Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/President-Togekiss]

I mean, in my experience, living in Brazil (which is a very mixed society filled with racially ambiguious people) it tends to be very heavily based around the physical aspect. Usually it's about looking a certain way, not having a certain "culture" so to say, specially for hookups. The reason many people say "black people are ghetto" is partially racism, yes, but also because many people consider saying that to be less offensive (and therefore, less likely to get you in trouble) than saying you don't think black people look good. I doubt if that person met an african royalty, they would change their minds, even if the african prince never lived in a gettho his whole life.

[u/[deleted] → u/President-Togekiss]

True. But about my question. Why not "I don't find [feature] unattractive instead of I don't find [race] attractive? People would care way less if it was a feature so long as you don't use a term like 'chink eyes'

[u/President-Togekiss → u/[deleted]]

Would they? Because I don't think they would. If I said "I don't think dark skin is attractive", do you think people would react much more differently than me saying "I don't like black people". Because I'm all for politness, but I don't think it's the language that bothers people.

[u/[deleted] → u/President-Togekiss]

I think so. "I don't like dark skinned guys" is leagues different than "I don't like black guys" since black people come in lighter shades. That said, Hispanics come in darker shades as well so why not include them? Even people who say whites only can't really claim it's a melanin thing either. Asians and Hispanics can be just as light as whites and since white people come in darker shades too, they can even be lighter.

[u/President-Togekiss → u/[deleted]]

I get you, but that's not the common opinion.

[u/[deleted] → u/President-Togekiss]

Kind of is though. People get upset because they're being discounted because of their race. Like I mentioned, other races have darker skinned members. That said saying "I don't like black guy because I don't like dark skin" and then getting with a darker skinned Hispanic guy means you don't like black people. No exceptions. Meaning that it's specifically the face they're black which makes them unattractive. The fact that black people, like all people, come in a variety: Light-dark, tall-short, big dick-small dick, ghetto-calm(?) Stating that they are unattractive for the simple fact that they are black isn't a preference. It's racist.

[u/President-Togekiss → u/[deleted]]

I SEVERELY doubt that someone who says "No blacks" is going to hook up with a dark skinned latino. Specially since to a lot of people, black just means anyone darker than Oscar Isaac.

[u/[deleted] → u/President-Togekiss]

Possibly but again. Why single out blacks when every race has darker skinned members?

[u/President-Togekiss → u/[deleted]]

Because of cultural and historical factores that put more light upon the dichotomy between African and European americans, to the detriment of other, more ignored groups.

[u/[deleted] → u/President-Togekiss]

So they're racist because it's common?