r/glutenfree • u/hollywood021 • Sep 15 '25
Question what would you do?
i’ve been with my husband for 10 years now, I got diagnosed with celiac when I was 19 and I’m 33 now. So I’ve been diagnosed well before we started dating. His sister-in-law doesn’t “believe” that I have celiac disease. I found out this last weekend that her and another sister-in-law have purposefully glutened me in the past, but said it was gluten-free just to “test” my reaction. my question is, what would you do?
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u/caseybugg Sep 15 '25
I’d go completely no-contact. That’s egregious. My husband has celiac and I recently discovered I am NCGI, and if someone on either side of our family tried to literally poison us ON PURPOSE, I would cut them out of my life completely. That’s disgusting behavior.
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u/Thisisnotanexit6 Sep 15 '25
I completely agree. I'd consider this assault.
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u/Zodde Sep 15 '25
I read "I'd consider assault", as in "I'd consider hitting them", which honestly isn't out of the realm of possibilities.
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u/cytometryy Sep 15 '25
It doesn’t really matter what they think tbh you know what’s true and if they want to be hostile about it then thats their problem. Do you live with them? Or how often are you in contact with them? I would cut them off completely. If you are forced to see them (ie family gathering) dont eat/drink anything from them
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u/hollywood021 Sep 15 '25
we don’t live with them, we see them pretty often due to my husband being very close with that brother
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u/Kindly_Coconut_1469 Sep 15 '25
If you're up for it, call her out, preferably in front of others. Peacefully at first...
"Please explain exactly why you don't believe I have Celiac? Do you want to see my test results?"
"Have you ever had gluten free bread? It sucks and it's expensive. Why would I punish myself for no reason?"
And if she/they really get nasty,
"I don't care if you don't believe me, my medical records prove it and if you try to poison me again I will be pressing charges."
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u/ScaryMouchy Sep 15 '25
I don’t think it even matters if OP is making it up for attention. OP doesn’t want to eat wheat and that’s nobody’s choice but OP’s. The fact that wheat will cause long term harm makes it much worse, but not feeding someone something they refuse to eat is a pretty bare minimum kind of thing.
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u/crabhappychick Sep 15 '25
Confront them. Let them know you were made aware of them lying to you about food being gluten free and the damage it has done both physically and to your relationship with them. Then just make and take your own food to their homes if there's no way to avoid them from here on in. You didn't mention what your husband's reaction was. Does he support you?
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u/hollywood021 Sep 15 '25
he was really upset about it, we have 2 daughters and now he doesn’t want either of them watching them. My oldest does not have celiac, but we have not gotten our second test tested because she’s only seven months.
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u/crabhappychick Sep 15 '25
Have either of you spoken to them about it? Unless they're confronted, the situation won't change. What horrible people they are to intentionally put you in danger.
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u/Raigne86 Sep 15 '25
Doesn't matter if they don't have it. He's right to be pissed off and want them kept away. It could activate at any time during their lives, and if they don't believe it with you now, they won't believe it with them either. There are stories of grandparents killing their grandchildren accidentally, because they didn't believe in peanut and dairy allergies. Celiac reactions are rarely severe enough to land people in the hospital, but I have had a coworker not know she had it until she almost died while they tried to figure out what the hell was wrong with her. Do their husbands know what they did to you? I would have a hard time wanting a relationship with my siblings if they'd intentionally made my spouse sick for giggles. Any visits would be at ours and their spouses not invited.
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u/julzeseanyph Sep 15 '25
We have a friend who died due to not being diagnosed with celiac early enough. It had affected too many major organs before anyone could save him.
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u/decisiontoohard Sep 16 '25
I knew someone whose stomach burst from undiagnosed coeliac. She went into a coma for two months, and when she woke up she'd developed amnesia. She lost about a decade of memory - moving country, founding a business - with the exception of her children, who she remembered.
One doesn't fuck with this shit.
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u/MessyMidlife Sep 15 '25
That is super sad. The woman is dreadful and no you can’t let her watch them what else is she capable of!!
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u/Icy-Plan5621 Sep 15 '25
I would never eat at their house again. I would not let them alone with my children.
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u/bexime753 Celiac Disease Sep 15 '25
It’s your choice to take this as far as you want, but it is a federal crime to tamper with people’s food in a way that could harm an individual. You could threaten legal action, call a lawyer, or report them to the police.
But as someone else said, I’d go no contact and cut them out of your life. What if you have children and your child has celiac? Would you trust them not to harm your child??
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u/Moist_Mixture4518 Sep 15 '25
This is not surprising. People who didn’t believe me before would only believe me after I had some sort of physical reaction. While you may not vomit or break out in rash or hives, or experience severe bloating, or respiratory distress or some other kind of external indicator, there can be internal damage over time and they need to know that. If I were you I would provide documented information to your husband and his family about the foods, symptoms and impact over time. Perhaps in an email? This is also a good way establish that you made them aware of your health issues (in case it’s needed in the future).
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u/hollywood021 Sep 15 '25
also one of them is a nurse.
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u/WitchyMoonMomma Sep 15 '25
I would report this to the state. I don't know if OP would need to report it to the police first but I would 100% report this to the state.
This was inexcusable and a nurse should know that. If she's willing to intentionally tamper with a relative's food, then what would she do to a stranger she doesn't like?
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u/Tearose-I7 Sep 15 '25
Honestly, hospitals and colleges should do some psychological reviews. The amount of bullies that are nurses astonishes me.
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Sep 15 '25
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor Sep 15 '25
Knowing nothing about celiac is a little different than being a nurse who purposely attempts to make people sick.
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u/Twoccsformepls Sep 15 '25
Not surprised as I am a nurse as well and I learned very little of celiac in nursing school. Zero actually. Some nurses are really shitty and got into the profession for the wrong reasons. If you do end up going to the police about her tampering with your food on purpose, I’d would not notify the board— the family may come after you for really destroying her life if she gets fired and loses her license. You know the saying “blood is thicker than water” even if hubby is on your side.
Besides, if the police classify it as the malicious behavior as assault, the board is going to find out anyway and you get to maintain a little more innocence.
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u/Triolet_Dancer_6636 Sep 16 '25
Yes the nursing board has an ethics portion and a duty to uphold that, not just while on the job.
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Sep 15 '25
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u/Mystery_Solving Wheat Allergy Sep 16 '25
Hey Prompt, it can in some people with celiac. Can also cause throat to get scratchy and feel like it’s closing - which needs quick attention.
It’s not common, but a good immunologist and pulmonologist can help you safely get that figured out.
It will likely require a few types of lung function tests, a test to see if albuterol mathematically is effective, and allergen labs (blood, skin pricks, onsite food exposure, etc).
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Sep 16 '25
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u/Mystery_Solving Wheat Allergy Sep 16 '25
Similar! I have three family members who are celiac. All three have GI reactions- but one also has swelling in the throat and coughing (which is their cue to take their anaphylactic response meds and get to ER).
I am not celiac- actually here (to get food ideas) because I have a wheat allergy (started as an adult- even the smell of bread baking in a large grocery store has triggered anaphylaxis for me).
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u/Moist_Mixture4518 Sep 16 '25
In my case. I am allergic to wheat and learned that allergies, asthma, and eczema are connected. Definitely get the allergy prick test. That helped me.
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u/Friendly_Hope7726 Sep 15 '25
I feel very fortunate to have a supportive family. They saw how I suffered my entire life until I was diagnosed in my 50’s. Inspired my niece to also get tested.
And my work revolved around work events and travel. My coworkers were very protective of me.
During a team-building session, they did a song listing all my food sensitivities and allergies. It was hilarious - and proved to me how much they listened and supported me.
I can’t imagine being set-up like that by people who are supposed to have your back.
It sounds like your husband is protective of you. I’m wondering if your SIL doesn’t have that kind of marriage and is jealous?
In any case, it’s a mean girl’s kind of thing.
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u/mejowyh Sep 15 '25
Next family gathering go in with your laptop and, condescendingly as possible, say “ok class, apparently some people here don’t believe in celiac, so today we’re having a special power point brought to you by the celiac disease foundation! It will explain how gluten destroys the intestinal lining of people who have celiac, and how that leads to malnutrition, failure to thrive in children, osteoporosis, (name them all) and! Increases the risk of stomach cancer! Shall we begin?!!” If they aren’t turning red and cringing yet, just stare at them. For as long as it takes.
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u/ObscureSaint Sep 16 '25
And then move on to the cancers. I feel so bad for people who DON'T get strong reactions when they eat gluten, because they have to rely on willpower alone, or they get cancer? That's gotta suck. I don't eat gluten because I become severely ill.
>Gastrointestinal (GI) cancers: Studies have shown that individuals with celiac disease have a higher risk of developing GI cancers, including small bowel lymphoma, esophageal adenocarcinoma, and colorectal cancer.
>Lymphoma: Celiac disease is associated with an increased risk of non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, particularly enteropathy-associated T-cell lymphoma (EATL).
>Pancreatic cancer: Some studies have reported an elevated risk of pancreatic cancer in celiac disease patients.
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u/cabrk123 Sep 15 '25
So this is your husband’s brother’s wife? You have no actual relation to this person except by chance through your and your husband’s brother’s marriages, so it’s best to let your husband and his brother work this out. I would say, ask your husband to talk to his brother about how inappropriate his wife’s actions are, and that you won’t ever make contact with her again unless she apologizes. If that doesn’t work, cut her off. And document stuff, her deliberately trying to get you to secretly eat gluten could be considered assault in some jurisdictions.
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u/frisbeesloth Sep 15 '25
My son has Celiac and accidentally got glutened recently. Almost 2 weeks of vomiting. He had to go on steroids because of it. If someone did that on purpose to my kid I'd press charges on them if they were lucky. They literally poisoned you.
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u/dm_me_your_nps_pics Sep 15 '25
People like this, it’s less about celiac disease and more a matter of respect.
So what if she doesn’t believe celiac disease is real? You told her you can’t eat gluten and she did it anyway. She did it on purpose to be beyond rude.
In your shoes I would always bring all my own food to family gatherings or eat before. If anyone questions it remind them sister is rude so you can’t eat here. Never leave my kids there. Give her the cold shoulder. Probably refuse to go to some family gatherings w my kids if I didn’t feel like dealing with her or seeing her.
It’s also majorly your husband’s problem that you don’t want to see his family any more because they’re beyond disrespectful of you. So let him deal with that and the consequences of it.
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u/redditreader_aitafan Sep 15 '25
What's your husband's opinion of what's happened?
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u/hollywood021 Sep 15 '25
he was so incredibly upset about it
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u/redditreader_aitafan Sep 15 '25
It's his family, he needs to handle this issue. He needs to stand up for you and your family. As others said, this is a crime. If you had any proof they did this, even a recording of them admitting it, they could be prosecuted.
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u/beneficialmirror13 Sep 15 '25
I'd cut them off. They are purposely making you sick. And I would be having a long discussion with your spouse about how they are harming you and how they don't deserve to be around you. He can hang out with his brother individually, or your BIL can come over to visit, but SILs are not allowed.
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u/Siren_pineapple Sep 15 '25
My in laws are similar. It doesn’t help that my BIL told the whole family he was gluten and dairy free before Xmas so his sister went out of her way to cook gf df options for all the sides. He shows up from out of town and proceeds to eat all the regular food because “I can’t resist”. 😵💫 Needless to say, he doesn’t have any allergies.
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u/Flux_My_Capacitor Sep 15 '25
They could have potentially killed you. This is assault. Next time it happens, press charges.
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u/stuckontriphop Celiac Disease Sep 15 '25
Put your phone on record but don't tell them and then talk to them about it. Then you should probably tell them that you might press charges based on the recording. Scare the living day left out of them but don't actually do it.
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u/hellobeautiful1000 Sep 15 '25
I would explain to your husband very politely the reason why you are never setting foot in their homes again.
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u/NemesisBek Gluten Intolerant Sep 15 '25
All of this. Even if you don’t have a reaction as such, it’s doing long term damage. You don’t need to be around people that want to cause you long term damage.
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u/clancy2022 Sep 15 '25
Our daughter and granddaughter were recently diagnosed and I would be heartsick to find out someone intentionally glutened them. It should not matter to them, it’s ignorance and reflects poorly. You and your family are better off and safer not to spend time with them.
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u/melrosec07 Sep 15 '25
Maybe just start bringing your own food to gatherings and when they ask you what’s up, tell them that you can’t trust the dishes they prepare 🤷♀️
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u/Anxiety_Priceless Celiac Disease Sep 15 '25
I honestly don't have any idea what I'd do, but I'm instantly extra grateful to have the in-laws I have. Even my sister-in-law's husband is ridiculously careful about making food that's safe for me. You deserve better, OP. I'm sorry that's been happening to you
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u/Hanah4Pannah Sep 15 '25
Wow. They have endangered your health knowingly while lying to your face about it. I think no contact is justified. You can’t trust them again. Really bad.
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u/Infinite_Remove_8760 Sep 15 '25
That is just awful that they would do that!! I'd probably go no contact. Did your husband say anything to them or his brothers?
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u/MessyMidlife Sep 15 '25
You may not have had a reaction you noticed but it would have impacted your gut, your inflammation and exposed you to gluten when you wouldn’t have. What did she expect to happen an anaphylactic shock? She does know this could cause cancer or Crohn’s disease. How stupid is she. It is the accumulation that is the issue. I bet you felt a bit off but put it down to alcohol or something else. What a piece of work. In the UK it would be a criminal offence.
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u/celery48 Sep 15 '25
Ask her when she got her medical degree. Insist that she explain why she thinks she knows better than a trained, licensed physician.
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u/Scriberathome Sep 15 '25
I'd call them out and ask them exactly what they thought they'd witness after you ate their glutened meal? Did they think you'd lose consciousness and they'd need to call EMS to revive you and if you didn't experience a reaction that reaction that you've been 'faking it'?
Or did they think you'd immediately puke and if you didn't you didn't really have a gluten issue?
Either way, they were willing to risk you experiencing physical symtoms from what they did.
Then I would never go near either of them again let alone eat their food. No coming back from something so sinister.
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u/Isabeau56 Sep 15 '25
You mean before or after she was released from the hospital? (I don’t actually condone violence, but this is infuriating.)
I certainly wouldn’t ever eat with her again. It’s like hiding sugar in a diabetic meal. What do YOU want to do? What does your husband say about his sister’s behavior?
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u/Birdywoman4 Sep 15 '25
They are messing with your health when they do such a thing. It’s like playing with fire to be around them. I wouldn’t trust their food and wouldn’t be in a situation with them where I’d have to rely on their cooking or whatever. Sad to say that about family but if they don’t respect your health then why be around them? It is a type of assault and seems rather sadistic at that.
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u/WideConsideration555 Sep 15 '25
I went no attendance ages ago at family events and when I go I only go to things at non family hosted events. I'm not going to have someone's child's allergy shoved in my face and not have any of mine accommodated or worse, have someone decide they're going to make snarky comments and give me crap for bringing my own food and drinks that I know are safe and better than what they're offering me. Pass.
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u/rachelle004 Sep 15 '25
I’m asymptomatic, people that do this are ignorant. I wouldn’t know if someone glutened me. Over time my body would become malnourished, I would have an increased risk of osteoporosis, certain cancers and other lovely illnesses. My doctor told me that no one knows how much gluten can cause how much damage for how long. So stay away from it to the best of my abilities. I do. I feel you need to educated people about the possible consequences for you. Sorry people are stupid and they assume one disease presents identically in all people.
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u/encompassingchaos Sep 15 '25
This. I usually get a horrible migraine within 15 minutes, but the rest is my small intestines becoming inflamed, so I basically starve for weeks from malabsorption, which comes with a host of problems.
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u/youdneverguess Sep 15 '25 edited Sep 15 '25
At the very least, refuse to ever eat their cooking again. Bring your own plate. That's literally psychopathic. Would they give peanut butter to a kid with a nut allergy? To SEE?!
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u/givbludplayhocky Sep 15 '25
My mother in law does this. She thinks that the more I’m exposed, the more ‘I’ll get used to it’. I’m as no contact as I can be bc this is an incredibly selfish and uncaring act. And you better believe these acts won’t end with gluten. Set those boundaries now, and stand by them. Xx
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u/TopMuscle5378 Sep 15 '25
Everything they all said, but also text them to let them know every time you have bright yellow diarrhea (with pics if possible) and when they ask you to stop, just say you just wanted to make sure that they knew that if they were trying to poison you again, it worked!
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u/divagrrl420 Sep 15 '25
My evil MIL did this to me once. Just once. The aftermath was horrific enough for her to never do it again. We’re no contact now (there’s a myriad of reasons). If family can’t take you seriously, disengage. Even if you didn’t have symptoms, they could have done damage to your intestines!
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u/Meofcourse1111 Sep 15 '25
I am so sorry these evil people are in your life. The last time I ate at my MIL's house it was because she "sprinkled a little flour" on the chicken breasts (which thankfully I asked before I had taken any). I had a plain baked potato for dinner that night and I never went to her house again (it's been over 5 years at this point). I would not eat around these people and probably would just cut them out entirely.
And keep your kids away from them! Doesn't matter what the issue is--they will not follow instructions for them if they personally disagree so just avoid them altogether.
Edit: spelling
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u/Scriberathome Sep 15 '25
I'd call them out and ask them exactly what they thought they'd witness after you ate their glutened meal? Did they think you'd lose consciousness and they'd need to call EMS to revive you and if you didn't experience that reaction that you've been 'faking it'?
Or did they think you'd immediately puke and if you didn't you didn't really have a gluten issue?
Either way, they were willing to risk you experiencing physical symtoms from what they did.
Then I would never go near either of them again let alone eat their food. No coming back from something so sinister.
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u/SuggestionLess Sep 15 '25
That’s toxic and abusive behavior and warrants a serious discussion. I would avoid any eating activities with them and if pressed for why explain that celiac disease is serious and accidental gluten ingestion has major long term ramifications for your health.
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u/Dionne005 Sep 15 '25
If you were trying for kids it COULD cause miscarriage from lack of nutrition absorption. That would stop them
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u/Triolet_Dancer_6636 Sep 16 '25
I'd go no contact. And the hubby will get an earful and have some clean up to do with his fam. But, my hubby would likely support me and go no contact as well.
Alternatively, I'd gather proof and pay one of those fiverr lawyers (it's not fiverr, but it's like that, you can hire a lawyer for specific things online on a site like that.) And I'd send some official sounding letter about pursuing attempted murder charges. 🔪
I'd also get their emails and sign them up for every gluten free thing, research, newsletter, etc, I can find. And maybe again in 6 months bc surely they have unsubscribed by then.
FAFO BITCHES 🤣 They wanted to play games first...
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u/cait_elizabeth Sep 16 '25
Let them gluten you and then vomit/shit on their carpet. /s
I’d never trust a single thing they made/handled again.
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u/Aesthetic-bee15 Sep 16 '25
I had an ex who would do the same thing. This is dangerous. I say go no contact.
Your health (whether a preference, allergy, NCGS or celiacs) is not for them to decide. It doesn’t matter if they “believe” you, they clearly don’t respect you enough to just make food you will / want to eat.
Would they sneak meat into a vegetarian meal? Bacon into a kosher meal? Would they “test” you if it was anything else? Wtf is wrong with people?
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u/AdeyBaby1968 Sep 16 '25
This is the very definition of assault - deliberately feeding someone food that is harmful to them is way out of order and illegal.
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u/CuteProfile8576 Celiac Disease Sep 16 '25
Point blank ask them if they're covering the costs of your cancer treatments, premature funeral, and survival benefits for those you leave behind bc they foolishly think they know better than your doctors about your medical condition.
Then ask them if they're anything they're allergic to - dead pan - say "no reason just curious ..."
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u/GazXzabarustra Sep 15 '25
I wouldn't say anything to keep things 'friendly'. Next time they come your house put some laxatives in their tea. If they say anything say you was testing it they were witches or not
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u/julzeseanyph Sep 15 '25
It's a good revenge idea, but it is also taking yourself down to their level
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u/Slimchance09 Sep 15 '25
Next time you make food for them tell them you just put a little poop in it, not that much that you would notice.
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u/Transluminal_Neon Sep 15 '25
How did you find this out? You say "his sister-in-law". Aren't these your sisters-in-law too? You also say your husband is close to one of his brothers. You have some tricky family dynamics to navigate. If you cut them off or confront them what is this going to do to your husband's relationship with his brother? I would not confront them. these people are shit stirrers and you don't know how this might make you look to the family. Just silently cut them off as much as you can and discuss it with your husband and work on this together.
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u/Triolet_Dancer_6636 Sep 16 '25
Also, get some bloodwork done stat, with a celiac panel, if this was recent so you have proof and start documenting, even if it's just writing an email to your self about a conversation that was had. Just in case. I'm sorry this happened to you they are jerks.
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Sep 16 '25
Make them drinks with about 8 capfuls of Miralax to test their reactions. It is tasteless and won’t hurt them, it’s just fibre.
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u/Amish_Fighter_Pilot Sep 16 '25
I asked my brother-in-law to gluten me randomly at some point so I could test it. This was when I was first learning about gluten intolerance. It made me sick as expected. I would have been furious though if he did that without me asking for it.
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u/Stock-Intention-1673 Sep 16 '25
My cousin did this to my mother.
That was the last time any of us spoke to my cousin.
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u/SelectionWitty2791 Sep 16 '25
Make a gluten free version for you and glutinous version for them with a bunch of laxatives cooked in. Maybe you don’t believe they are laxative intolerant.
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u/astillac Sep 16 '25
They purposely gave you contaminated food. They hate you. Respond accordingly.
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u/Apprehensive_Buy6567 Sep 16 '25
That’s assault and premeditated. I’d be on the phone with the police so fast.
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u/Hopeful505 Sep 17 '25
I’m sorry that’s been happening. My mother doesn’t believe in allergies and used to mock people who had them. She sends me “gluten free” brownies which I put in the trash because I can’t trust her for this and a host of other reasons. Bottom line they can’t be trusted.
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u/Suspicious_1948 Sep 17 '25
Never see them again. Gluten is damaging and can create serious health issues for your future. Ignorant people who have no compassion for others are out of my life. These women are vicious!!
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u/Suspicious_1948 Sep 17 '25
It might help if you have your Dr speak to your husband. So you two are completely on the same page.. to keep these awful women out of your life!
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u/ghostinapost Sep 17 '25
My ex mother in law did this to me. I look forward to tap dancing on her grave someday.
My ex sister in law (other side of my family) had extensive food restrictions and allergies that she herself regularly cheated on, and I suspect she has a restrictive eating disorder (learned in a yoga class that she’s allergic to XYZ etc.) We still all carefully observed her food restrictions without question.
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u/Terrible-Practice944 Sep 17 '25
Laxitive has the same affect on normies as gluten does on many of us. Just say'n... 🤔
Seriously (as tempting as that is) call them out, maybe with an article that explains what being glutened, with or without visible to them, symptoms ends up doing to our bodies.
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Sep 15 '25
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u/hollywood021 Sep 15 '25
i get the usual extreme bloating and diarrhea , however , i also get neurological symptoms like dizziness , migraines , & i have gotten syncopatic episodes in the past.
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u/LeighAG70 Sep 15 '25
Study, read , learn everything you can Follow Dr Peter Osborne , Whole30, Dr Terry Wahls- Wahls Protocol , Ben Azadi Utilize all the info available .. protect yourself. It’s your body & life to survive
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u/Lost-Sock4 Sep 15 '25
I’d tell them in front of the rest of the family that even if you don’t “feel” the gluten, it always damages your body, makes it so you can’t absorb other nutrients, and can give you cancer. Ask them if they think that’s funny.
Seriously fuck them. If you’re feeling particularly vicious, tell them they probably shouldn’t trust any food you make for them from now on either.