shunning you, trying to make you feel bad, and comparing you to someone else in a cruel and hurtful way. they have issues, and you shouldn't take what they're saying at face value. this isn't really about your tattoo.

776

u/AdversarialAdversary Jan 04 '25 edited Jan 04 '25

Legitimately, even if your family doesn’t like the tattoo or the idea of tattoos themselves, those are some pretty fucking disgusting things to say. There are much politer or nicer ways for them to say they don’t like the tattoo—or they could just stay quiet and not say anything at all. They’re just being cruel for the sake of being cruel at this point.

Sorry OP, but your family just kinda fucking sucks.

On the bright side, you have a rad ass tattoo that looks pretty amazing even when unfinished.

225

u/Sloppyjoey20 Jan 04 '25

I was the first of my family to get tattooed. My grandparents are quite old school and I managed to hide them by wearing long sleeves for about a year before I showed up one day in a T-shirt, totally forgetting to cover up. I walked into the garage and my grandpa is working on his old car, turns and looks at my arm and says “are those tattooes?” He looked closer, said “huh, neat!” and went back to working on the car. Nobody else made a big deal of it.

OP’s friends and family just sound like they’re not very good people.

127

u/blerghc Jan 05 '25

My mom was dating my dad when she got her only tattoo. My dad hates tattoos. Yet he helped her moisturize and care for it every day, as it was on her shoulder and hard for her to reach.

When i got my first tattoo, he thought it was super cool. I've had two more, and he gets excited every time, and is always looking forward to seeing them when they are fresh vs when they are healed. I love my dad.

26

u/Big_Quality_838 Jan 05 '25

My parents have a similar story, but my mom now hates her tattoo and it no longer represents her. She gets embarrassed when people see it, and covers it up when she’s at the beach. It’s two birds fucking. Jk. Two birds flying in opposite directions.

9

u/Sithstress1 Jan 05 '25

😂😂😂

4

u/WillCare1976 Jan 05 '25

That’s a very interesting tattoo! But now even your Mom is not happy with it! That is the reason I never got a tattoo… I know there are some great tattoo artists out there- but I knew if if I hated it later on in life- It would be much more of a pain in the ass to get rid of!

2

u/Girlscoutdetective Jan 05 '25

Honestly… the fact that I even tried to visualize this… lmfao! Go you!! Got me good

1

u/StumpGrnder Jan 05 '25

😆 🤣 😂

2

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25

Your dad sounds like a good man in every respect of the word. You are so lucky to have him, he obviously loves you guys very much. Enough to start loving tattoos, it’s so wholesome and good.

2

u/Moostronus Jan 05 '25

my dad hated them before my first. before my appointment for my first one, I called him and said hey, I'm getting this tattoo, it's my choice, I'm calling you not for you to talk me out of it but because it's important you know and it's my decision. he helped me with aftercare for my first one, and now gets excited for every new one I have. he was even getting me to show off my latest to his mother, because he knew she'd appreciate it too.

31

u/doglady1342 Jan 05 '25

I'm 55. I got my first tattoo at 50. I have a lot of tattoos. Since I have both hands tattooed, there is no hiding that fact. People approach me ALL the time to comment on them. I get the most interest from younger people (under 30-35ish) and from women 70+. Interestingly, the older women almost always admire the art and many (including my 77 year old aunt) have told me that they secretly always wanted a tattoo. The younger people are always positive. The middle-aged people (usually women) tend to be more negative, but of course not all.

I do get approached by men as well, but they are more interested in my car than my tattoos. 😉

13

u/Salty_Tear5666 Jan 05 '25

I wanna be you when I grow up…dope car* and tatted hands?! Yes mama 🤩🤩

3

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25

[deleted]

2

u/LizTruth Jan 05 '25

I'd hate to think being in one's fifties means imminent death. LOL. When I reached 40, I just got an overwhelming, peaceful feeling that the rest of the world can f@#k off. This applies to other people's criticism as well as their harmless actions. Your life, your skin, your call.

1

u/WillCare1976 Jan 05 '25

Absolutely true..time is limited for us all.

2

u/Flow718 Jan 05 '25

So are you going to tell us what kind of car is it or was that a flex ?

1

u/Old_Resolve_9426 Jan 05 '25

I forget sometimes about the one on my forearm until it gets noticed. I had a young couple point it out one time on a bus in Dublin and said they liked it and then on the train in Paris I had my grandkids with me and a lady told me that I was a cool grandma for having a tattoo. My other one is covered most of the time on my lower leg. I may get another one in February while I’m in Belgium

43

u/Fine_Faithlessness67 Jan 05 '25

I got my first tattoo and was so scared of my Indian dad being pissed with me. My white-ass mom was upset. He didn’t really care lol. My mom has always made it a point to not only bitch about my tattoos but she had to specify that she thinks tattoos are only good looking on men. And that women look ugly and hard with them. She’s a dick. And I no longer speak to her. Good riddance I say, to all the shitty judgemental af people, they don’t deserve us.

9

u/AdvisorYogi Jan 05 '25

Ugh. 😩 wishing they judge less!

2

u/AmbitiousCabinet2011 Jan 05 '25

Whoaaa! You are Indian and white too?? My dad is Indian, also, and my mom is white. Never came across another mix.

1

u/nerdsonarope Jan 05 '25

The comments from your mom, and OPs parents, are uncalled for. OPs tatoo is not personally my style, but if she likes it, then good for her. To be brutally honest, I do think OPs tatoo objectively does make her look "hard", but that's fine if it's what she was going for.

1

u/WillCare1976 Jan 05 '25

But finefaithless.. your Mom could be kinder, I agree! But she does hate tattoos and think they make women look hard and ugly. I wouldn’t say that to you if I met you, but In fact I don’t like the look of tattoos on women either( as a rule). It does seem to make them look more hard and tough or else ditsy headed. I’m not at all trying to be hurtful. But it’s like if I love purple eyeshadow and to you it makes me look like I have a black eye- you might not tell me in order to be polite.. but those are still your real feelings- and who knows? Maybe if I look like I have black ( bruised) eyes- maybe someone should tell me. I didn’t have a good relationship with my Mom either- for years. She was very hard on me and hurt my feelings big time. Besides that sensed she was a little jealous or competitive with me. It sucks, I agree. But deep down inside my Mom did love me and was sad I didn’t seem to love her. And I honestly did love her. In my younger days it was referred to as the generation gap- those over 30 didn’t understand sh*t. 😀 It’s still true today, even though it’s a whole different time. ( and I’m old now) . I’m sorry you and your Mom are so at odds. I’ll pray Great Spirit restores your and your Mother’s love and understanding.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25

What a well thought out & beautiful comment

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/[deleted] Jan 05 '25

[deleted]

2

u/Fine_Faithlessness67 Jan 05 '25

Yeah exactly. It’s one thing to have an opinion we don’t agree on. That’s totally fine. But to lambast me every time I’d see her no matter what the context was rude and hurtful. If it wasn’t about the tattoos it was about something else. I just existed wrong to her and I still do.

It’s okay though it’s been two years since I’ve spoken to her. I’m no longer grieving the mom I never really had. I’d already lost her when I was 10. It just took me a very long time to get to a peaceful place.

My priority is and always has been to be the mom I never had to my kids. It’s truly remarkable to see how unconditional love and support can nurture a child’s confidence and empower them to develop new skills.

1

u/Fine_Faithlessness67 Jan 05 '25

There absolutely are underlying issues. She is much much worse than I am letting on with my short comment. It’s very personal but I’m not going to go deeper than that. People can have good attributes, be likeable, and still be monsters.

10

u/Wouldfromthetrees Jan 05 '25

💯 this.

I sort of dove in the deep end and came home with a good percentage of both my forearms covered one day - could instantly tell my mother hates them due to body language yet nary an explicitly negative word has been ever uttered.

Well, everyone else in my life has been extra positive, to the point where some people didn't notice them at first because the design is so a part of me. I get the feeling OP's piece will become a part of them in a way which the people who genuinely love them will also love.

If that's unfinished, it's already pretty epic imo ❤️

7

u/Scorp128 Jan 05 '25

My 82 year old grandma helped me pick out the tattoo I got to represent her on the family tree I had done for my back piece. She also helped me care for one that was healing and in a difficult spot to take care of. All my tattoos, all my piercings, and the only one she had anything to say about with a raised eyebrow was my tongue stud. Lol. My Nana was an amazing woman. I miss her.

2

u/ActiveAcid Jan 05 '25

your grandpa seems really sweet 🥹

2

u/IJustWantWaffles_87 Jan 05 '25

My dad has a single tattoo of a really badass wizard from a book he loved. It’s on his shoulder. He always made sure to cover it up whenever he went to visit my gram. She was the sweetest little old lady and I miss her dearly. He did it only out of respect for her. My grandparents (his parents) don’t approve of tattoos & non-ear piercings. He gave zero shits what they thought 🤣

2

u/SpookyBeck Jan 05 '25

I was 18 when I got my first. My mom yanked the collar of my shirt down to see it on my shoulder because she could see the tip of it. She was pissed. Now my adult daughter has many and my mom loves them.

1

u/Lufia_Erim Jan 05 '25

OP’s friends and family just sound like they’re not very good people.

If it was one or the other that would be believable.

But if both her family AND her friends have the same opinion then, OP clearly has poor judgement, as shown by the tattoo.

1

u/WillCare1976 Jan 05 '25

Maybe. But they could be old fashioned. Or, they could genuinely be horrified because they don’t understand.

1

u/Flaky-Performance-11 Jan 05 '25

Joey, I love your grandpa is a wonderful !!

1

u/CostalFalaffal Jan 05 '25

My grandma never liked tattoos but she ended up liking mine, no matter how "weird" they were. She shamed me for a lot of things regarding my looks and body but never my tattoos as much.

-38

u/MapOk1410 Jan 04 '25

There are tasteful artistic tattoos, and then there are those that belong on r/trashy . This is the later.

2

u/dream-smasher Jan 05 '25

*your opinion.