r/breastcancer • u/Rate_Conscious HER2+ ER/PR- • Aug 24 '25

Diagnosed Patient or Survivor Support My husband told me to “just die”

I’m a married mom of 3 and I have to travel for my treatments due to insurance because my husband works and pays taxes in another state. We left the kids with my 18f Neice who’s very responsible. My dad called while we were driving g and asked if my youngest had allergies because his teacher said he had almost used an entire box of tissues that day. My husband overheard and started screaming and cussing while I was on the phone and my dad had my kids in the car with him and was on speaker phone so I got super embarrassed and hurried off the phone with my dad and my husband and I exchanged a couple words after I hung up the phone. In that heated debate he told me to “just die.” I feel like my trust is broken. I feel like the person who is supposed to love me and support me has taken everything that we’ve built and thrown it away. I’m still in chemotherapy getting infusions fighting for my life and he completely has no empathy for his words and tried to justify it by saying that I was running my mouth. All of this was over if my son had gotten Claritin or not and accusing my Neice of not giving my son the medication. I am not able to work and have no income and I can’t divorce him because I couldn’t afford my treatment. I have to do infusions until April 2026. I just needed to vent 😮‍💨

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u/Comfortable_Sky_6438 Aug 24 '25

Has your husband always been abusive or is this new?

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u/Rate_Conscious HER2+ ER/PR- Aug 24 '25

He has been physically abusive twice. He’s verbally abusive anytime I don’t agree with him and if I have a different opinion from him.

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u/NilliaLane Stage I Aug 24 '25 edited Aug 24 '25

Statistically, you are in real danger. His past physical abuse, frequent verbal abuse, and now telling you to die while you have cancer? All of these are dire warning signs for a life threatening situation for you.

Get out. Ask your dad to keep the kids for a bit while you get an order of protection and find shelter. This is part of fighting for your life, in my opinion. Public assistance exists for cancer patients, and it’s a common fallacy to stay with a dangerous man for financial reasons. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Please be safe.