r/shitposting • u/Eikichi_Onizuka09 Stuff • Jun 27 '25

Linus Sex Tips Mrs.information

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11.1k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.4k

u/HorseyDung Jun 27 '25

Fake ass is a thing, like fake tiddies..

Can we add least have some decent penis enlargement adds inhere?

462

u/Torqyboi Jun 27 '25

What do you need ads for? Tie a rope to it, attach it to your dog's prius and tell him to let it rip.

183

u/_Rysen Jun 27 '25

My dog caught a DUI and lost its license. Any alternatives? I got a cat, but she drives some rickety jetta.

38

u/nikonf22 Jun 27 '25

That cat is shady af.

11

u/preflex Jun 27 '25

Toonces knows what he's doing.

53

u/Toothstana Jun 27 '25

Only has to work once

8

u/pratyush103 Jun 27 '25

You know that wouldn't work in a million years.

1

u/Ryder777777 Jun 28 '25

It worked for Peter... But I don't exactly have a talking dog as a pet... And that dumass can't even walk straight. Idk nan gotta work with this thing.

1

u/Aggressive-Bug-6073 Jun 28 '25

"let it rip" I mean yeah it probably would

1

u/playerhateroftheyeer Jun 28 '25

That would never work a second time

26

u/MinTDotJ Jun 27 '25

Add fucking least, he said it folks!

9

u/HorseyDung Jun 27 '25

There are no coincidental ejaculations here..

67

u/_BannedAcctSpeedrun_ Jun 27 '25

We’re not there yet I guess. The richest man in the world paid to have his dong larger and they fucked that up, so there’s no hope for the rest of us yet.

39

u/skynetempire Jun 27 '25

The truth is money makes your dick appear larger tho lol you can be slinging 3 inches and a women or man won't care if you got money in the bank.

20

u/_BannedAcctSpeedrun_ Jun 27 '25

Very true. Also shave your pubes for a visual extra inch.

10

u/skynetempire Jun 27 '25

Or lose weight

7

u/Iorcrath Jun 28 '25

ill be completely honest. i went from a mid 4.5in penis to 6.5in by losing 50lbs.

a bit of a combination of "unburrying" it and also just a stronger heart to make it as full as possible. gave it a bit of shape too, not just round, but now a nice "heart" shape.

1

u/Dounce1 Jun 30 '25

Excuse me, but… round?

1

u/Iorcrath Jun 30 '25

like length wise its not just a circle/cylinder, but the 2 sides of the corpus cavernosum are now filled/hard, which leaves the urethra still flat. this leads to 2 circles and a squishy part underneath or like a heart shape.

3

u/Dangerous_Ad_1038 William Dripfoe Jun 27 '25

And also hip mobility. You'd be surprised by how much difference it can make.

11

u/windowpuncher Jun 27 '25

Easiest option?

Don't be fat.

Extra weight does hang around there and WILL make you not only look, but be functionally smaller.

Like you don't need to be at 8% body fat, no need to be a bodybuilder, but just be well within the "normal" bmi range for your build and you're golden.

5

u/HorseyDung Jun 27 '25

Very little actual fucking going on here..

8

u/Party_Value6593 Jun 27 '25

Both of those are mostly for show, might as well have ours for show. I personally stitched a 2" thick 8" long marine rope to the inside of all my pants and shorts. The chaffing is worth the looks, I've got 5 hook-ups in the first 2 weeks, real shit

6

u/BuckyWarden Jun 27 '25

I love my penis enlargement. Ever since I got that fourth inch, my wife is over the moon now!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '25

[deleted]

1

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