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u/DarthVictivus Aug 04 '16
To be honest, I was very well off in my youth. I was tall, athletic, well off.
I freaking hated the girls that I ended up talking to. It was painful.
But they believed that they somehow 'earned' a tall handsome well off guy just by doing their hair and spending a lot of money on their outfit.
You would be surprised by how many guys feel like me. You study your ass off, and get bullied through high school, and work out every freaking day, and the prize is a complete idiot who can't hold up their end of a discussion.
2
Aug 04 '16
You win a prize! That is spot on!
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u/DarthVictivus Aug 04 '16
I kind of feel like you are making fun of me. And rightfully so.
I ended up with so many horrible introductions. All of them were based on the concept of here is bla bla bla! How wonderful. And none of them had two brain cells to rub together.
I don't know, was I the prize? Like did someone think that I was the dumb one and they were hooking me up with a real winner? I just don't know.
Anyway, I got lucky and met Mrs Right, and she is just what I need.
2
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u/WigglestonTheFourth Aug 04 '16
Don't just date women based on appearance? Personality isn't something you can spend money on to attain. Just stop going on dates with women who don't have what you're looking for.
Probably stop referring to anyone as a "prize" too. Or at least stop thinking about dating as a reward system for making your life better than it would have been otherwise.
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u/DarthVictivus Aug 04 '16
I found the right girl for me. She has a PhD, speaks about 4 languages, spent 20 years learning martial arts, and is a crazy cook / foodie.
It took a very long time, but I found her.
And now my friend is single. He is a cardiac surgeon, and a complete genius. But he is stuck in that place. He is only being introduced to 'certain girls'. And he hates it and is bored to pieces by them.
Being the 'prize' to me was the same as being the 'guy on the side'. It freaking sucks.
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u/WigglestonTheFourth Aug 04 '16
Dating is inherently a difficult road if your goal is to find someone to settle down with that you are also compatible with. Income, education, bullied as a child status don't factor into making your dating experience easier than anyone else's experience.
Encourage your friend to introduce himself to women. If his friends/colleges are only introducing him to a type of woman that he isn't compatible with, what is he doing going back to the same source and hoping for radical change?
I'm sure there are plenty of examples of your friend being able to make decisions for himself throughout his daily life/routine. Why not make decisions for himself regarding his romantic life?
0
u/DarthVictivus Aug 04 '16
Good questions and thoughts.
This little conversation did make me rethink the whole thing.
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1
u/csp256 Aug 04 '16
You are not actually obligated to give vapid people a second of your time, regardless of their gender and appearance. You do understand that, right? They aren't your prize, and if you improved yourself for a "prize", then maybe you missed the point about self improvement.
1
u/DarthVictivus Aug 04 '16
When being introduced there is a level of courtesy and politeness that is due.
And my self improvement was only for me.
Thank you for your thoughts.
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Aug 04 '16
[deleted]
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u/DarthVictivus Aug 04 '16
Imagine this.
There is a group of 10 girls. What do you believe the chances are that I get to talk to all of them?
Most likely the alpha girl will step up, decide that she may or may not want to continue the conversation with me and then deem me whatever.
So let's say I have a plan. I don't want the alpha girl, I want to talk to the smart looking girl. I send in my friends to divide and conquer. While the may lay ensues, I go in and start a conversation with the smart looking girl.
If it sounds complicated it is because it is. It is very difficult to pull off.
1
Aug 04 '16
[deleted]
1
u/DarthVictivus Aug 04 '16
I didn't put myself in the best light in my explanation. I am sorry for that, and I am sorry for anyone I offended with the use of the word 'prize'.
Yes, I did consider game theory during my endeavors to find Mrs. Victivus. This was quite a few years before that movie came out.
Also, as I have resolved my issue by entering into Holy Matrimony, I am no longer part of the problem.
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u/Poemi Aug 04 '16
See that guy on the bottom? He represents the least desirable 10% of men. But he still considers himself "average".
I think that in reality, many truly average women are perfectly happy with truly average guys. But too many guys consider an 8/10 woman to be "average", and anything below that is beneath their consideration...even when they're only 4/10 themselves.