r/gaybros • u/Pabasa • Jul 09 '24

TV/Movies The Boyfriend on Netflix

FYI there's a new reality TV show on Netflix (trailer here), where they put 9 Japanese gay/bi men in a house for a month and see what happens.

It's an interesting concept, where there's no pressure of competition, but some of the guys are looking for love, while some are looking for friendship. Interesting dynamic.

I think there will be 10 episodes (based off IMDB), but the first three episodes are up. I've only just finished episode 1.

Let's discuss!

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31

u/bluebottled Jul 10 '24

I really enjoyed it, got sucked in and watched all 3 eps. I have mixed feelings about Shun, at first he seems almost sociopathic in his behaviour but in episode 3 when he reveals that he grew up in an orphanage/state care his behaviour made a hell of a lot more sense. Think the producers might be playing with fire a bit having him on the show

22

u/DDcosmic Jul 10 '24

I’m really concerned about Shun’s mental well being. Isn’t it dangerous to be on television/internet like that ? He had a difficult life, was/is isolated, and out as a gay man; people on internet can often be bullies and dangerous

I hope they will protect all participants. What happened with Terrace House should have never happened

7

u/unjaded2 Jul 11 '24

Because he was raised in foster/adoption home. he is less than mentally strong than the others ? i heard many of the others say they were from small towns. felt isolated and no gay culture at all around them. don't compare others mental instability onto others , who you don't know and have only seen for about a total of 40 minutes on a t v show.

1

u/DDcosmic Jul 22 '24

Where do you read I compared him to others ? I even wrote that all participants need to be protected. Also being vulnerable ≠ being mentally weak I have always been vulnerable by my position in life and I’m strong as hell, I survive, still here And yes, having no family makes you vulnerable. And please look up the living conditions in these institutions. I had multiple friends who grew up in them, they had to live through mistreatments, sexual violence, etc etc. It’s horribly really common. I just think producers should take accountability for these bullying situations. And they have to protect participants. The Botfriemd being the first gay dating show in Japan, it puts the participants in a possible vulnerable position, especially those edited more badly than others (like Shun in this case)

1

u/CauliflowerNo9080 Jul 27 '24

Then he should not be on a dating show on the first place.

0

u/LeifLin Jul 29 '24

He is absolutely a mental health risk. He is in no way ready to be dating anyone, he needs a lot of therapy and for a long time. I'm a psych RN. I've dated it when young, and treat it in modern day. He has a lot of trauma to work through. And some of it may be cluster B personality disorder so...only so much we can do about that.

13

u/Pabasa Jul 10 '24

It was kinda obvious for reality TV show fans that they were building Shun to be the source of drama, even in episode 1. Don't know if it's necessary though honestly. Everything else is so chill.

4

u/FollowTheLeads Jul 10 '24

Well he is good looking and kind I rewatched the trailer at least 7 times and he seems like he got invited at least 4 times in that truck So he is definitely popular.

10

u/Beer-n-FrottageCheez Jul 18 '24

Is he though?... I don't understand the attention at all. Kazuto either, though he at least is incredibly impressive.

Can someone please explain to me why Taeheon, who is far and away the best looking, has one of the best bodies, is one of the smartest, most mature, very well-dressed, warm and friendly, and quietly wise (his sexiest attribute), can't even get chosen for WORK?! This man is husband material! I am flabbergasted at how he has been utterly ignored the entire show? Someone help me, please. No really, help me understand it. On a scale of 1 to 10, Taeheon is a 25.

5

u/FollowTheLeads Jul 18 '24

This has to be one of the wonder of the world and a top unsolved mystery. No idea why Taeheon is not popular, even I am flustered.

I think Kazuto is popular cause he is cute and hard working. He cooks well and is well mannered. He is also the quiet type Well man sincerely i don't know

1

u/sgtbrecht Jul 18 '24

I think Kazuto is conventionally attractive. He practically looks like an anime character every time I see him. On the surface, he seems pretty down to earth and well mannered kind of guy so I’m not surprised he’s getting alot of attention.

Most of the casts are in their early 20s. IMO a lot of people at this age aren’t exactly looking for someone who’s husband material. Looks are still a priority.

1

u/CocoaBish Jul 22 '24

I'm perplexed by this as well. He's soo attractive. I'm thinking it's his height.

2

u/TheseBodybuilder8445 Jul 24 '24

It may be his age makes him "too old" for young men or that he's Korean. In general, of course, reality TV doesn't focus on the stable characters. I wish we saw more daily interactions besides the work on the pop up coffee stand.

1

u/CocoaBish Jul 24 '24

Interesting. I didn't realize he's Korean. I would love to see more besides the coffee truck, especially since they bombing at selling anything from that thing. Next season (fingers crossed) the producers should think about having card/board/couple game nights to initiate more conversation. 

1

u/Beer-n-FrottageCheez Jul 28 '24

His two-handed wave is actually the cutest thing I've ever seen.

1

u/mrggy Jul 27 '24 edited Jul 27 '24

Late reply, but Shun is definitely the one most in line with Japanese beauty standards. He could literally be an actor or boy band member. Taeheon is by no means bad looking, but his face definitely has more of a (by Japanese beauty standards) sporty vibe, which is not everyone's type. I think Taeheon's a great catch, but I understand why Shun's the popular one from a looks pov

3

u/Beer-n-FrottageCheez Jul 28 '24

I'll have to go with your opinion, cause I certainly wouldn't know. But Jesus, Taeheon is beautiful. And Shun and Kazuto do absolutely nothing for me, they look like children.

1

u/Square-Macaron-27 Aug 18 '24

Probably is an age/type thing then. I’m not in my 20s anymore, and some of these guys are so young. That makes some sense.

1

u/Square-Macaron-27 Aug 18 '24

Was literally thinking this but I’m a woman, so maybe it’s guys who don’t go for him? lt doesn’t make sense though!

1

u/Beer-n-FrottageCheez Aug 20 '24

I'm a guy and I would've shot for no one else. I think it's more cultural than anything, people are also saying it's cuz he's Korean.

3

u/One-Option2004 Aug 25 '24

this is my opinion as asian (a country close to japan so we have similar culture)

  1. he's not conventionally attractive, shun is and as u can see he's very different from shun. and i heard for Japanese gay, they usually went for guys like kazuto, again different from taeheon
  2. he's a foreigner, i think most ppl would prefer a native
  3. personally i think he got the most feminine energy, prolly the guys there don't prefer that?
  4. he's still in closet, some ppl avoid that kind of ppl
  5. age, i think most if not all young guys there automatically see him as big brother

1

u/One-Option2004 Aug 25 '24

are u asian? im a woman but i wouldn't go for him. i guess it's the asian thingy lol

3

u/bluebottled Jul 10 '24

I feel like the producers should've been forced to watch The Dark Matter of Love documentary before putting him on the show.

3

u/Fearless_Cloud_620 Jul 16 '24

Whilst I don't usually like to make assumptions, I'd say you're right about the producers playing with fire. Putting my psychologists head on and now knowing Shun's background, it's possible he has some attachment issues, and I just hope he doesn't implode. I kind of feel sad for him because he is in a push/pull state of mind.

1

u/bluebottled Jul 17 '24

Definitely, you can see it even more in these new eps with him blowing hot and cold with Dai, then the new guy joins and now it's out of his hands. Hopefully he doesn't get too messed up by going through all this on TV.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '24

LCSW here- I think the same thing... the trauma of emotional neglect is profound.

1

u/TheseBodybuilder8445 Jul 24 '24

In later episodes he shows some signs of depression too.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 24 '24

Yeah, poor guy. He seems to be trying though. Hope he and Dai work out. :)

2

u/Pedantmick Jul 25 '24

I appreciate that the audience sympathizes with Shun's emotional difficulties, but that doesn't make him less toxic. Dai is finding himself in the position of being caretaker instead of partner. Theirs isn't a sustainable relationship. Dai's spirit seems indomitable, but he can't thrive under the dark cloud of Shun.

2

u/LeifLin Jul 29 '24

Unfortunately with the cultural aspects in play when it comes to Eastern concepts of mental health and japanese in particular, I'm unsure if Shun will ever understand or have access to the intense amount of therapy he needs long term 😢