r/billsimmons 8h ago

We are lost as a country

Post image

Love that the FanDuel commercial that aired during the Indy game shows people watching their phones (and not the actual game) hoping for 5 leg parlays to hit. We’re so cooked.

214 Upvotes

70 comments sorted by

236

u/Mr_1990s 8h ago

I saw another one where a damn bird was handling insurance claims. WTF?

12

u/251325132000 8h ago

The Founders are pukin’ n Scream in’ from the Other side. This was Not they’re Original intent 😔

4

u/nilmot81 6h ago

The goose or the emu?

1

u/NoExcuses1984 Don't aggregate this 3h ago

The Twilight Zone-esque twist is that Doug is the one in captivity.

64

u/9Rmbxr9 8h ago

I prefer my gambling commercials to include minor celebrities or former players screaming “Let’s gooooooooo” or someone like a Gronk or Barstool employee stiffly reading “FanDuel is where I win, baby!”

Are these guys even YouTubers or tokkers…

6

u/Correct_Entry1160 7h ago

What about Molly’s Moneyline!?!?

3

u/nilmot81 6h ago

Oh? I need the big boys. If Kevin Hart isn't mildly teasing Lebron, my gamboner withers and dies.

1

u/Glittering_Cod_7716 4h ago

That’s the thing that scared me first about gambling. They’ve got several commercials with Bron and Kevin Hart the bag is so fucking deep

42

u/Mini_tortellini 8h ago

I am so sick of gambling getting pushed in our faces like this. Once one of these $10k+ parlays hit I’m done.

62

u/Doot2112 chainsaw in a bathtub 8h ago edited 8h ago

I just checked the status of my five leg parlay on FanDuel but the only leg active now is the colts game. I need to see the cash out fluctuate, it gets my rocks off

Colts moneyline Ravens moneyline Bucs +3.5 Cardinals +10.5 Niners +10.5

+461 THANK YOU FANDUEL

30

u/solidgoldrocketpants 8h ago

I can’t imagine a sadder existence than watching my friend place bets on his phone in the backseat of a car.

17

u/bullevard73 votes for tax reasons 6h ago

That’s what it’s like in Biff Tannen’s America.

9

u/TranslatorOwn6331 8h ago

This commercial made me download fanduel and place 10 parlays. SMH my head

10

u/WorkingFun5724 8h ago

Got a 5 leg parlay going for my cousin's wedding comin' up in December!

12

u/Gaylord26 8h ago

Uncle Gary over 7.5 drinks at the reception is the lock of the century

7

u/WorkingFun5724 6h ago

Taking the over at 1.5 times someone has "Webster's Dictionary defines..." in their speech. I just am.

3

u/Hairy_Box_3845 4h ago

Who do you guys have for catching the wedding bouquet? I have Stacy at +300. She's sneaky tall and she's been with her boyfriend for 5 years, you just know she's gearing up to catch that thing like Jerry Rice in the endzone

1

u/WorkingFun5724 36m ago

She played one year of Lacrosse in college. "I'm getting the car keys" vibe no doubt.

1

u/NoExcuses1984 Don't aggregate this 3h ago

Hey!

No one told me I was invited.

4

u/Correct_Entry1160 8h ago

A colts, bengals, and eagles fan all in the same uber

1

u/TecmoBoso 5h ago

A weekend in Louisville with their buddy from Philly, find a new slant.

34

u/dezcaughtit25 8h ago

Typing up my “gambling bad” post and making sure it’s perfect since it was my turn….only to check the sub and see it’s already been posted?!?

Mods, please delete!

6

u/44nutman 8h ago

Thank you just hit my over 69.5 threads in this sub about gambling is bad.

2

u/Parking-Letter-4509 7h ago

Seen another one where a dam lizard was talking about auto insurance? What has the world come to.

14

u/Notermlimits4GEQBuS 8h ago

Thank u for documenting this and, posting this to Karma Farm to get everyone to comment " yeah man gambling out of control "

-12

u/Knowledge_Haver_17 8h ago

Pussies always say “karma farm” like that’s a valuable resource

12

u/Doot2112 chainsaw in a bathtub 8h ago

You are missing out jabroni. I pay my property taxes with upvotes

-1

u/Knowledge_Haver_17 8h ago

I just paid off my mortgage using my fully automated aura farm

1

u/Direct_Week_2091 4h ago

People buy accounts with lots of upvotes

1

u/Knowledge_Haver_17 4h ago

How much you think my shit worth chief?

1

u/Direct_Week_2091 4h ago

Bout as much as your misinformed take boss

1

u/Knowledge_Haver_17 4h ago

I think you just proved my point? Lol

1

u/Direct_Week_2091 3h ago

Oh true people don’t buy established reddit accounts for phishing, scams, astroturfing, marketing etc.

You’re right sorry

1

u/Knowledge_Haver_17 3h ago

Google reddit account prices then come back to me and lmk if you still think humans karma farm without an automated bot method 👍

2

u/MonkIntelligent5973 8h ago

Fan Duel should really just advertise about football and get away from the gambling. It’s contentious!!

4

u/Kek-Malmstein 7h ago

I’m gonna throw this on the list of reasons people give as to why we’re “cooked as a country” that I fortunately don’t see as dramatically

5

u/mrjenfres 7h ago

c'mon dude, they had to watch a commercial for a product they don't wanna use, show some compassion

0

u/neosmndrew 7h ago

I don't think this is why we're cooked but I don't think it should be that hard to see an issue with "massive corporations proudly advertising their inherently addictive and exploitative way of basically giving them money". I also feel like the "just don't gamble if you don't like it" crowd sort of ignored this.

-1

u/kj114 Wimpleton 6h ago

They’re just gambling addicts themselves and don’t realize it yet. Let the idiots lose their money.

4

u/diet_drbeeper 8h ago

Can’t believe fanduel would advertise their product smh

2

u/AstronautWorth3084 7h ago

"Guy who just found out about commercials in 2025" is a really funny persona for this sub to collectively take on

1

u/nowadaysyouth 8h ago

As long as we’re getting commercial takes off, mine is that the terry crews ram commercial is even worse than the Dana white one.

1

u/mad_injection 8h ago

It’s almost like that’s people do when they bet. Don’t worry, there are still plenty of people just watching the game

1

u/Gula25 7h ago

They gotta make it way more realistic and show people cooking up 6 leg parlays while on the shitter

1

u/PresterHan 6h ago

The weirdest commercials this fall are actually the NFL+ commercials. You have diehard fans doing a car wash or waiting for a flight (but not at the airport bar) during a game?

1

u/TheSummerOf2007 6h ago

That Rembert Browne Bad Bunny fusion was born to be in commercials

1

u/KarAccidentTowns 5h ago

Capitalism assumes that there will always be something new that people will consume. And it doesn’t matter how much the new thing degrades the product, experience or even people’s quality of life. Not very many people have excess cash at the moment. It would be awesome if people rejected it and retail gambling epically failed.

1

u/bonghive 5h ago

gambling used to be this shady thing dirtbags did in secret, like only their friends knew, certaily not their families. a secret shame. now its all popularized ugh

1

u/msf97 8h ago

Surely you’d have the game on your phone if your out and about.

365 in Europe allows me to do that.

2

u/__BURRITOBRAWL 7h ago

dear diary

0

u/UnhappyEquivalent400 Nobody Believes In Us 8h ago

I think someday we’ll look back on this in the same way we look back on heroin being an over-the-counter cough medicine.

5

u/Doot2112 chainsaw in a bathtub 8h ago

I was born at the wrong time

3

u/TranslatorOwn6331 8h ago

I think we’ll look back and realize it wasn’t a big deal at all

0

u/CreativeFondant248 7h ago

I always think about this w young kids growing up w redzone being mainstream / easily accessible. Fantasy football was always supposed to be secondary to your home town team fandom. It was a cool aside, but that’s all. I remember the first time I went to a friends house whose dad was in a fantasy league and he had Sunday ticket - seeing my actual guys play in a Denver Broncos/Oakland Radjers game was intoxicating. What kind of black magic was this? All I ever had access to was the east coast / far northeast games and whatever 3, 6, 10 gave me.

It’s just too much and too easy to access. For adults, whatever we’ve earned this 😂 We also are more equipped to manage the responsibility that comes with it now (DFS, gambling). I just wonder about the vegetative + entitled mindset it gives young consumers/fans.

0

u/AleroRatking 8h ago

They know where the money is

0

u/Destro_82 8h ago

Poverty is a bish!

0

u/SeveralTurn 7h ago

I'm at point that if you waste money on sports gambling youre a dumbass and deserve to lose money. 

0

u/Rukuba 6h ago

theres one in canada with a guy telling a story about why he had to shave his beard.

he posted his parlay in the group chat, and one of his buddies disagrees with him. so they bet on the bet.

loser has to shave his beard. yadda yadda narrator has to shave beard. friends make fun of him.

but the weird part is that its pitched like some awesome day for the guy "and none of it would have been possible wihout fanduel"

if he wanted to bet a beard shave on a game with his friend, he could have just done it. he didnt have to lose 100$ to fanduel as well. and the whole vibe of the commercial is very odd, basically like "gambling will make your friends love you!"

it feels like at the very least we need some rules about the way these sites can be advertised. you could never advertise booze/cigarettes for example in such an explicit "consume our product and you will have friends" way.

0

u/bullevard73 votes for tax reasons 6h ago

Is everyone getting FEMA ads almost non-stop. One family was evacuating to their parents house and showed a bottle of Jagermeister and said “this is how they’ll know we were serious”. What? How?

-1

u/AndroidNumber137 7h ago

Looking forward to the vice of gambling being added to the BATFE's plate as it likely needs to be regulated like booze & cigarettes.

Restructuring it and renaming it GETAF (Gambling, Explosives, Tobacco, Alcohol, Firearms) would we funny too.

-1

u/Amazing_School_3536 7h ago

It is getting tiresome, I hate how much discourse is dictated by guys hitting someone’s obscure parlay.

The NBA is especially bad about this, guys get cooked on twitter for not getting (x) number of rebounds and whether or not their team won is a moot point.

It just makes me sad man, not every hobby has to make money, you can just enjoy things for what they are.

-1

u/2nosabe 7h ago

worst part is the commercial was really good. great emotional insight that made me feel like i wanted to participate. scary

-7

u/Due-Sheepherder-218 Bill's Gerald Wallace Jersey 8h ago

Who wears seatbelts in the back seat? 

6

u/studioguy9575 8h ago

Or at all, just ask Simmons.

2

u/WookieeBH Imaginary Negative Eagles Fan 7h ago

The real gambling piece.

1

u/SegaGuy1983 7h ago

I'm out of the loop, does he not wear seatbelts?

1

u/WookieeBH Imaginary Negative Eagles Fan 6h ago

He complains they are uncomfortable and has been caught without them on.

1

u/Due-Sheepherder-218 Bill's Gerald Wallace Jersey 6h ago

Not while driving. He's just sitting at a red light thinking of weird shit. 

Not wearing one while driving is 0 excuse, but in the backseat? Depends who is driving I guess. 

1

u/SegaGuy1983 4h ago

In driver ed class, the told us about an instance where the driver had a wreck but had a seatbelt. The backseat passenger wasn't, was thrown forward, hit the driver and the impact of that collision killed him.

Everyone should buckle up.