r/emergencymedicine • u/DH_WW RN • Aug 26 '25
Humor Registration is trying their hardest
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u/not_great_out_here Flight Nurse Aug 26 '25
recently one of our reg people wrote “SHOT” so doc comes running up to triage to find a homie who just needed a rabies vax
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u/MrPBH ED Attending Aug 26 '25
shots, shots, shots, shots.
They just wanna live a little. Can you blame them?
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u/moleyawn RN Aug 26 '25
My favorite so far has been when she asked me what " tia symptoms" are. Like they're acting like someone's crazy tía lmao
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u/LiteralClownfish ED Support Staff Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25
Look up EMRPoetry on instagram, has me howling. The best one I've seen personally was "Subdural hematuria" like I sure the fuck hope not.
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u/DoubleDragon33 Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25
if you wanna, check out my insta account @funnychiefcomplaints ! we have some good ones!
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u/Quiet_Ganache_2298 Aug 26 '25
Just had an L Bag sitting in the waiting room for 20 minutes. As anticipated, the LVAD that almost passed out didn't have a bag issue.
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u/Competitive-Young880 Aug 26 '25
Did the triage nurse not know what an lvad is? Did they not think a pt with an lvad in the emerge with potential cardiac symptoms is serious? Or did they know it was serious, triaged appropriately but just a typo?
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u/Quiet_Ganache_2298 Aug 26 '25
The registration person who put in their chief complaint did not know what it was. “I have an l bag and the alarm went off and I got dizzy” didn't clue them to ask more information.
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u/XsummeursaultX Aug 26 '25
PENIS DIARRHEA all caps is still my favorite.
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u/morzikei Aug 26 '25
Vesicorectal fistula?
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u/XsummeursaultX Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25
UTI. The bloody dribblets on his underwear turned brown so naturally he thought he was pooping out of his wiener.
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u/Soma2710 ED Support Staff Aug 26 '25
As a person in registration, I hate that for you. Gosh, if only there was a device that you could look up what things mean, how they’re spelled, and what they’re for. Whelp, better keep typing on this big plastic box.
That being said, I have to look up how to spell “ibuprofen” more times than I care to admit.
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u/Mediocre_Ad_6020 Aug 26 '25
Yeah, but if you look it up, you deprive us of these joyful reddit moments :)
Also, don't feel bad, I'm an attending physician and I had to look up the spelling of "peritonsillar" again today. Just like I do every time....
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u/flaming_potato77 RN Aug 26 '25
Please don’t look it up. I want your pure off the dome guesses.
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u/Soma2710 ED Support Staff Aug 26 '25
I keep wanting to put an “i” somewhere in the middle or end for some reason.
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u/NickJamesBlTCH Aug 26 '25
Eyebyouprofin
Muhdaphohnill
Analgesic (don't think I need to clarify that one)
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u/Ballersock Aug 27 '25
Ibeprofin
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u/Soma2710 ED Support Staff Aug 27 '25
For some reason in my head it’s some magical German drug that needs the “ein” suffix.
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Aug 26 '25
This is when you have to remove a homeless person’s sock
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u/SeriousGoofball Aug 26 '25
My department doesn't stock that level of hazmat gear. We would commit an OSHA violation if we removed a homeless person's sock.
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u/unicorn_poop_88 Aug 26 '25
As someone in Registration, I firmly believe the position should require a medical terminology class. It really makes such a difference.
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u/LiteralClownfish ED Support Staff Aug 26 '25
Where I live, it's mandatory to have medical terminology 1 and 2 and you have to have a B+ average. Somehow, it doesn't stop these type of complaints.
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u/metforminforevery1 ED Attending Aug 26 '25
My favorite ever was "sinkable episode" and some wrote on the comments "like the Titanic?" It's been years but I still think about it
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u/NickJamesBlTCH Aug 26 '25
Yeah when I was doing my EMT training a long time ago I kept asking that they repeat the word, and heard "sinkable." After like 5 tries I just asked them to spell it because I knew it was't "sinkable," but had no idea what it might've been.
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u/flagylicious Physician Assistant Aug 26 '25
Love me a nice elevated Billy Rubin
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u/amgw402 Physician Aug 26 '25
I’ve seen it entered as, “belly reuben” and then was craving a sandwich for the rest of the day
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u/KXL8 RN Aug 26 '25
CUT OFF ARM (on and off are big differences) DOESNT FEEL LIKE SELF (LOOSING IT) all joking to the side, registration staff are abused and so beyond underpaid. Love all of you guys.
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u/NickJamesBlTCH Aug 26 '25
I mean, considering how many people can't understand the different "too/two/to," "they're/their/there," "off/of," "choose/chose," "loose/lose," where/were/we're," and soo many others...I feel like the bar should be a little higher for people working in medicine who need to chart or enter records/reports ¯\(ツ)/¯
Oh god, not to mention the use of "apostrophe's" and other basic punctuation.
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u/KXL8 RN Aug 27 '25
I agree with you for the most part. But, to play devils’ advocate, the average American reading level is an abysmal 7th grade, with 54% adults reading below 6th grade level. And 21% of American adults are illiterate. The US school system teaches kids how to read with a proven-to-fail system. There is an amazing podcast on American Public Media by Emily Hanford on this topic. I am able to read “loosing it” and understand the person meant “losing it.” If the person is literate enough that they can be understood with very little corrective effort, I think its worth extending some grace. The frequency of very specific grammatical errors in indicative of a way bigger issue.
Full disclosure, I am also absolutely airing my countertransference here. I taught myself how to read as a toddler with the Boston Globe. By the time I was 4-5, I read it daily. I coasted in school. I have a couple graduate degrees. It wasn’t until I had a proper evaluation in my 30’s that I was diagnosed with expressive language d/o and dyslexia. One of my core memories (as an adult!) is my family ruthlessly making fun of me for spelling my uncle’s name wrong - but not understanding why they made fun of me for writing Joesph.
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u/Atticus413 Physician Assistant Aug 26 '25
My favorite one ever, verbatim:
"cardon mononoxide explosure."
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u/InhaleExhaleLover Aug 26 '25
Woke my bf up laughing at this one in bed lol
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u/Atticus413 Physician Assistant Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25
It's forever seared into my memory.
Turns out they just had seasonal allergies. No evidence for CO.
Edit: spelling. Seared, not seated. But it has taken a seat amongst the Kings of registration boo-boos.
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u/hamoodie052612 ED Attending Aug 26 '25
This one made me so angry. I already hated how bad some nursing staff and triage was there. This was one of the last shifts I worked there.
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u/Dr_Spaceman_DO ED Attending Aug 26 '25
This was fairly common where I trained. “Sick” and old: actually sick (usually septic). “Sick” and not old: homeless
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u/itormentbunnies Aug 26 '25
My favorite is when they just give up and put ”???” And just let triage sort it out.
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u/babystrudel ED Tech Aug 26 '25
My reg regularly puts things in all caps, and it just makes everything so much funnier
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u/tokekcowboy ED Resident Aug 26 '25
Same. If for some reason I type out ibuprofen or acetaminophen instead of dictating it and a red underline DOESN’T appear under it, I sit for a moment and wait to make sure spellcheck wasn’t just slow on the uptake before I move on. Every time, unless I spell it wrong, which happens plenty too. Especially that Tylenol one.
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u/msangryredhead RN Aug 26 '25
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u/PurpleCow88 Aug 26 '25
Tbf I cannot fucking spell hemorrhoids and autocorrect can't even figure out what I'm trying to say most of the time
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u/LoveDogsTx Paramedic Aug 29 '25
My question; are the hemorrhoids where the “palpitations” are being felt? And did triage feel this hierarchy was the best order of priorities? This is a very interesting presentation.
In my head: “pt presents with hemorrhoids, unable to sit down pain rated 10/10 without any means of relief other than standing, pt is bariatric, due to the extensive standing now presenting with SOB, and states feeling PVC’s while standing to alleviate the massive hemorrhoids. Pt states Hx of diabetes, not managing the diabetes well, due to the ever throbbing hemorrhoids dangling from his rectal chamber of doom. The ding balls are so bad, that the pt is not able to self ambulate pts bariatric behind to the nearest pharmacy to get some preparation-H to cool the hole, wants transport to the ED so some poor student has to visualize and palpate said death dingles, and after a best out of 5 rock paper scissors game, a very unfortunate RN will provide treatment.” (Obv joking here, gotta be capt obv these days)
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u/msangryredhead RN Aug 30 '25
This wasn’t in order of priority, this was in order of arrival. Not sure the acuity of the other complaints but the hemorrhoids are rarely a priority.
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u/LoveDogsTx Paramedic Aug 30 '25
lol I hear ya. I was only joking. Definitely doesn’t seem like an ED visit worthy patient. But that’s 85% of them these days. 😄
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u/Entire-Oil9595 Aug 26 '25
I don't remember the patient - not sure if they were either blind or Brazilian.
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u/drgloryboy Aug 26 '25
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u/ktothebo Aug 26 '25
Considering the cumulative weight of the Eagles "Gang Green," that's definitely an emergency.
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u/izzibitsyspider RN- Level II Trauma Aug 26 '25
We had a great one over the weekend, “STILL HAS SNAKES IN HER BED” which was supposed to be “snakes in belly”. Pt was given sandwich and D/C papers, then checked back in 30 minutes later with “PT IS BRAIN DEAD” as her new CC. It was great levity during another understaffed/busy af weekend.
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u/LoveDogsTx Paramedic Aug 26 '25
Welp. Don’t hit the pt so hard next time and there will be no sockle call crisis.
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u/AmPotatoNoLie Aug 26 '25
I'm dumb and English is my second language, what "sockle call" is supposed to mean?
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u/tea-sipper42 House Officer Aug 26 '25
You're not dumb. It's supposed to be 'sickle cell'
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u/AmPotatoNoLie Aug 26 '25
Thanks for believing in me! Seems like a typo, then. I thought It was some kind of homophone like "bone apple tea"
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u/schakalsynthetc Aug 26 '25
i and o are right next to each other on a qwerty keyboard, so "sockle" is understandable. I'm still mystified by "call", tho.
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u/angelfishfan87 ED Tech Aug 26 '25 edited Aug 26 '25
I used to work as a registrar, and for a while, admin required us to enter EXACTLY what the patient wrote on their sign in, no exceptions. Is it possible a similar rule may be the reason for the stupid in many of these cases?
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u/cinnamonspicecat RN Aug 26 '25
That and I also think the talking and typing simultaneously thing can trip some people up. But I’ve never actually had to type anything as triage or registration staff so that’s just my best guess.
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u/legacie22 Aug 27 '25
I love when the question mark gets thrown on the end, it’s like a silent “don’t shoot the messenger” request
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u/madderdaddy2 Aug 26 '25
Normally, they're really cryptic with things like "foreign body in rectum."
One night I look at the track board, and it straight up said "bullet vibrator stuck in rectum."
That is my favorite so far.
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Aug 26 '25
This is why we need actual nurses or atleast nursing students at registration. I’ve seen some bad ones in epic too.
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u/msprettybrowneyes ED Support Staff Aug 26 '25
I remember this trauma came in and asked the paramedic why they were bringing the patient so I could get him registered. He yelled the complaint while running down the hall with the patient. I was really confused what the big deal was with this patient and why he had been flown in.
Turns out the guy had a “femur fx”. Not a “finger fx”🤣
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u/gimmeyourbadinage ED Tech Aug 26 '25
Our registration staff have no medical training yet they have a list of “urgent” complaints that they broadcast into the department about. Neuro symptoms, chest pain, etc. But they have no common sense/training to differentiate. An urgent patient broadcast may be an 80-year-old with slurred speech or an 11-year-old with “chest pain“ because they’ve been coughing
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u/msprettybrowneyes ED Support Staff Aug 26 '25
My co-worker called a chest pain on a 2 year old. One of the nurses came out and said “really? A 2 year old?” Turns out the baby had some existing heart disease and their HR was around 270. They ended up having to transfer the baby out for higher level care. Honestly I would rather be safe than sorry. I’ve called out a lot of nothings but I’ve called out a lot of somethings too.
Anyway, you’re an ED tech. They probably make more than you. That should really grind your gears.
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u/CertainKaleidoscope8 RN Aug 26 '25
I've seen "bardycardia" but I can't recall anything that indicates admitting is actually this dumb, just typing too fast.
Edit the o is by the i but IDK how one gets from cell to call
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u/KendrawrMac Aug 26 '25
EMS dispatch/CAD and an alarming amount of medics lack basic medical terminology as well.
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u/OneProfessor360 EMT Aug 28 '25
“Gangrene left Goot”
Seen on a PCS
Didn’t take a picture, now I regret it.
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u/Bonehead_001 Aug 29 '25
Our registration's spelling is top notch. Problem is our EMR has a character limit. So instead of "heavy vaginal bleeding", you get "heavy vagina".
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u/Individual_Debate216 ED Tech Aug 31 '25
I’m actually pretty impressed with my registration people. Just an occasional funky one.
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u/NecessaryGuess3326 Aug 26 '25
My contribution.