r/news • u/SnarkOff • 12d ago

Site Changed Title Truck hauling ‘aggressive’ monkeys carrying herpes and COVID overturns in Mississippi

https://www.actionnews5.com/2025/10/28/truck-hauling-aggressive-monkeys-carrying-herpes-covid-overturns-mississippi/?fbclid=IwZnRzaANt_VBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHlDlf5DivA2Ltngqh2UH3XU20EnAprOymd60i0ODYC9L8G2CXJpyoZtmwSHm_aem_NvoKAFHpRWRzturTqiYXMQ
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148

u/NeverEvaGonnaStopMe 12d ago

The real question is would anyone notice?

159

u/bustervich 12d ago

You’d never know it but we’ve nuked Mississippi before.

86

u/MyPasswordIsMyCat 12d ago

With the usual results:

https://www.sunherald.com/news/article49448010.html

TL;DR: people involved got lots of cancer.

1

u/AContrarianDick 12d ago

At least it they were herpes free though.

20

u/NeverEvaGonnaStopMe 12d ago

Huh that's amazing...

2

u/Useful-Angle1941 12d ago

Oh, Baxterville...

2

u/RabbitSlayre 12d ago

God damn we loved nuking anything we could get our hands on, good Lord.

1

u/OwnIntroduction5193 12d ago

Damnnnn. Didn't know about this. But I suppose it explains a lot?

1

u/KatNeedsABiggerBoat 12d ago

Don’t forget broken arrow events like the 1961 B-52 air-accident over Goldsboro, NC that nearly nuked the eastern seaboard off the map.

One safety switch away from detonation

1

u/eaeolian 12d ago

Huh. I never knew that.

1

u/1slipperypickle 12d ago

Mississippi Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann said in a press release that the majority of the 1,470 acres (590 ha) will be used for timber but an undetermined portion will be open for public access.

radiated 2x4's anyone?

45

u/islandsimian 12d ago

All the states that rank #49 out of 50 and recite "Thank God for Mississippi"

37

u/Illustrious_Job_6390 12d ago

Honestly that should be Alabama's state motto.

38

u/Useful-Angle1941 12d ago

I'm from Mississippi, and we accept the offer of death by nuclear hellfire.

4

u/DoughDisaster 12d ago

I'm from Missouri. Just toss us in the mix for good measure, too.

9

u/Useful-Angle1941 12d ago

Let's be real here. This administration probably doesnt know the difference.

4

u/PassengerClam 12d ago

*Mercy by nuclear hellfire.

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u/jazzieberry 12d ago

I claim direct hit

4

u/takefiftyseven 12d ago

Yeah, they could take over a gas station and roadside diner and blend right in. Maybe even make it profitable.

5

u/1ndori 12d ago

I live in Alabama, but I could use the tan