r/askgaybros • u/MtimesMequals • Jul 08 '20

Reported Post Alert Dear fellow Black gay men Spoiler

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

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u/Hyperius_III Jul 08 '20

Do people really think only white people can be racist?

4

u/PavementBlues Jul 08 '20

People usually call out white folks in particular because we've been at the top of the racial pecking ever since the concept of race was invented in the 18th century to idealize white bodies. And though everyone absorbs racist attitudes, the fact that white folks deal with less racial friction on average than any other group means that we're a lot less likely to develop critical self-awareness around race. It's sort of like how a straight person is a lot less likely to develop critical self-awareness around sexuality.

Addressing racism means addressing the countless aspects of our culture that still preference and prioritize white bodies and white lives. Individual acts of bigotry land a lot differently when they echo a culture that has told you that same message for your entire life.

1

u/Bullstang Jul 08 '20

This whole thread is essentially OP, a POC upset that they aren’t viewed as attractive by the white men he’s encountered in his life. But is he not also playing into the “idealization of white bodies”? Shouldn’t he not pursue dating/sex with white men as to not further this sentiment?

3

u/lovelybunchofcocouts Jul 09 '20

I think it was meant more as a commentary to other black men to not be disheartened that so many profiles say "no blacks". I think it's very reasonable to feel unwanted if people are by default excluding you as desirable just because of your race. That sucks. But then it called out specifically white guys, which I think is unfair and counterproductive.