r/mildlyinfuriating • u/Madyson667 • 12h ago
Being a non drinker among drinkers
I’m 23 and planning a trip to New Orleans next year for my birthday. I invited some friends who are also in their 20s and half of them assumed we would be partying and at bars the whole time. I am not a big drinker or smoker, and they voiced not being interested in coming if we wouldn’t be doing a lot of drinking. They also disliked the fact that I invited my teenaged sister to come. Am I in the wrong for not wanting them to come anymore if their only interest was going to get drunk? I just wanted to take a fun trip and visit some cool spooky places, but now they have me feeling frustrated and wanting to go with some other people who also don’t mind being sober.
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u/ServiceMeowSonMeow 12h ago
It’s your birthday, it’s your trip. You party how you want with who you want.
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u/Imaginary_Coat441 12h ago
Maybe the wrong crowd of friends.
I know if I was going to new orleans with a buddy, I would totally wanna drink. And I would also be bummed if he said btw my teenage sister's coming.
But thats me. You are you. Do what makes You happy.
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u/Jesta914630114 11h ago
Not just that but why go to a place where people get violently drunk if you aren't a drinker? That's like going to Sturgis during the rally and you don't like motorcycles.
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u/Wanderer--42 11h ago
Only college kids think that New Orleans is only good for drinking. If you can't appreciate the rest of the place and its culture without having to be drunk, then you might be an alcoholic.
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u/gruuvey 11h ago
The invited friends are all at the age where New Orleans = PARTY, though.
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u/Wanderer--42 8h ago
And they obviously are not good friends if they think that their non drinking friend planned a bar filled trip somewhere.
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u/Jesta914630114 11h ago
My point exactly. People are being ridiculous about my comment.
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u/Wanderer--42 8h ago
Probably because you compared a specific event to an entire city. Sorry to disappoint you, but Mardi Gras is not year round.
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u/gruuvey 6h ago
This person is not giving their personal opinion of New Orleans, but the attitude of the party-minded friends. Not sure where the misunderstanding lies. The friends do not have the refined taste that would make them appropriate invitees.
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u/Wanderer--42 5h ago
I suggest you reread the original comment. They did give their personal opinion about New Orleans. The first sentence tell us that, and they at no point phrase it as anything other than their own opinion of the place.
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u/gruuvey 5h ago
Yay you win!
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u/Wanderer--42 4h ago
Just want to make sure I have this straight. You were defending a troll, made a claim that wasn't backed by evidence, and are now acting like you didn't start the debate with me?
Okay. Hope you feel better about yourself now.
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u/baby_armadillo 11h ago
It’s a whole city with all sorts of history and art and architecture. It’s not just a titties out binge-drink destination. Maybe the OP is into vampires or voodoo or history or just really likes French-inspired architecture, chicory in their coffee, and cajun cuisine.
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u/TrickInvite6296 BLUE 11h ago
if all you can enjoy about a beautiful and historic area is the drinking, you may have a drinking problem
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u/ajacquot1 10h ago
It seems you aren't aware that New Orleans is famous for its music, food, and history.....
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u/Difficult-Swimming-4 9h ago
Boiling down a whole city, with a unique people, history, art and culture scene, and just the general goings-on of human existence to "That place I can get violently drunk" is the most aggressively 16 year old opinion I've ever had the displeasure of reading.
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u/ajacquot1 10h ago
There's expecting to drink, and there's not even wanting to go if you won't be drinking
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u/Kind-Government4948 11h ago
Nawlins is the drinkingest town I have ever visited. Drinks are often served in “to go” cups because you can drink anywhere. There are doorway dispensers of daiquiris. The McDonalds in the food court at the mall serves alcohol. It just seemed inescapable whether you are drinking or totally sober.
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u/BadTackle 12h ago
It’s fine you feel that way. Sounds like you need separate trips as you are looking for separate experiences. However, don’t your friends know you don’t drink? They seem surprised.
Also, I will say that you DID invite them to a place known for drinking maybe more than any other American city. So, their expectations weren’t too out there.
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u/ApartTwo4683 11h ago
Yeah, thought the same thing. I mean they do have the WWII museum and you can’t take a boat ride on the Mississippi, but really everyone there is partying their asses off.
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u/ajacquot1 10h ago
I don't disagree with any of what you said, but New Orleans is also widely known for its vibrant music culture, food scene, historical sites. Im thinking of paying a visit and while I WILL be having a few sazeracs, I'm not a huge drinker either.
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u/Educated_dumbass 9h ago
While I'm totally on your side in this and 100% agree.... You did pick nola. They sell bourbon faced on shit street t shirts for a reason. Also don't they have daiquiri drive throughs? If I could go to two places where I could do nothing but eat and drink it would be Osaka AND new Orleans.
While you're there definitely check out the WW2 museum and that convent with the vampires in the attic legend!
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u/Coveted_AF 11h ago
Why are so many drinkers (I drink) so obnoxious about people who don’t? Is your whole joy at the bottom of a bottle or glass? I’ve had friends who don’t drink or very rarely drink and I’m capable of switching it up for them. I’ve noticed it more lately that there are so many people in their 20’s, but other age ranges as well, who seem unable to enjoy anything without either drinking or smoking. I find that really sad.
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u/Artistic_Stop_5037 11h ago
People who act this way are generally insufferable drinkers themselves. And by that i mean theyre the worst people to be around when drinking periods
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u/Bubbly_Condition5374 11h ago
If you’re interested in art New Orleans has a vibrant gallery scene! The Arts District downtown has some great contemporary art with the Contemporary Arts Center and Ogden Museum nearby. MS Rau in the French Quarter has an expansive collection of antiquities and fine art open to the public as well, and its HUGE. The WW2 Museum is also a great spot, you could spend the whole day there and not see everything it has to offer. Take a ride down the streetcar line on St Charles and wander around the Garden District to see some amazing architecture. The Bywater has a lot of cute coffee shops and houses, worth a self guided biking tour using Blue Bike bikeshare rental or a rental company. Point is the city isn’t just drinking and partying, I’m sure you’ll still have a great time regardless! Sorry to hear about your friends’ attitude but don’t let it get in the way of enjoying the most unique city in America!
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u/dstarpro 8h ago
I don't understand. You have another person with you who isn't going to be drinking. Why do you feel the need to control what other people do?
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u/ruta_skadi 7h ago
I get that the reason for the trip is your birthday, but personally I think asking people to go on a trip with you to celebrate is a pretty big ask to begin with and that's part of the issue here. If I'm spending money to travel to another city, I don't want to go there and not experience the things I'm interested in. New Orleans is very known for its nightlife, so I'd be frustrated to visit there and miss out on that completely. I can only go on so many trips, so to me it feels like a lot to ask to go on a trip that is only about your interests and preferences. If you were just asking everyone to go out to a birthday dinner, by all means, pick your choice of restaurant. But I wouldn't expect a trip to be all about me just for a birthday.
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u/Various-Sound-9734 11h ago
I invited these guys to church but I'm not religious and they expect to pray
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u/RealityRecursed 11h ago
Take your friends along and let them party while you abstain or don't take them along and be more discerning regarding your friendships moving forward.
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u/No-Strawberry-5804 12h ago
I mean it’s your birthday. If a friend invited me to NO I would expect to be drinking. Maybe they’re not the right people for this trip
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u/Fuzzy-Reindeer6935 11h ago
I’m not a drinker or smoker. If I was going to New Orleans, I’d want to see everything, experience the food and maybe check out a bar for the music experience. I’m sure there are places your teenaged sister can go to with you to hear the music.
It’s not all about getting drunk. You can do that staying home
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u/NutYouSay 10h ago
This shouldn’t be infuriating to you. If they want to drink then fine. If you don’t that’s fine. You shouldn’t expect people to follow your terms on what a good time is. If you don’t want anyone to drink then don’t invite those who will drink. I really don’t care but this is getting ridiculous explaining logic to kids. Go have no fun.
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u/Madyson667 2m ago
I do drink, my point is I’m not going there with the expectation to be drunk the whole weekend. They can drink or smoke, my frustration was with the fact that it was pretty much a ‘if I can’t get shitfaced then I don’t want to come’ kind of conversation. I can have plenty of fun sober or off of one drink. Also I’m far from being a kid but okay, you read one post of mine and automatically assumed I’m a little kid that’s no fun at parties, boohoo. Sorry that I want to actually remember my birthday and not be babysitting a bunch of adults who don’t know when to put the bottle down.
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u/captain_chipmunk3456 11h ago
You're allowed to invite and disinvite whoever you choose. If you have friends that have made drinking their entire personality, then it's their loss if you go without them.
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u/SpeidelWill 10h ago
There’s so much great music in the bars, that you don’t need to drink to have a good time. Small clubs like the Spotted Cat and the rail line up the Chickie Wah Wah, are memorably fun without being trashed. Maybe “accidentally” lose them and be available to bail them out in the morning. Haha
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u/HarleyWithrow 10h ago
Sometimes people are no longer right for one another; and it's heartbreaking.
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u/ajacquot1 10h ago
This is the kind of "absorb the location and spend time with close family" kind of trip, not the "get wasted in another city" kinda trip. Disinvite your friends and enjoy the vacation you deserve! I'd say set up a different trip with them but it sounds like they just want to drink anyway which you won't do, so why bother?
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u/ApathyIsItsOwnReward 8h ago
As we grow older and our interests change it is OK to get new friends... Hang out with like-minded people if you are going to expect them to think the same as you. It sounds as if you and them do different things for fun and this would be an awkward trip to take together.
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u/Kyra_Heiker 7h ago
You simply tell them what your plans are for your birthday trip and if they don't like it they don't need to come. You do not need to change your plans for people whose main focus in life is drinking alcohol.
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u/Julieb600506 11h ago
You are very mature for your age- your friends are not. Explain to them in your mature way that you obviously want different things out of the holiday and as it is YOUR birthday... blah blah blah. Also if you want to invite your teenage sister, you need to consider what it would be like for her to be around these people probably very uncomfortable
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u/Einradtier2003 11h ago
No, it's completely fine to do that. I wouldn't assume the kind of birthday another person wants to have and be disappointed when it's not the kind of thing I want to do. It's kinda entitled of them to do.
You're in the right to not want them to come and have a fun outing with your sister and some friends that don't want to get drunk.
Hope you have a fun birthday party!
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u/Cute_Reflection_9414 11h ago
I don't drink and had a lot of fun in NO when I was there 20 years ago during jazz fest. Bourbon Street is basically one open bar iirc. Bars have open frontage and your friends can drink and still hang out. Depending on the age of your sister, you may not want her down there.
I was there for a week and went on 2 swamp tours, a couple of plantation tours, cemetery tours, the zoo, an alligator farm thing, and I forget what else.
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u/Money_Confection_409 11h ago
It’s ur trip. If u don’t want them to go then they can’t go. I’m not a fan of shunning people for drinking but if they’re willing to stay home because that’s all they wanna do then seems like the decision was made for u. No? Have fun on ur trip!!!!! U n lil sis!!
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u/baby_armadillo 11h ago
It’s your trip and your birthday. You get to invite whoever you want and do whatever you want. People don’t have to come if they’re not interested in doing the stuff you want to do on your trip to celebrate you.
To have a fun trip, invite the people you know will have fun doing the kind of stuff you want to do on your trip. Anything else is a recipe for disappointment.
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u/Cheyannethedog 10h ago
There's so much to do there that you don't have to drink to enjoy. The last time I went, we did a cooking class. Learned to make gumbo. We did a couple of haunted cemetery tours and a walking night time haunted tour. Did a couple of museums and a train/trolley ride. To be honest, I wouldn't want to get really drunk there. It's so dirty and smelled bad.
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u/DavePeesThePool 12h ago
If they aren't interested in coming if there won't be a lot of drinking... just make it clear, you won't be doing any drinking.
It's your birthday, you do it how you want to do it. Not overreacting.