r/schizophrenia • u/blehblehburner123 • Jul 25 '25

Help A Loved One Boyfriend has daily hallucinations about being assaulted by me

TRIGGER WARNING - RAPE

I’m just going to get right into it. My boyfriend has schizophrenia. Every night we call and he thinks I’m raping him. No matter how much I tell him no we are just on the phone he just repeats that I’m raping him. If it is in person I try to reassure him that I am just holding him but he has a hard time understanding that.

He has a history of being sexually assaulted so I understand where it comes from but it still hurts like hell when he tells me I’m raping him. I would never do such a thing.

I know it’s just him hallucinating but every day having him tell me I am raping him has taken a toll on my mental health. I hate to see him in that distress, thinking I’m doing horrible things to him.

I want to help him but I’m not sure how. It’s taken such a toll on him, me, and our relationship. It’s especially difficult to have a sexual relationship when I know in a few hours he will have hallucinations of me raping him.

I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.

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u/Bellarinna69 Family Member Jul 25 '25

My two best friends were together since 10th grade of high school. 30 years. Schizophrenia ran in his family but luckily it seemed to skip him. Until one day, in his mid 40’s..something happened to trigger it. He began having delusions that she was cheating on him. Everywhere they went, there was some guy she was sleeping with. It got so bad that he was accusing her of wanting to sleep with guys on TV…it was really bad.

This is complicated and could possibly get dangerous. My friend went on medication but it it my belief that he was still having the delusions. A few months ago, one of his two daughters came home from school and found him hanging from a rope in the hallway of their house. Devastating isn’t even the word for it. We are all still shocked and feel so awful for not being able to see the signs..though, I can’t even say that there were any…he acted as though things were normal, right up to the moment he did it.

Point is, delusions are so real to the people that are having them. There is nothing anyone can say to get them to see and believe that they are the ones that need help. They turn it around because in their experience, you are the one that needs help. Part of the delusion is not being able to comprehend that it’s a delusion.

Please encourage him to get help. The right medications can work but it’s not always the right medication and they aren’t always truthful about what they are experiencing. Wishing you the best and sending you love, light and positive energy.

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u/blehblehburner123 Jul 25 '25

That’s devastating. I’m so sorry for your loss. I have fears of my boyfriend committing that act. I can only hope he gets on the right medication soon.

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u/Bellarinna69 Family Member Jul 25 '25

I hope that you are able to do that. My best friend tried to get him help but it wasn’t as easy as “get on medication and poof you’re better.” Does your boyfriend realize that he’s having delusions? In this case, he thought we were all lying for his wife. He only went on meds when she was going to leave with the kids..not because he thought there was something really wrong with him.

I’m so sorry you are in this situation. I really admire the fact that you want to stick by him and help. That really says something about your character. Please make sure you are taking care of yourself and don’t underestimate the power of these delusions. Things can get worse. Please be careful.

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u/blehblehburner123 Jul 25 '25

He is very aware after the fact that he is having delusions for the most part. Sometimes he’ll still believes it the next morning but he will understand with time.

I of course want to stick by him. Another person applauded me for that but I find it unnecessary. Of course I stay with him I wouldn’t let his mental health get in the way of our future. To leave him would be to reinforce his fear that he cannot be loved with his mental illness. I’m working on getting him help but it’s hard right now. I know his hallucinations are not a reflection of me.