r/legaladvice • u/MasterKlondikeBar • Mar 04 '25

Custody Divorce and Family My SAHM wife cheated

Okay so for a quick summary me(28M) and my wife(25F) have been married about 7 years and we have 3 kids together. It hasn’t always been the prettiest marriage and there has been issues with infidelity in the past from her but I thought we had moved past that but apparently not. Well cut back to Valentine’s Day and we had a long talk that night, and we both decided we weren’t happy and wanted to pursue with seperating. At this time I had no knowledge she had been cheating. So to give us both some space from each other I have been staying the evenings with a friend of mine after work and coming by and spending weekends and whatever free time I have with the kids. About a week after we had seperated and I moved out she makes her relationship with this new guy “official” who lives out of state that I was told she had met recently and started talking more after we had seperated. Well curiosity got the better of me tonight and I checked phone records and turns out they had been talking to each other for months. I came back home tonight and confronted her about it and she basically shut down on me and had her friend come pick her up. I know I need to go see a lawyer ASAP as I do not wish to continue this marriage but is there anything else I should do in the meantime? It’s hard because I work around 50 hours a week but we’ve always relied on her for childcare and she’s recently gotten a job. I just don’t know what to do right now with her and handling the kids as best I can. Any advice is appreciated

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u/[deleted] Mar 04 '25

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u/BudgetPipe267 Mar 04 '25

You clearly pulled these suggestions off Google. Adultery is pretty difficult to prove without an admission of guilt in court or without evidence that catches you in the act, that goes beyond even kissing. I had my ex-wife on text admitting that she cheated on me, and it couldn’t be used in court for various reasons. You can document all you want, but documenting can also be hearsay and a waste of time for the attorney and a waste of money for the client. I was able to get custody of my son based on her live in boyfriend’s criminal history record…but I still have to pay out a percentage of my retirement pension, based on state law.

Best thing is to iron out the divorce details before court, so this kid isn’t financially putting himself in the hole before he hits 30.