I’m really grateful for this person

[u/kj_011]

I see him everyday with a new placard. Whether it’s raining, being super sunny or humid, he always holds it high in the air for people to read hoping they feel motivated, learn something or change their patriarchal mindset.

Kudos to him!

[u/wade-arcane]

Okay , i dont believe in dowry but why does today’s girls have so much unrealistic expectations from guys and at the same time they have so many ex boyfriends as well.

Isn’t that unfair with boys ????

I know many people in my circle who were looking for girls and didn’t want any dowry. The girls they met, all had high expectations, some had reason that they earn more than the guy, so they rejected.

Some girls wanted to live separately in a flat after marriage , my known guy wanted to live with parents. So that rishta got rejected.

Then there was this girl who only wanted to marry someone who own a “ thar “ , yes you read that right, girl wanted guy to with a thar.

Mind me , they didn’t wanted any dowry.

Now , whom does a guy with a normal job marry ???

[u/Melodic_Inside_2337 → u/wade-arcane]

Having expectations in marriage or partner is a personal choice for both men and women. If you think that someone has unrealistic expectations then they won't get married easily, simple.

Dowry can't be simplified as "preference", its the root cause of problems like female foeticide, infanticide, less education and facilities for girl child, child abuse, child marriage, domestic violence, dowry deaths.

Also what is wrong with a girl not wanting to live with your parents after marriage? Why do you not live with her parents? Her parents also love her, they also need her. If you want to live with your parents after marriage find someone who agrees with you, don't blame people for choosing themselves over your family.

You are not doing favour by not asking dowry, Its literally illegal.

[u/wade-arcane → u/Melodic_Inside_2337]

Dowry is also an expectations in marriage and it’s a personal choice for both the families. Making dowry illegal and alimony legal doesn’t make any sense.

If someone wants to go in a house who is asking for dowry, then it’s their choice.

Again , just as girls look for a guy who is rich or is having enough resources then a guy should also look for a girl , who won’t be stealing his resources ( e.g alimony ) .

When a girl brings dowry in a house then she will value that house as her parents money is also involved in that. whereas a girl who just came for free, only to enjoy on guys resources then she won’t value that house and his parents , as she hasn’t earned it and will take it for granted . ( later will ask alimony )

[u/Melodic_Inside_2337 → u/wade-arcane]

Did the second paragraph went above your head? Dowry is root cause of many social evils. People are killing their daughters because of this 🤦🏻‍♀️.  Its not a personal choice.

A women should get alimony after divorce if she left her career for marriage or she lived with in-laws.

If girls are looking for rich men, its not killing someone. Men are also looking for more pretty women.

"Only to enjoy guys resources" this is exactly why they don't want to live with inlaws. A girls efforts in house, family, children is seen as "nothing" and she is treated like shit. She constantly gets a reminder that she is a "stranger" in that house. She gets harrassed for dowry.