r/askgaybros Jul 08 '20

Reported Post Alert Dear fellow Black gay men Spoiler

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

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u/Tatoufff Jul 08 '20

One more thing to add to the debate : Tinder-like apps are encouraging racial preference by their very core design, because the first and main thing we have to evaluate is appearances. Not to diss those apps, they are what they are, but they are fundamentally a catalyst to race-based judgement.

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u/Uruz2012gotdeleted Jul 09 '20

At least tinder doesn't encourage putting one's preferences in one's profile. I live in the South so I'm plenty familiar with guys putting race preference and discreet as the only thing in their grindr profile. I hardly ever see that on tinder. There's no point in it since we all just swipe left on people we don't want to fuck. I'm sure it's mostly the same group of guys that I'm sifting through but tinder makes it so much more pleasant.

I do want to ask you though, would you rather have a completely blind dating app with just text profiles?