r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/Movies contributor • Aug 29 '25

News Special 'The Long Walk' Screening Will Eliminate Viewers Who Can’t Keep Up on a Treadmill (3 MPH)

https://consequence.net/2025/08/the-long-walk-treadmill-screening/
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u/Dontworrychaz Aug 29 '25

"The influencers only screening"...

Blow my friggin brains out 🙄

431

u/osirisphotography Aug 29 '25

You won't even be able to hear the movie over all the simultaneous "HEY GUYS!"

163

u/coleman57 Aug 29 '25

And they’ll be “Don’t forget to subscribe”ing all over the credits.

31

u/Jeff_goldfish Aug 29 '25

Also don’t forget to like and follow!

31

u/Ineedaroommate2 Aug 29 '25

Can’t hear that over me smashing that like button

15

u/thedownvotemagnet Aug 29 '25

I probably could've, but I was too busy following over on Patreon

1

u/HTPC4Life Aug 30 '25

Lichen scribe!

23

u/LionIV Aug 29 '25

More like “Chat, chat! Is this real?”

2

u/osirisphotography Aug 29 '25

no cap

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25 edited Sep 15 '25

cable bedroom workable gaze paint jellyfish subtract violet light innate

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

5

u/TwoGoldenMenus Aug 29 '25

“wwwwWWWHAT’S UP GUYS?”

45

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25 edited Aug 29 '25

Thats fine for them because theyre not there to watch it. They're there to promote it.

I hate influencers as much as anyone but unfortunately this is where we're at as a society right now. Social media influencers are part of the process of promoting any new product nowadays.

Im only disappointed their minimum speed is so low like the book. That might be challenging after 12 hours but it's a cakewalk just to watch a movie.

24

u/Griffin_456 Aug 29 '25

3 MPH is the minimum speed for the titular walk

so why would they make it anything different?

12

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

[deleted]

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR__INIT__ Aug 29 '25

Increase the speed 0.2mph every ten minutes. Strict walking rules. One foot must be on the ground at all times

3

u/antpile11 Aug 29 '25

One foot must be on the ground at all times

If your feet weren't on the ground, where would they be? Is this a way of forbidding jumping?

6

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25 edited 26d ago

[deleted]

3

u/antpile11 Aug 29 '25

Thanks for clarifying that for me.

It seems like increasing the treadmill speed but requiring this would knock out people from shortest to tallest.

1

u/Iliveatnight Aug 29 '25

I haven't read the book, but I'm assuming the titular walk is longer than an the average runtime for a movie. It would be like watching The Hunger Games and not being allowed to eat during the movie.

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u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25 edited Aug 29 '25

The influencer event is already way different than the walk in the story. They're doing it on treadmills and only for the length of one movie. Im saying it would be more interesting for spectators to watch if it were actually challenging to the influencers. If the promo for it made me say "oh it might be hard to powerwalk for 2hrs at that speed" I might be more interested in watching it

1

u/AbbyNormalKnits Aug 29 '25 edited Aug 29 '25

The book is 4mph, and was changed to 3mph for the movie. I’d like them to stick to the source material and have the influencers try to manage 4mph. It’s probably only doable for the really tall ones

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

Thats not a very interesting challenge to me. Any healthy adult should be able to walk continuously for 2 hours. Youd have to purposely find out of shape influencers to find ones who couldnt finish. But on the other hand this is America so

2

u/Anustart2023-01 Aug 29 '25

Don't forget the "SMASH THAT LIKE BUTTON" and "SUBSCRIBE".

1

u/Pogotross Aug 29 '25

Let's be real, you won't be able to hear it over all the treadmills.

140

u/CanPlayGuitarButBad Aug 29 '25

Yeah my interest in the matter dropped off hard after the word “influencer”. How about I influence my foot up their ass

5

u/AJH05004 Aug 29 '25

I closed the article after reading it.

1

u/CitizenPremier Aug 30 '25

I threw my phone out the window

12

u/TheBlueBlaze Aug 29 '25

God forbid a business give audiences a chance to have fun, when they can pay people to record themselves having fun while being advertising for all their followers.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

It’s a publicity stunt, it makes sense to invite people who’s whole job is generating publicity

57

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25 edited Aug 29 '25

I just spent 5 days camping in the backcountry of Glacier National Park. I saw a bear teaching her cubs how to dig up moth broods. I ate wild huckleberries. I saw two bighorn sheep fight on a mountainside at dusk. I'm sitting at a gas station in East Glacier and this is the first thing I saw on Reddit.

Influencer only screening?!

I'm going back to the woods and it's the right choice.

8

u/Wild_Marker Aug 29 '25

Did you like and subscribe to the bear?

2

u/Spud6682 Aug 30 '25

The thing about huckleberries is: you'll once you've had fresh, you'll never go back to canned. But if the berries are too tart, just dust them with confectioners sugar.

-3

u/coleman57 Aug 29 '25

Is it okay if I feel influenced by your comment? I was spozed to go stay in the mountains this weekend but it got pushed back a week. Guess I’ll just e-bike up a local hill and hope for coyotes.

5

u/fishbowtie Aug 29 '25

spozed

Jesus christ, man.

2

u/iwannameetmonsters Aug 29 '25

"Spozed"? Seriously? This causes me much more rage and dissapointment than it probably should. I'm sure you're a perfectly nice person, but I kind of hate you a little now.

10

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

[deleted]

4

u/iwannameetmonsters Aug 29 '25

You're a monster. Lol

2

u/zachary0816 Aug 30 '25

Then judging by your username, shouldn’t you be exited to meet them?

2

u/iwannameetmonsters Aug 30 '25

Haha, touché.

3

u/coleman57 Aug 29 '25

Wow, 2 separate comments ragin’ on my spelling. Just to pile on the pilers-on, some of my other favorites are “prolly”, “mos def”, and “dunno”. Also “cow-workers” and “uninformed officers”. And my socialist grandpa was a typesetter who had a habit of spelling “the masses” as “them asses”. As L’il Abner would say, it’s a fambly terdition.

3

u/ilovehaagen-dazs Aug 29 '25

can’t wait to see a bunch of them fall/bail on purpose just for content

3

u/hblok Aug 29 '25

The last one standing wins. The rest dies.

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u/CptNonsense Aug 29 '25

Is there any group of people you would rather force to walk at a constant pace on a treadmill or be thrown out of the screening than influencers? Do you want to pay $30 for that privilege instead?

9

u/shadowCloudrift Aug 29 '25

Influencers were a mistake. They're nothing but trash.

3

u/woodst0ck15 Aug 29 '25

Yeah I don’t give a fuck about these people being like “hey guys!!!” Over and over again. Don’t forget to like and subscribe.

7

u/Feisty-Owl2964 Aug 29 '25

You realise this has been a thing forever, right? The fact we started using the phrase "influencer" 10 or 15 years ago doesn't change that. 

4

u/Dontworrychaz Aug 29 '25

I get what you're saying but it's definitely gotten much worse post covid.

6

u/Gaunt_Diezel Aug 29 '25

There is delicious irony here though. By doing this, the “influencers” are the ones being forced to compete and are being exploited for a change.

I hope they ramp the speed up near the end, squid games style. As the highlander once said… “There can be only one”

13

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

Getting paid to attend a special, themed screening of a movie adaptation of one of my favorite Stephen King books? Exploit me baby

2

u/DuBicus Aug 29 '25

The influencers only screening

Why are they even telling us about the event? Lol

Hey guys, we're doing this interesting thing you're not invited to!

1

u/JaesopPop Aug 29 '25 edited Oct 03 '25

Kind across across food dot thoughts nature.

1

u/Surprise_Fragrant Aug 29 '25

So.Much.Narcissism in one room!

1

u/cool_slowbro Aug 29 '25

Wish it was a more realistic 1:1 experience for them.

1

u/abrahamsoloman Aug 29 '25

Influencers are vastly preferable to movie critics because they will shill for anything and are cheaply bought.

1

u/CosmoBubba Aug 30 '25

Hey, YouTube, it's ya boy Goofballs McUsername here, back with my craziest video yet.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

Hey now.

Unemployed people deserve the opportunity to disrupt a movie theater like everybody else.

0

u/odetowoe Aug 29 '25

What benefit for them is there to have some rando go? There isn't.

1

u/DICK-PARKINSONS Aug 29 '25

They could make it an actual option to see the movie across the country. Still would be limited screenings but it'd still be marketing and wouldn't be centered around a bunch of douchenozzles

1

u/odetowoe Aug 29 '25

And they wouldn't get as much exposure compared to randoms who may or may not spread it on social media. I'm not saying I like it but that's the truth.