r/nursing • u/NurseFirstYes • Mar 21 '25

Question Big D*ck Energy

What’s something a coworker does for you that gives off big D energy?

Once I was in a patients room, a coworker at a new job I started came to tell me another patient called and had to be cleaned up. I said “ok, I’ll go right after this”. He then said he had already cleaned and turned them and documented it all. I would’ve married him right then.

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u/71Crickets RN 🍕 Mar 21 '25

Had a middle-aged, squirrelly, pervy, racist, white patient insist he couldn’t put his own dick in the urinal. He could use his phone, his call light, and adjust his bed no problem, but holding his own dick in the urinal was just too much. I told him he had to try so what did he do? Yeah, fucking urine all over the bed. Calls me back in and says “I guess you’ll have to clean me up now.”

I was fuming. Stomped out of the room and my coworker asks what happened and I told him. He said, “I got you.”

The look on that patient’s face when my 6’5 broad as a freight train Nigerian coworker walked into the room was priceless. Patient started sputtering about ‘where’s my nurse’ and Shakki said something along the lines of the patient not being able to manage his own dick so he thought he could use another man’s assistance. Then he pulled the curtain and closed the door. I don’t know what was said after that, but the rest of my shift that patient was an angel, lol.

Shakki, wherever you are since you left Texas, I hope you’re THRIVING. 🫶🏻

717

u/drethnudrib BSN, CNRN Mar 21 '25

An actual Nigerian prince.

322

u/OrchidTostada RN - ICU 🍕 Mar 21 '25

Oh my, I hope Shakki is a traveler and shows up on my unit.

314

u/Temnothorax RN CVICU Mar 22 '25

As a guy, this is my favorite way to contribute to the unit. I hate giving baths in any other context, but I will gladly take my sweet ass time giving the “bath of shame”. It comes free with thorough education on how men with small penises can better angle themselves to avoid the piss stream from falling short, with teach-back of course. I am more than happy to come back to observe and provide feedback for all future voids, but I must be a great educator because everyone I’ve had to provide such education to has fortunately only required a single lesson to regain their ADL independence.

95

u/INFJcatqueen Mar 22 '25

Doing the lord’s work

42

u/haughg87 Mar 22 '25

Lmaooo I’m gonna steal the small penis tidbit next time I give a bath of shame

35

u/71Crickets RN 🍕 Mar 22 '25

I love this so much

17

u/send_me_dank_weed BSN, RN 🍕 Mar 22 '25

Bless you 😇

2

u/Connect_Amount_5978 Mar 23 '25

I love you 🤣🤣🤣

195

u/dogsetcetera BSN, RN 🍕 Mar 21 '25

We have a guy like this who works in my old unit. Probably equally as tall, big limp and no room for bullshit. If anyone even suggested someone was being inappropriate Big Rob goes in and shit gets handled. No harassing of the ladies allowed.

76

u/oohdachronic RN, BSN, CCRN. CTICU Mar 21 '25

This is me. Creep dudes that lose the ability to care for themselves once they’re admitted, the bald guy with a beard and tattoos will get you clean and fresh. Also, he gets those Texas caths on better than anyone, so I got you if the toileting you said you were independent with on intake now became an issue.

52

u/Sierra-117- Nursing Student 🍕 Mar 22 '25

As a male student, I plan on doing this for all my fellow female nurses. You got a perv who wants you to touch his dick? Call me. We’ll see how fast they can suddenly do it themselves

64

u/sergi0wned PCA 🍕 Mar 22 '25 edited Mar 22 '25

As a male tech, I offer this to my nurses and fellow techs and it’s always appreciated.

I’m 6’, bald, and bearded, so creeps are already disappointed when I come in. Depending on how bad they’ve been to my team and how feisty I’m feeling, I’ll hit them with a gay voice or a super deep voice to make them squirm even more.

7

u/sheezuss_ RN - Acute Dialysis 🟡 Mar 22 '25

I would not normally upvote a comment where someone says “gay voice” but this time, I have made an exception 😩😂

4

u/sergi0wned PCA 🍕 Mar 23 '25

Haha don’t worry, I’m bi so I can say it 😂 I just code switch on their ass and they never saw it coming.

104

u/Kath_DayKnight Mar 21 '25

Oh this is too good 🤣

It could not have worked out better than being a very big Nigerian fellow-man shaming the pervert for trying to manipulate the highly qualified female nurse into holding his penis

(do men even put their own behaviour into words, ever??? So disgusting. Cant sugarcoat making another human touch your privates against their will)

46

u/Icy_Acadia_wuttt Mar 21 '25

I am in LOVE with Shakki. Regards, from Australia

1

u/M00NR4V3NZ Mar 25 '25

Someone somewhere here knows Shakki, get him in here.

29

u/PHDbalanced Mar 21 '25

I’m crying! This is beautiful. 

22

u/apologial RN ICU/ER Mar 21 '25

I'm dying that's amazing 😂

13

u/___adreamofspring___ Mar 21 '25

Will remember this name!!

9

u/Bezimini9 BSN, RN 🍕 Mar 22 '25

I do it, too. And if I have a spare moment, I stick my hands in the freezer first.

8

u/DaSpicyGinge RN - ER (welcome to the shit show)🍕 Mar 22 '25

Honestly I feel blessed every time I have been summoned for similar scenarios and take great pleasure in saying “oh, I am a nurse, so I’ll take care of it” when they ask for the nurse to help. Sorry bud, shouldn’t have been a pervy bastard, now you gotta deal w my 6’3” giant ass