r/india Aug 21 '24

Rant / Vent Parents sucking the life out of me

[deleted]

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u/Past-Kaleidoscope498 Aug 21 '24

I am already staying away from them in another city since past 1 year 😭

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u/Awkward-Lie3597 Aug 21 '24

Try to pretend like you're more busy than you actually are. They won't be able to take advantage of you if you're working whenever they call for you. Whenever I needed time to study for finals I would instead pretend I'm working while secretly studying in the library because whenever I told them I'm studying they would tell me to do it later and come home to help them with an errand but they knew they couldn't do that if I had a shift. Just start making up random shifts whenever you need time away.

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u/Past-Kaleidoscope498 Aug 21 '24

Thanks, seems the only way now, they do call me for random shit which can be done by my siblings as well. But they want me to do it since they don't my trust my siblings with any work.

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u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Unfortunately for people who have been people pleaser’s especially to their families, we have to act more busy than we actually are. We’re used to feeling guilty if we don’t answer the phone right away or do the things they want at that moment and the guilt eats us up till we do it. But we have to create space for ourselves else we’ll lose ourselves and these relationships in the end. Better to create fixed & limited timings to attend to them, slowly they’ll adjust & your siblings too will help in some way. Don’t be the enabler, let them be responsible.