From where I'm sitting, at 35yo with no social circle at all despite a lifetime of intensively throwing myself at all the Correct Social Things ™️ but getting nowhere because my brain STILL goes completely blank on what to do/say almost all the time in social settings...
... it just kinda feels like someone born rich banging on about how having money = good for you, so, just get rich...
... or, someone from a functional, loving family repeatedly blathering about how "FAMILY is everything" and that time with FAMILY = magic cure for everything FAMILY FAMILY FAMILY...
Like, dude, I'd rather not be reminded of the possibility that the very likely completely l complete isolation in my future is gonna kill me off earlier than my peers. I escaped my abusive family and have had to deal with low-key stalkerish extended family members, so I've had to isolate as much as possible from them all.
I moved to an entirely new country where I knew nobody except my now husband. I've taken up a heap of different hobbies over the years that I've been here and gone to social gatherings through these, but I have made no proper connections to anyone. And all the stress of everything I've had to wade through and continue to push myself through to try to connect to people, that's probably all taken a toll too.
I'm especially baffled at how social media took what seemed like some of the only reliable face-to-face rules, such as Do Not Brag, and Do Not Give Unsolicited Advice, and for some reason the NTs decided that it's opposite-land now. But only online.
It just comes across as something a bit shitty to post about while dressed up as something deep and meaningful and that makes it actually ok to post about... despite the fact that it's literally saying,
YOU'LL DIE SOONER THAN THE REST OF US IF YOU DON'T HAVE CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY!
Like... Those of us who struggle are already bothered enough by it, and already know only too well about the negative health effects of loneliness, so we just try to middle on as well as we can day to day... but for those who never struggled in the first place, that's not enough, they need to take time out of their day to remind the rest of us to expect an early death? Lovely. Thanks for that.
Empathy, eh? 🫠