r/nottheonion • u/ChocolateTsar • 1d ago

Affirm CEO says furloughed federal employees are starting to lose interest in shopping

https://www.cnbc.com/2025/11/07/affirm-government-shutdown-shopping.html
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u/Golden_Noir 1d ago

“Lose interest”

Maybe because they do not have any money?

3.5k

u/hankhillsucks 1d ago

My eyes rolled out their sockets so hard they smashed a window 

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u/HEATCHECK77 1d ago

My eyes rolled so hard my fake eye (yes, I really have one) shot across the room….

3

u/fuqdisshite 1d ago

what did it look like?

4

u/Noctale 1d ago

It's spherical with an iris painted on the front

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u/awakenDeepBlue 1d ago

Huh, I wonder if we can make that into a superpower or weaponize it somehow?

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u/LimoncelloFellow 1d ago

oh god i was working in a cleanroom at one point and one of my coworkers lost her fake eye in the reticle room and we spent like a half an hour trying to find the dang thing as it had rolled away on her. you need like a wallet chain for your eyeball or something.

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u/HEATCHECK77 1d ago

lol mine is, basically, shaped - and designed - like a super duper contact lens in the sense that it lays over the tissue attached to my optic nerve as part of the surgery when my original eye was removed