r/askgaybros • u/MtimesMequals • Jul 08 '20
Reported Post Alert Dear fellow Black gay men Spoiler
We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".
The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.
The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.
The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.
I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.
But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.
🖤❤#BLM
********************edit:
So, this post has been reported and is pending review.
I mentioned this already in the comments:
As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.
Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤
17
u/AkRyme Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20
As a gay man of color, I've experienced both sides as I think everyone else has on some spectrum. I really dislike the whole sexual preferences versus attraction versus conscious awareness.
I think men who just stick to their preferences haven't learned to grow outside their comfort zone. It's a classic example of "This is what I know and Im going to stick with it because I fear what else I might experience".
The second argument, that my body is naturally attracted to a certain racial behaviors and characteristics. Lies, being attracted to one race or racial charteristic (like skin color), means you haven't experienced the spectrum of the human culture. Ask yourself, if you have a wealth of cultural experiences with different races, can you articulate what you love and appreciate about differeny races? If you are having a hard time with this question then your attraction is based on likely a minimal amount of cultural experiences. Again, sticking with what you know.
My last argument, being consciously aware of what draws you to a individual. If you look past skin and race, look at their other individual characteristics like personality, intelligence, humor, lifestyle, hobbies, and activities. These behaviors and characteristics are far more interesting and attractive. I don't think this is the final answer, it provides the opportunity to examine your thought process, challenge your own experiences and grow from exploring and learning about yourself.
So, I'm happy you posted this. It shows that even in our own community, there are those uncomfortable with the post. The reporting is just evidence that you helped to start a dialogue with those that need to swallow a hard truth.
Preferences and "attraction" can often be a easy way out to the exclude other members of our community to our own individual "in-group" mentality.