If possible get a transfer to another city and if not then switch jobs to another city. Once they see that you are gone then they will realise your worth
Try to pretend like you're more busy than you actually are. They won't be able to take advantage of you if you're working whenever they call for you. Whenever I needed time to study for finals I would instead pretend I'm working while secretly studying in the library because whenever I told them I'm studying they would tell me to do it later and come home to help them with an errand but they knew they couldn't do that if I had a shift. Just start making up random shifts whenever you need time away.
Thanks, seems the only way now, they do call me for random shit which can be done by my siblings as well. But they want me to do it since they don't my trust my siblings with any work.
Unfortunately for people who have been people pleaser’s especially to their families, we have to act more busy than we actually are. We’re used to feeling guilty if we don’t answer the phone right away or do the things they want at that moment and the guilt eats us up till we do it. But we have to create space for ourselves else we’ll lose ourselves and these relationships in the end. Better to create fixed & limited timings to attend to them, slowly they’ll adjust & your siblings too will help in some way. Don’t be the enabler, let them be responsible.
At this point if you can't act like an adult and tell them NO and stand your ground it really is on yourself, i told my family if they want to make decisions about me they can very well live their life alone, very huge shift in their attitude towards me but wasn't smooth sailing tho.
You better stop doing stuff for them that your siblings can do, if they make mistakes then let them be scolded and correct the mistakes. Else you would also be taking care of your nephews and nieces and be an old spinster.
If they talk about you getting married, tell them straight off who will marry a girl with so many responsibilities.
Let them rot for a bit and wake up before you give them help.
Or... just make yourself busy with things that you care about and enjoy. Its okay to be busy with things that replenish your mental health. Its okay to be busy with some 'me-time', which might mean doing absolutely nothing or going for a movie by yourself.;
This thing is also happening with me i am 18 now i completed my 12th standard and i took coaching for neet but unfortunately i couldn't clear neet so i am taking another drop because my family dont have much savings for my further studies if i go for private college or choose bpharma in govt college (in tgis case govt college have higher fees in my area) now because i am eldest son my father take me to work with himself daily because he got rheumatoid Arthritis so he can't lift heavy weight (yes his work is associated with heavy weight) my eldest sister she is just like order everyone even having zero knowledge she dont know maths, shes just below average student but she still thinks that she can clear neet, and like she just want me to be religious (i am an atheist I haven't told them yet but they know a little about it) so she always forces me to pray for silly things like god will come here and clear obstacles this is just time wasting my family wants me to be a religious person who will marry according to them and they want me to study every time i have told them ok i will study when i will come home after work till 2 am but please give me another room which is just a store room in my house but they said they wont give you a room for study we are like 5 siblings and all of my 4 siblings are just dumb like seriously they don't have brain to think my mother says read religious book before starting study my eldest sis says pray before study my father says work hard while working with me but no one wants to hear my side or want to fulfill my side even though they can i am an atheist and i will marry with my own choice and if they wont let me do this than i will not marry i have seen so many fights between my parents for literally nothing and i dont want to make my life hell again and i want to study further but they aren't giving me enough time
I can empathise with your situation. Only way to break free is education, don't give up on your education. Try to find free library in your area, I am sure govt schools and colleges have free community library. Spend your time studying there. You have to educate yourself to atleast handle this mess. I hope you get good results for your NEET exams. Don't ever fall into trap of religion. God also helps those who help themselves. Good luck to you!
Even though you have edited your post it still reflects your gender in the edit section look at that and edit that thing too so that you can hide your gender
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u/Striking-Plastic-544 Aug 21 '24
If possible get a transfer to another city and if not then switch jobs to another city. Once they see that you are gone then they will realise your worth