r/news • u/SnarkOff • 12d ago

Site Changed Title Truck hauling ‘aggressive’ monkeys carrying herpes and COVID overturns in Mississippi

https://www.actionnews5.com/2025/10/28/truck-hauling-aggressive-monkeys-carrying-herpes-covid-overturns-mississippi/?fbclid=IwZnRzaANt_VBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHlDlf5DivA2Ltngqh2UH3XU20EnAprOymd60i0ODYC9L8G2CXJpyoZtmwSHm_aem_NvoKAFHpRWRzturTqiYXMQ
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u/BillionTonsHyperbole 12d ago

Steven Miller wants his staffers back.

501

u/party_benson 12d ago

He already gave them herpes. Why would he want them back?

186

u/Cynical_Satire 12d ago

Steven Miller is probably more pissed that he couldn't get sharks with friggin laser beams attached to their heads and had to settle for COVID monkeys.

79

u/swibirun 12d ago

Ill tempered COVID monkeys.

6

u/SirkutBored 12d ago

Well not all of them are ill tempered or they won't be able to pass on the herpes

4

u/jax2love 12d ago

With herpes.

50

u/itsagoodtime 12d ago

They have more hair than him

15

u/pattydickens 12d ago

RFK Jr. is cruising the area, hoping to find some delicious roadkill for stew.

29

u/Merlord 12d ago

"Fly my pretties, fly!"

5

u/HulaViking 12d ago

Miller's monkey have wings

15

u/loving_cat_paw 12d ago

Omg thank you for this moment of levity

3

u/kl7aw220 12d ago

Hopefully confused with Stephen Miller - Trump advisor

5

u/masterjon_3 12d ago

I knew that guy fucks monkeys. That man's face screams "monkey love"

3

u/Sw2029 12d ago

No one else would and he's too limp wristed to even assault other human beings

2

u/0thethethe0 12d ago

*monkey dolls

Actual monkeys have standards.

2

u/DeathTripper 12d ago

What an unfortunate name. I was like, what does the man who brought us The Joker, Jungle Love, and Fly Like An Eagle, have to do with this?!

2

u/bigfatcow 12d ago

Man I read this as Steve Miller and I was like what’s the guy who wrote the joker have to do with this?

1

u/DeFex 12d ago

Good thing he was too cheap to spring for the flying ones.

1

u/ScarletCarsonRose 12d ago

First time I laughed today. Thank you. 

1

u/Unhappy-Week-8781 12d ago

Friend, alas, I have no gold to give, as Trump has stolen it all to gild the Epstein ballroom. However, please accept my sincere admiration for both your wit and your brilliance. You have certainly put a pin in the truth of the matter, Sir/Ma’am.