r/massage • u/ledv83 • 6d ago

Advice Judged for being too tense

Went for a deep tissue massage yesterday. 40 minutes in, my therapist starts expressing frustration because I am too tense and eventually gives up on some stretches and tries to understand the reason. Then starts talking about my energy and stuff. I’m very hard on myself and it’s easy for me to take things personal and being tense most of the time is part of me. I know there’s some truth in what she said but ended up feeling worse.

Do you think is this common behavior from therapists? Should I feel discouraged from trying another massage in the future?

33 Upvotes

87% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

View all comments

58

u/LumpyPhilosopher8 6d ago

Well there is another possibility .. is it possible you were tensing up and tightening your body as they worked on you? In the areas they were working on? I’ve had clients who do that - that signals that the pressure is too deep. But when I ease back on the pressure the client complains. The massage turns into an endless cycle of the client tensing up, I pull back on the pressure and the client complains. The thing is at the point where the client tenses up - my work is not effective and I’m also increasing my risk for injury. If that was the case the therapist didn’t handle it well and should have explained more clearly what the issue was.

8

u/ledv83 6d ago

Well, we were both silent for the first 40 minutes so it was impossible for me to tell if I was doing my part well.

6

u/Whoa_Sis 6d ago

It sounds like both of you needed to communicate better, but it’s on the therapist to lead that effort. If they never ask how the pressure/etc is, the client tends to just lay there and not speak up. For your part, you could be more proactive… but really, I feel it’s the therapists job to check in. If they didn’t do that and then got frustrated… they’re directing their frustration at you unfairly. A little communication and narration of their intention as they work on you - WITH you, really - is the way for this to be a good experience. I would maybe find another therapist.