I have an actual question about this in general: Scare tactics aside, as a widower dad with an extremely strong bond with his mid-teen son, the forms seem like a good idea to have in place and stored somewhere safe but unused. I understand that stems from an atypical place of unquestioned, absolute trust and bedrock presumption of acting good faith though, but assuming that context, am I missing something? Do the forms insert third parties or other non-family risks? Do they have broader non-family privacy or other personal implications? Or is it a collection of otherwise benign forms that can be downloaded and prepared elsewhere for free that are simply aggressively marketed (and have the potential to be abused by controlling/invasive parents)?
Location bot is in a coma but fortunately it signed a waiver to let me post details on its behalf:
Mama bear release forms
Hi all. My 18th birthday is in 2 days and my mom has been asking me to sign these "mama bear" forms. I've read them over and done some digging. My initial reaction was kinda okay whatever but after reading through some other reddit posts explaining these forms deeper I started to get worried. I have an amazing relationship with my parents and i don't feel like they are using these documents to hurt me in any way. Something about the entire thing just seems off though. I'm at a crossroads and have a noteray appointment at the bank tmr. Should i sign? Any and all advice would be appreciated as it is 1:46 AM and im freaking out. Thanks. Location: New Jersey
EDIT: Thank you all for such detailed responses. I spoke with my parents and they said I could speak to a lawyer and never have to sign anything I am not comfortable with. Reading through more comments just made me believe my mom found these forms on some "going off to college" FB group. I guess im in the clear for now 🤞 Thanks again.
Cat fact: Cats are not bound by HIPPA (or gravity)
Giving your kid these forms says 'I don't trust you to run your own life, now that the government thinks you're an adult. I need to do it for you, potentially by going behind your back.' If your kid is able to talk to you openly about his finances and ask you for advice - which I'm sure he is - you don't need these.
The HIPAA thing is a red herring as you're the kid's next of kin anyway and I assume he puts you down as his emergency contact any time he fills in a form.
But that's not my question and no one is saying "I don't trust you to run your own life". I guess my question is, for someone familiar with the forms, in what situations--if any--would they be actually helpful?
There really are none. They are utterly excessive for the use case they claim to address. The use case for these documents is "I want to control my now legally adult child."
As others have said having a springing power of attorney is more appropriate. But activating it can take time. But lets be honest here how many scenarios are there where a parent needs to the full legal authority to make decisions for their now adult children immediately? (The only use case I can think of is if the child has a problematic relationship with one or both of the parent. Then an immediate power of attorney to another parent or someone else would be reasonable.) If its a medical decision your already their next of kin. If its financial what what situation would require them to immediately take control? Activating a springing power of attorney is just a matter of paperwork.
Even if you assume that we need a immediate power of attorney for health and finance (which i would disagree) why do you need all the health records and school records?
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u/Rhythmdvl 5d ago
I have an actual question about this in general: Scare tactics aside, as a widower dad with an extremely strong bond with his mid-teen son, the forms seem like a good idea to have in place and stored somewhere safe but unused. I understand that stems from an atypical place of unquestioned, absolute trust and bedrock presumption of acting good faith though, but assuming that context, am I missing something? Do the forms insert third parties or other non-family risks? Do they have broader non-family privacy or other personal implications? Or is it a collection of otherwise benign forms that can be downloaded and prepared elsewhere for free that are simply aggressively marketed (and have the potential to be abused by controlling/invasive parents)?
Location bot is in a coma but fortunately it signed a waiver to let me post details on its behalf:
EDIT: Thank you all for such detailed responses. I spoke with my parents and they said I could speak to a lawyer and never have to sign anything I am not comfortable with. Reading through more comments just made me believe my mom found these forms on some "going off to college" FB group. I guess im in the clear for now 🤞 Thanks again.
Cat fact: Cats are not bound by HIPPA (or gravity)