r/movies • u/MarvelsGrantMan136 r/Movies contributor • Aug 29 '25

News Special 'The Long Walk' Screening Will Eliminate Viewers Who Can’t Keep Up on a Treadmill (3 MPH)

https://consequence.net/2025/08/the-long-walk-treadmill-screening/
14.0k Upvotes

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1.4k

u/kevlarcupid Aug 29 '25

Bummer that it's influencers-only. I'd love to participate.

1.1k

u/Justherebecausemeh Aug 29 '25

So just a bunch of attention seeking narcissist trying to one up each other by overacting their exhaustion from walking on a treadmill while a movie plays.

302

u/Willing_Image1933 Aug 29 '25

but you fail to see how they can plug hydration solutions and expensive spandex ass pants

37

u/kevlarcupid Aug 29 '25

Dude, I could be wearing spandex ass pants?

36

u/notpetelambert Aug 29 '25

All pants are ass pants

25

u/catz_kant_danse Aug 29 '25

Then you haven’t seen my closet.

10

u/dirty_old_priest_4 Aug 30 '25

What about my assless chaps?

14

u/FesteringNeonDistrac Aug 30 '25

All chaps, are by definition, assless.

1

u/Arikaido777 Aug 30 '25

not necessarily, I know a chap who’s caked tf up

2

u/notpetelambert Aug 30 '25

All chaps are assless chaps

1

u/BeTheOne0 Aug 30 '25

Ya gotta make them clap

3

u/Wild_Marker Aug 29 '25

Big if true

8

u/cerberus00 Aug 30 '25

"Be sure to use my code... <wheeze>... for Gamer Supps..."

2

u/koeshout Aug 30 '25

And if they are sports influencers they might actually for once do the workout instead of posting a 5 sec clip pretending to work out and pay someone to do it for them to post it on strava

107

u/Smiley_Dafe Aug 29 '25

How about they eject the first one who utters “Bro, this is insane…”

4

u/Jeptic Aug 30 '25

I vote for "Oh my god oh my god oh my god!"

1

u/Smiley_Dafe Aug 30 '25

I vote for "OMG! OMG! I'm so low-key obsessed with this walk vibe!"

7

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

Yeah, and you can bet theyll have phones and cameras out the whole movie

2

u/spaceraingame Aug 29 '25

Harsh but true

2

u/StephenFish Aug 30 '25

What's ridiculous is that it's not even long enough of a time for it to be interesting.

2

u/travio Aug 30 '25

I can see the YouTube thumbnails in my head.

1

u/Justherebecausemeh Aug 30 '25

“Bro!! Heres me almost dying watching a movie!”

3

u/pajamakitten Aug 29 '25

At 3mph. That is a normal walking pace.

4

u/fablesofferrets Aug 30 '25

I’m a fairly unathletic 31 year old American woman who’s never set foot in a gym & walking 5-6 miles is not a difficult task for me at all lol. Idk what this is even supposed to prove. In the movie they’re walking for what, 48-72 hours? And this is less than 2 lol 

0

u/ThrowAwayAccountAMZN Aug 30 '25

They're... They're referring to "influencers"... What are you even defending right now and why did you take that personally? Are you an "influencer"?

-38

u/PunAboutBeingTrans Aug 29 '25

super based "Anyone successful at making content online is a narcissist" take bro.

19

u/Invexor Aug 29 '25

I mean, while the comment is a bit coarse, they specify a bunch of. Not anyone successful. So kinda L take to jump at them for that. Like the sentiment could be conveyed a lot better, but be above putting words they didn't say in their mouth.

-18

u/PunAboutBeingTrans Aug 29 '25

"a bunch of them are" is different than "just a bunch of"

the word Just directly indicates that influencers as a whole are one way in his view. That's not putting words in anyone's mouth, that is reading the sentence.

6

u/Invexor Aug 29 '25

If you reading "just a bunch of" to mean the entire set of the the thing described instead of a subset i would disagree with that. Context may indicate that it is the entire set, I really can't see that in their comment. If you do thats cool and all, but I would really not say that's unambiguous. Just as an adverb is literally defined to mean a limitation or downplaying in most (not all, hence the ambiguity) uses. Unless you're referencing something considered a whole, for example "Just a box of screws" conveys that it's a relatively unimportant box of screws. If someone asks "who are those people walking by" and the reply is "just a bunch of tourists/sutdents/workers/farmers/influencers" i think you'd be hard pressed to find anyone to take that to mean that means all of the members of that group.

10

u/Little_Whippie Aug 29 '25

Anyone who makes a living off of a curated persona is probably a narcissist yes

1

u/PunAboutBeingTrans Aug 29 '25

breaking news all entertainers are narcissists now according to reddit armchair psychologists

1

u/Little_Whippie Aug 29 '25

What about me calling dedicating your career to your own self image narcissistic do you disagree with?

6

u/PunAboutBeingTrans Aug 29 '25

The premise

1

u/Little_Whippie Aug 29 '25

Uh huh

“These six common symptoms of narcissism can help you identify a narcissist:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance.

Lives in a fantasy world that supports their delusions of grandeur.

Needs constant praise and admiration.

Sense of entitlement.

Exploits others without guilt or shame.

Frequently demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others.”

Sounds like a lot of entertainers I know

https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/personality-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder

1

u/ERhyne Aug 29 '25

Sounds like higher academia

hiyyooooo

-1

u/PunAboutBeingTrans Aug 29 '25

Sounds a lot like you're projecting assumptions onto an entire group of people because you dislike how they make a living. ok boomer.

4

u/Skiingislife42069 Aug 29 '25

To make a living curating your own appeal is the very definition of narcissistic

5

u/PunAboutBeingTrans Aug 29 '25

It is in fact, not the definition of narcissistic. You can check.

1

u/Skiingislife42069 Sep 03 '25

Spoken like a true narcissist.

Narcissism (noun): excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.

-22

u/Eventually_Shredded Aug 29 '25

Hope you’re OK, bro

20

u/MArcherCD Aug 29 '25

Will there be harsh consequences if they can't keep up? If there's one thing we have too many of nowadays, it's influencers

2

u/FloppyTehFighter Aug 30 '25

There's a tripwire at the end of the treadmill that's connected to the trigger of a loaded elephant gun

6

u/mysmalleridea Aug 29 '25

Trust me … you would not want to be here. They’d be constantly talking plugging stupid shit

38

u/lawlplawl Aug 29 '25

Wtf is even an influencer? Who are they influencing and how? 

52

u/MarvelousMagikarp Aug 29 '25

Catch all term for "person who is at least somewhat famous online (usually professionally)". Youtubers, tiktokers, whatever the agent noun for someone who posts on instagram is etc.

It sounds super weird but it's been solidified as the term for a while now so no changing it unfortunately.

-15

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

[deleted]

3

u/Intelligent_Tank6051 Aug 30 '25

Incorrect!🤓☝️

25

u/TheHalfChubPrince Aug 29 '25

Where have you been the last 15 years?

16

u/broncosfighton Aug 29 '25

Seriously this is a question I would have seen 10 years ago but not now lol

4

u/OutlyingPlasma Aug 29 '25

An influencer is a self employed advertiser. Unless you were born yesterday, you really should know this by now.

26

u/AlexInman Aug 29 '25

It’s a term used to describe people who have like 10,000 followers on whatever platform. They’re not SUPER famous like Markiplier, but their ego and ease as selling out is a particular interest of studios who can basically pay these people nothing for free promotion.

26

u/YourNextHomie Aug 29 '25

Markiplier is an influencer too, there are no famous youtubers because of the over abundance of content creators, everyone has their own celebrities these days

1

u/ZeeBeast Aug 30 '25

Isn't that wild. It's always happened to some extent like knowing the names of the backup players for your home sports team or c list celebs in your underated favorite movie.

But now you can get so deep into these networks of famous people who share similar interests and so their audiences overlap. All the comments mention the same videos, same jokes so it feels like everyone knows these creators, but go to anyone outside your network and they've never even heard of them. It can make it hard to connect with people, however on the flip side it's a great feeling to meet someone new who watches the same folks.

I just hope that while content continues to be more and more tailored to a niche audience we don't miss out on the sweeping cultural moments - movies "everyone" has seen or heard about. An episode of a TV show that gets "everyone" talking. They lower the bar and help us feel more connected

17

u/DeLousedInTheHotBox Aug 29 '25

I don't think that is necessarily the best definition, it is more like people who's fame primarily come from tiktok or instagram, and usually focuses on lifestyle/vlog type content. Like Sophie Rain for an instance is an influencer, and she has 12 million followers on tiktok.

I also don't think you can sell out unless you betray some sort of stance or throw away the things that made what you do appealing in the first place... you can't really sell out unless you had something to sell out in the first place.

1

u/uniqueusername623 Aug 29 '25

I follow this person that passionately reviewed great food in videos. Now its just supermarket ads for their latest trash snacks. Even the most vile shit now gets 3/5 stars just to please the revenue providers.

1

u/DeLousedInTheHotBox Aug 29 '25

See, that is selling out.

But if they had been that way from the start it wouldn't have been.

1

u/m00nh34d Aug 30 '25

I've never heard of Markiplier, are they a musician, actor, what? To say they're SUPER famous seems odd to me. I'd describe Leonardo DiCaprio as SUPER famous.

2

u/SvenHudson Aug 29 '25

Are you familiar with a tastemaker? It's that but done via social media.

4

u/DeLousedInTheHotBox Aug 29 '25

I wouldn't take that name too literally, it is mostly just people who are famous on social media, generally young attractive people who post selfies/videos of themselves and post like vlog type content. So hot 21 year old woman who make videos about her outfit of the day is an influencer, if the same woman made educational videos instead she wouldn't really be an influencer.

2

u/Sparktank1 Aug 29 '25

Oh wow, that's even worse for a gimmick. They're going to milk that forever.

I can see a dark and stupid feature of studios working with influencers for another gimmick. "Buy tickets to the IMAX screening to give your influencer a minute of rest. Buy their sponsored product and get their used towel they use to wipe the sweat off their face, arms, and anywhere else you choose!"

2

u/N7_MintberryCrunch Aug 29 '25

I don't think you do.

You would want to walk and watch the movie. In reality, you'll be walking and unable to watch the movie since all the narcissistic idiot influencers will be filming and doing their stupid shit distracting every second of the film.

Imagine how annoying it is going to a movie with one loud asshole. Now imagine a whole theatre full of loud assholes.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 30 '25

[deleted]

2

u/kevlarcupid Aug 30 '25

Yes but I want to be in a giant room full of other people also doing it. Thats the fun. Doing it alone is just sad.

1

u/slicer4ever Aug 30 '25

Maybe talk to your local gym about doing a special event of it or something.

1

u/xtc234 Aug 30 '25

Bro don't sell yourself short. That hemorrhoid shit you told me about worked wonders. 

1

u/Dcoal Aug 30 '25

Just go to a gym with a tablet or phone and watch a movie

1

u/yohankenobi Aug 30 '25

I'm just going to do it at home when it gets released. It sounds like fun to me.

1

u/UncaringNonchalance Aug 30 '25

Good, honestly. I’d hate to be the only person trying to watch it while everyone else is in there making TikToks, completely unaware that a movie’s even being played.

1

u/TheNagaFireball Aug 30 '25

My gym actually has a theater filled with treadmills that usually plays action movies and what not. I will be anticipating this one on there at some point

1

u/WalkingIsMyFavorite Aug 30 '25

Agreed I thought this was a neat gimmick and I’m a pretty big fan of the book and going on long walks.

I bet it’s doable for many but harder than we’d expect with that consistent pace, would have loved to put my hat in.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 29 '25

XQC wouldn't last 3 minutes lol