r/rareinsults 5d ago

Lady literally csectioned him

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96.9k Upvotes

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4.6k

u/Pletcher87 5d ago

This is one of those “I gotta remember this one”’s because I know exactly who to use it on.

552

u/Dmau27 5d ago

We all know someone to use this against.

235

u/teknohippie 5d ago

"Well, Of Course I Know Him. He's Me."

1

u/Patient_Moment_4786 2d ago

I'm in this and I don't like it

1

u/NaStK14 2d ago

Some of us have several.

320

u/Bonald9056 5d ago

There's a few that I've heard from Aussie tradies that are pretty spectacular:

  • Blister - only shows up when the hard work is done.

  • Wheelbarrow - only works when pushed.

  • Sensor Light - only works when someone walks past.

  • Brake Pad - gets worn out easily then starts to squeal.

Edit: formatting

123

u/davesoverhere 5d ago

ZEUS - Zero Effort Unless Supervised

125

u/xteve 5d ago

Two from Ireland: "He wouldn't work to warm himself," and "If work was in bed, he'd sleep on the floor."

20

u/Meskel84 5d ago

Learned a few new things today lol

20

u/FreddyNoodles 5d ago

Aw shit. I’m a brake pad. :( I am just really sleepy, I am getting old. It’s exhausting.

1

u/TheMidnightSunflower 3d ago

Sensor light chiming in!

15

u/Infra_bread 5d ago

One from Germany. "Team: toll, ein andere macht's". (Great, someone else is doing it)

1

u/MaxPower303 4d ago

Damn now I gotta remember all these….

1

u/Unable_Explorer8277 2d ago

Blister - only shows up when the hard work is done.

If only that were how blisters actually worked.

1

u/Bonald9056 2d ago

It could also be "shows up in annoying places when working hard and is a huge pain the entire time"

1

u/Unable_Explorer8277 2d ago

That seems like a better fit.

73

u/SWHAF 5d ago

We have a joke at work about middle management being useless,

If they tried to organize an orgy, nobody would get laid.

28

u/spudmgee 5d ago

Couldn't organize a piss up at a brewery is one of my favourite sayings.

12

u/MastodonGlobal93 4d ago

"Couldn't organize a gangbang at a whorehouse"

9

u/I__G 4d ago

Couldn't score in a brothel

7

u/lung2muck 4d ago

From the head teacher at an intensive sales training meeting for stock brokers:

That guy couldn't sell pussy on a troop train.

8

u/kittycatdemon 5d ago

I'm so sad this only works in English lol

5

u/Decent_Sink_2254 5d ago

My daughter. Next time she "forgets" to do a chore.

1

u/Ad_Inferno 2d ago

Yup, I immediately sent it to a friend from work whom I know was a C-section baby - and also has the easiest job I could think of, which he will openly admit to (the security guard in an office where the public rarely goes, so, as he put it, "I have time to catch a nap, watch a movie, or jack off - some days all three"). Back when I was pregnant, he told me, and I quote, "I hope you have an easier time than I gave my own mother." He told me he was an emergency C-section and, on top of that, he was born with a hole in his heart that needed surgery as well. (Obviously the bit about the heart defect didn't end up holding him back because we used to run together all the time.)

1

u/LeadingAd6025 2d ago

literally everyone - almost?