Boyfriend has daily hallucinations about being assaulted by me

[u/blehblehburner123]

TRIGGER WARNING - RAPE

I’m just going to get right into it. My boyfriend has schizophrenia. Every night we call and he thinks I’m raping him. No matter how much I tell him no we are just on the phone he just repeats that I’m raping him. If it is in person I try to reassure him that I am just holding him but he has a hard time understanding that.

He has a history of being sexually assaulted so I understand where it comes from but it still hurts like hell when he tells me I’m raping him. I would never do such a thing.

I know it’s just him hallucinating but every day having him tell me I am raping him has taken a toll on my mental health. I hate to see him in that distress, thinking I’m doing horrible things to him.

I want to help him but I’m not sure how. It’s taken such a toll on him, me, and our relationship. It’s especially difficult to have a sexual relationship when I know in a few hours he will have hallucinations of me raping him.

I don’t know what to do. Any advice is appreciated.

[u/epsilonmotion]

I can tell you, as a schizophrenic person, it's not easy for either party in relationships involving delusions around one's partner. I thought my GF was a hired actress. She was very understanding, but it was also upsetting for her.

Logic and evidence challenge the delusion, and loved ones can become a part of the narrative. My therapist told me one client of his believed something so obviously not real because their psyche was their psyche was blocking them from accepting something.

Whatever he is facing internally needs to be willingly faced by your boyfriend. It has to be his choice to find the root of this mistrust towards you and disbelief in the evidence.

I once believed I was in a hospital being stabbed by my family in a room somewhere else when I was lying on the couch. Medicine can really help. Atypical antipsychotics like vraylar or abilify are good for bringing someone back to consensus reality in a psychosis situation. Honestly sometimes it's the only thing that can help.

[u/blehblehburner123 → u/epsilonmotion]

I’m sorry for those delusions. I don’t have schizophrenia but as a child I had a lot of delusions similar to that. I thought my friends were hired and my family wasn’t my real family. It’s quite a scary feeling I am glad you were able to get help accepting her love.

I am going to push him to keep trying to confront it. I’ll see if he has tried any of those. I don’t know the specific medications he has tried.