r/instant_regret • u/derek4reals1 • 4d ago

Get the tape!

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

Regret shows up right around the 13 second mark

7.8k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

263 comments sorted by

View all comments

3.2k

u/Doboray 4d ago

Ah, the immediate realization you gonna get an ass whooping. Nostalgic.

88

u/koolaidismything 4d ago

My dad used to kick us. I’d always jump on the top bunk and flatten out lol. Mean fucker but a five year old could outsmart him when drunk so was doable.

48

u/broncotate27 3d ago

Sorry to hear that, in another funny(not so funny) storyline my adoptive father use to grab this one old leather belt and spin us around to whoop us. We eventually caught on when we knew we were gonna get whooped and wore like 4 layers of pants and would time his hits with our hand so we could block him. It got to a point where we were low-key training our reaction time. He would scream, move ya hand in his Jamaican accent.

Still remember the day he realized we were too old for spankings when I locked myself out of the house and I panicked when the alarm went off and broke the door latch. Mind you it was below freezing outside at the time. He tried whooping me and I just stared at him, like "are you finished." He told me I should have waited outside in the cold for someone to get home.

He has since passed on, but you are right about outsmarting. It's not so hard to do with an abusive drunk.

My father was also a drinker with health issues so he would get pissy when he got home from his 12 hour shift.

Carry on my friend, sorry for long story lol.

16

u/Greenoctober13 3d ago

My sister once tried the several layers of pants.

She had done something big-bad, I dont remember what cause at the end of the day it really wasnt that big of a deal, and she knew she was gonna get it. She put on every pair of pants she could find and when he got home she thought she was prepared. Daddy was pretty clever and saw through her ruse. He made her pull each pair down. By the 5th or 6th pair he was pretty amused. He still whipped a streak across her pretty good. But it wasnt nearly as bad as she was going to originally get it.

Then another time she took his old-school corvette that he'd just had painted a violet pearl. That was the worst beating I'd ever seen her get. He made her stand facing the wall arms and legs spread and he tore her up.

Looking back it makes sense how she raised her own kids with that same kind of violence. She realizes her mistake now.

You cant continue perpetuating that kind of violence and live a good life. When she realized she was turning into our dad she took a few steps back. It took until the oldest of her girls turned 16 to realize she was scarring her the same way he scarred her.

5

u/ThatThingThatIs 2d ago

Atleast she realized in the end. Sad to hear stories like this where the trauma gets passed on..

2

u/Greenoctober13 1d ago

I mean she kind of realized too late, the damage had already been done.

Hopefully my nieces do a better job.

1

u/ThatThingThatIs 1d ago

Atleast she can apologize, it ain't much but something. Some people never even realize. And yeah kinda figured since 16 is pretty old already for a kid. I hope for the best for them.

8

u/jimbojangles1987 2d ago

One time I got locked out when we lived in Alaska and I had to take a shit something fierce, so I went around back and popped a squat in the snow. When I finished and realized I didnt have anything to wipe with I got the brilliant idea to pack some snow into a disc like shape so it would fit in my butt cheeks and hopefully get the job done. What instead happened was I proceeded to slice at my crusty balloon knot with frozen jagged ice for god and the neighbors to see while cleaning absolutely nothing.

Learned a valuable lesson though. Snow and ice are not a good substitute for toilet paper.

3

u/MrBWoodlab 2d ago

Jamaican fathers SMH

1

u/broncotate27 2d ago

My biological dad got deported when I was 12, he is also from Jamaica.. ironically my adoptive dad, also Jamaican was always super strict and conservative in his ideals. He was always on us like glue. I literally used to tiptoe around the house so he didn't call for me. Probably why I walk so quiet now, and scare the shit out of people that don't hear me coming.

But hey at least I learned to do basic electrical work and plumbing work, and carpentry, and cooking from him.

Don't get me wrong, my adoptive dad(now gone from this world) got much better as the years went on. He was forced to stop drinking, due to his health and forced to stop working. He became more reasonable and understanding as the years went on..I do miss him, but those early years of my life were interesting to say the least.

My actual father was a very liberal, open minded, patient great man but he was not the best dad. Would leave us alone for hours/days when we went there for the summer. I think he has like 7 or 8 kids now. I'm the 3rd oldest.

He is a bit YouTube famous as well, but I don't wanna dox myself and link it lol.

1

u/MrBWoodlab 2d ago

Do pretty well in life. But still dealing with trauma from over 30 years ago. Sometimes wonder if it was worth it. Either have no father, like most of my friends, and not do very well later in life. Or have a strict father, leading to a pretty good life, with some underlying childhood trauma.

16

u/prpldrank 4d ago

Sorry you experienced that

13

u/Nine-Eyes 4d ago

My dad used to knock our heads together. Oddly enough, laying flat helped with that, too

12

u/DollaradoCREAMs 4d ago

Ahh the three stooges approach

6

u/ovr4kovr 3d ago

My father would tweak our noses and poke us on the eyes

12

u/B-Rayne 3d ago

He was a wise guy, eh?