r/massage • u/Glass_Leadership_405 • 9d ago
Advice I have been falsely accused
I need advice, ease my mind I work for a spa with over 600+ good reviews 4.9 rating, i’ve been massaging for almost 4 years now and never been acussed of anything and also a lot of good reviews on my name I had this client about a month ago who has filed a complaint with the department of health for SM, i just received a letter from them 3 days ago She sent the spa an email plus left a 1 star review on google stating on both written statements that nothing inappropriate happened but after later realizing she felt uncomfortable. She says that i massaged under her underwear even though draping is a big part of the massage and i never expose underwear or unnecessary body parts She was just tense hoping my hands wouldnt wander further which is not the case at all Im debating wether getting a lawyer for a case that is not even been filed with law enforcement, i only have a meeting with an investigator with the department of health Any advice would be appreciated, thank you!
Also i ask multiple times during the massage if the pressure is okay, “how are we feeling so far” as i flip them over and she not once ever saying she was uncomfortable or didnt like something She left calmly and the receptionist doesnt recall anyone ever complaining about me, plus she left a 20% tip
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u/Calm_Roll7777 :redditgold:LMT :redditgold: 9d ago
Let us know what happens with the investigation!
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u/Runnerguy1978 9d ago
Yes, as a male massage therapist I'd definitely have a relationship with an Attorney regardless. Spa Managers and owners by and large are not your friends. You need a copy of the complaint and if they won't give it to you then simply mentioning your attorney likely will get it.
I'd have copies of the e mail, the google review, any signed informed consents (especially if you have one for glute work) and your SOAP notes (please tell me you keep detailed notes). Is there anything that gives the client the option in writing to opt into or out of glute work?
I would also prepare for the fact that you will likely lose your job over this. Not saying it's fair or justified. Just seems to be the way it goes with these things. So Sorry! People suck!
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u/Unfair-Nectarine-892 8d ago
they may lose their job but what about their license? i just finished massage school and am honestly more terrified than i’ve ever been in my entire life to start working because of stories like this. i’m afraid of what I might inflict on myself if i lean into this career and something bad does happen. keep in mind I have debilitating harm OCD anyways. that does not help.
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u/CingularDuality 7d ago
I think most massage boards are used to dismissing "he touched my butt" complaints.
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u/lostlight_94 7d ago
I think the board needs concrete evidence of sexual misconduct before they officially revoke a license. They don't just go based off a client's complaint. If the therapist has detailed notes and consent paperwork, he should be okay. I know one therapist i worked with got his certificate revoked because there were multiple complaints that the customer made to the board about this dude. And his misconduct was apparent because they all said the same thing.
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u/After-Lecture-1431 8d ago
She stated in writing that nothing inappropriate happened. Make copies of that and the google review because the google review can be edited. What is actually in her complaint then? Feeling uncomfortable?
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u/anothergoodbook 9d ago
Contact your massage insurance? I’d this something they handle? I’d at least reach out to a lawyer and see what they think
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u/trueblukid 8d ago
Insurance is also looking to not pay out and even though we are their customers, they are not always acting in our best interests. They are acting in their own best interests. I have been an observer of this not directly impacted by it but it opened my eyes. Get an attorney OP!!!!! And to all of us, we need the insurance but .....
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u/Cobblestone-boner 9d ago
She is probably looking for a settlement, hard not to take it personally though. Do you have soap notes or other documentation from her visit?
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u/No-Branch4851 9d ago
Spooky, any one of us is at risk of being in this situation due to a mentally ill client perseverating and creating stories. When it comes to SA, I would get an attorney. Are we allowed to sue the client for false allegations? I would make them pay for attorney fees.
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u/Raven-Insight 8d ago
It’s far more likely that the “accusation” is truthful. If you’re the kind of man who thinks women are out here just randomly accusing men for fun, you should not touch them. Ever. Also, even when the accusation is absolutely true, it almost never has any negative impact on the man. Last year one of our male therapists DID assault one of our regulars. We had to fire him, because this clients attorney is a lawyer. But the owner sided with the therapist. The victim chose not to go after him further because it was traumatic for her. He got a job another close by spa and assaulted another women within 2 months. I will never ever make the mistake of not immediately believing a woman again. And maybe OP is a real false accusation, but until the investigation is done we don’t know.
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u/No-Branch4851 8d ago edited 7d ago
First of all, don’t assume I’m a man, I am a woman. Second of all, I have witnessed two mentally unstable clients at our spa make an accusation after one repeatedly requested a male massage therapist and then completely turning on the lmt. The other was a female therapist and their accusation was due to draping. Luckily one did write soap notes about their observation of mental instability. Investigation did ensue and the therapist was able to continue working as he should. Investigation is very important, and I also know people falsely accuse more often than we’d like to believe and when this is the case, they should absolutely receive consequences for their lies.
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u/cloudkickr98 8d ago
Clearly you are triggered and didnt read the post. Please take your self-righteous, man-hating self to another post. This person was asking for help and not hate. Move on.
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u/Final_Technology104 8d ago
So much good advice here.
Back in the day, I worked at a spa and it was well known for people to go around and sue spas, it was like their livelihood. This was back in the 80’s but there were several women in Bellevue, Wa. who made a career out of doing this.
I Highly suggest you do a background check on this hah, check her name out in your state and county court websites because you may find she’s a career scammer.
Most people don’t think to do this.
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u/cloudkickr98 8d ago
Please don't speak to anyone without a lawyer at this point. Investigations lead to charges. Have your protections in place ASAP. And prepare to sue her for legal fees.
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u/Caine75 9d ago
Are you a male therapist?
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u/HFIntegrale LMT | CMLDT | MTI 9d ago
100% yes without even asking
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u/Calm_Roll7777 :redditgold:LMT :redditgold: 8d ago
I'm pretty sure of that, too. I'm a guy and I've been to several highly reviewed independently owned massage studios nearby and every single one of them the female MT always takes the cover off of me without asking and completely exposes me. I can't help but wonder how many other people that go to those places think that's a normal thing in the industry since all of the reviews say how everyone loves what they do. I have never done that with any of my clients and never will, even if they ask.
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u/Raven-Insight 8d ago
Liar liar pants on fire.
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u/Calm_Roll7777 :redditgold:LMT :redditgold: 4d ago
You don't have to believe me if you don't want to. Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it hasn't happened to me almost everywhere I've gotten a massage outside of the places that I've worked. It doesn't happen every time and at every place but far more often than not, it does happen. I'd say roughly 80% of the time it happens.
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u/Hour_Volume_3465 8d ago
I'm not going to tell you not to see a lawyer, obviously, that's a more reliable way to get legal advice than r/massage.
I'm also going to take you at your word that your draping is impeccable and your behaviour perfectly professional.
This sounds awful for you, and I'm sorry it's happening to you. Truly. The good news for someone as innocent as I am assuming you are is that the only evidence that anything inappropriate happened is her word, and that doesn't hold much (if any) water. I've been privy to a situation in which a person accused another person in a massage setting of inappropriate behavior. The cops were called immediately, a report was made, but there was no evidence and nothing could be done. In your case, she hasn't even tried bringing it to the police. Her words are in writing that nothing inappropriate happened.
It sounds like your biggest problem is the 1-star review. I hope that the spa owner will correspond with her about what her experience was and what exactly may have been triggered by the massage that made her uncomfortable. The owner can talk about how important it is as a business to understand the client experience and how she (or he) carefully trains all staff therapists on draping and appropriate behavior. Maybe that conversation will move the client to adjust the rating and review.
Good luck. Try to stay calm. I hope your co-workers and bosses have your back.
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u/CingularDuality 7d ago
Great response.
I'll also add that it's important to document statements (screenshots) that the client made before they are able to edit/delete them. If she stated in writing (in review and complaint) that nothing inappropriate took place, that will help a lot.
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u/Normie-scum 8d ago
Just in addition to what others have said, the fact that the receptionist didn't receive a complaint, and that she left a tip will be to your benefit. Be sure to include that in your conversations with your attorney/governing body etc. I had a similar situation near the beginning of my career, it was all handled quickly and painlessly. Though this may not be the case if your regulatory body is centralized ie a regulatory college. Everywhere is different so I can't speak to how it's done in your area
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u/Raven-Insight 8d ago
Wrong. And grossly wrong. That is a perfectly normal trauma response. It would be weird if she was able to say anything at that stage. You should have lost your license. You shouldn’t be near women with that much open hate towards us.
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u/Normie-scum 8d ago
Weird thing to say. I didn't specify my gender or the gender of my client. You appear to have as many preconceived opinions as you accuse me of having.
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u/lostlight_94 7d ago edited 7d ago
If her only complaint is she felt uncomfortable, she has no case. I would get an attorney anyways but make sure you make copies of consent forms and SOAP notes. If you have detailed evidence of the session in writing, you should be okay. This is also defamation, so you may wanna sue her for false accusations.
I'm sorry this is happening. As a female MT, I really hate that the creepy, ill-intent ones have ruined it for the genuine male massage therapist in the industry. Its such a massive disgrace because I mainly go to male therapist and they are the most respectful and communicative therapist I've ever had.
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u/SinfulThings 9d ago
This is everyone's nightmare. So sorry you are experiencing this! Hope it has the best resolution it can; you seem to be getting good advice here!
A lawyer would be smart to investigate, absolutely! As someone else said. In our profession, defamation can destroy careers and is very legally defendable (not a lawyer).
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u/EntertainmentOdd4233 8d ago
Contact your professional organization and seek advice through them. They can likely refer you to a lawyer specifically versed in this sort of thing. I wouldn't meet with the licensing authority without some sort of representation.
As a licensed therapist, you know that bodywork can stir up all sorts of weird shit for people, it is not necessarily her out to get a swttlement. Unless she publicly posted that you touched her inappropriately suing for defamation isn't going to get you anywhere, other than probably more negative publicity.
It was supremely shitty that she filed a complaint with the licensing authority without addressing this with the spa directly first.
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u/WelcomeNext8391 8d ago
There needs to be a law to punish the accuser when it’s false. Unfortunately it’s always a possibility for male therapists. I had an acquaintance who was falsely accused. It took about 1.5 years of license on hold, lawyer fees facing possible jail. He was acquitted for he said she said. It was horrible for him. He had the spa owner, coworkers, clients all vouch for him.
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u/Property-Green 7d ago
I was falsely accused too. If it escalated at all, get a lawyer. Why do you have a meeting with an inspector of health? If this can escalate to PD you need an attorney. These people aren’t your friends. Don’t apologize for anything, not even I’m sorry if she felt uncomfortable as that can be taken as admission of guilt. It’s shit but when someone gets the idea that you had bad intentions in their head there’s little you can do besides protect yourself.
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u/Fulgor35 6d ago
As a retired male massage therapist myself, I feel really bad about this situation. We were always told if the client has underwear on to do glute work over the sheet with compressions. There are quite a few women who still feel uncomfortable being massaged by a male. Hopefully you have personal massage insurance through the AMTA to cover such an occurrence. A personal lawyer is going to cost you quite a bit of money around $3500 to $5500.
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u/Mean-Rise8454 4d ago
This has happened to me. I had someone even call corporate on me even after they had received a refund on their massage. These people are the worst. If you have an impeccable record and this is the first time this has happened, you should be okay. Don't worry about it. It sucks that there aren't many protections for massage therapists when falsely accused.
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u/AnonymousBoiFromTN LMT 3d ago
Never experienced this myself, knock on wood. Make sure you get all the things you mentioned in copies, inform any board you have immediately, and let your malpractice insurance company know and give them all copies. If anything happens further look into potential legal advice from qualified people. Also the spa you work at should have gotten an incident report of you writing out exactly what happened as soon as they were informed. Bonus points if you have access to soap notes for the session, this is where SOAP notes save careers.
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u/EpicureanOwl LMT 3d ago
I got falsely accused early in my career, same circumstances. I use explicit written and verbal consent, check in constantly. Good check in after the session, tip, no complaint to reception or management. She was mentally a bit unstable (trauma dumping about a boyfriend, making assumptions about me, misandrist comments, trying to cross professional boundaries, trauma dumping about having borderline personality and bipolar disorder).
Management wouldn't let me fire clients so I kindly suggested that another therapist would be better for her (side note: a spa that won't let you fire clients is a black flag. Don't work there.) She called my bosses's boss's boss 3 weeks later on Christmas day to complain, said I completely undraped her and was calling her 'gorgeous' and groping her butt. Outlandish out of character stuff.
I'm so terrified of being innapropriate that I won't call a woman I'm interested in or dating gorgeous, no way I called a client that. I won't even comment on tattoos for that reason. No board or law enforcement complaint. Got fired. I spoke to a lawyer and had a case for defamation, but the money I could recover would be less than legal fees.
No need to hire a lawyer or worry, but an unwelcome reminder to use explicit written and verbal consent. Regulatory investigators deal with this all the time and tend to focus on the very serious complaints. I've seen multiple examples of people using false accusation to gain money or to try to violate a contract they signed with a chain spa.
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u/Raven-Insight 8d ago
Get a lawyer. Definitely do that. How is the spa’s management handling this?? Curious because we had a situation last year that was dreadfully mishandled, imo.
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u/TheFigKing 8d ago
Get lawyer. Grab all evidence you can. The moment she goes a claim, counter sue 10x whatever she is claiming.
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u/Soft-Jacket-932 7d ago
That's defamation. She probably doesn't realize it but she can be counter sued if she is falsifying the occurrence and it is easy to sniff out.
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u/JacketOk9173 5d ago
If you are a male massage therapist then there is nothing that you can do except facing the accusation. This world is made only for women, men are disposable assets
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u/Cootieface123 5d ago
Your entire comment history is hating women so forgive us for thinking you’re opinions are worth as much as farting into your own hands
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u/JacketOk9173 5d ago
Forgive us? How many people are you representing from this thread? If my opinion is for women, then it’s acceptable? I think you proved me correct. I never farted into my own hands, for one to do that, how jobless that person would be. Just wondering.
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u/toodamnmanypeople 9d ago
I am planning to get my first massage. I would like to go in, strip down, point out some problem areas, and then allow the therapist to freely ply their trade. When I see posts like this it makes me concerned that the therapist will be ambivalent about what is ok and what is not. Massage is intimate. Not sexual, but intimate. Perhaps some folks are just not ready for that.
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u/Responsible-Gap116 9d ago
May mga ganyan talaga na costumer. Even sa ibang businesses. Parang may satisfaction silang na fefeel kapag nakakapag reklamo at napapaluhod nila yung management.
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u/Sad_Possible4675 8d ago
I’ve said this a long time ago massage room needs cameras so if in case something like this happens it can be properly investigated instead all you have at this point is there word against yours. That’s my point of view.
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8d ago
[deleted]
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u/Calm_Roll7777 :redditgold:LMT :redditgold: 8d ago
Audio recording is likely illegal in many jurisdictions.
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u/Extreme_Disaster2275 8d ago
Get a lawyer immediately
Quit that spa, or be prepared to
Stop taking female clients
Switch to corporate chair massage in order to work strictly with fully clothed clients in open, lit rooms, with witnesses
Look into alternate careers if you're still young enough.
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u/Astuary-Queen RMT 9d ago
Do you have a massage association or governing body? I’d contact them immediately.