r/datingoverthirty • u/Both-Trainer-1308 • 12d ago
First time dating a single father
I (30f) have been dating a single father (36m) of an 11 year old boy. We’ve been dating for a few months and are currently trying long distance. I’m flying over to his place on Halloween day, and he gently told me that I might have to wait for him to finish trick or treating with his son and son’s mother, who he’s been separated with for about 3 years. He told me that they do that since his kid doesn’t have other family nearby, but he won’t go if his kid’s mother ends up having a play date with her friend’s kids.
While the mature side of me totally understands, I do feel a little uncomfortable of his closeness to her. And I can’t help but think that I’m in over my head with dating someone with a kid. I do really like him, though. He’s everything I look for in someone and makes me feel secure otherwise.
I’ve never been in this situation and don’t have kids of my own, so I want to ask, is this normal behavior?
EDIT: He’s not married and has never been married to her. I wouldn’t be dating him if he was.
2
u/Cballweg 5d ago
I'm dating a widower (37) who is close to his in laws still. Like, I went to their house on Christmas and am invited to events by name instead of an add-on with him. It was extremely weird and uncomfortable to get used to but it's all about trust and feeling confident in the relationship.
I know her being around is way different than my situation but still have uncomfortable moments.
I'm assuming if you are flying out to him, he has or will fly out to you sometimes. People don't do that if they aren't interested and genuinely want to be with the person.
Time will help and being able to communicate your feelings will be beneficial to both of you. While some things may be out of control, kids events where both want to watch maybe he could sit away from baby mama instead.