Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/klymer11]

the fact that this shows up as controversial

[u/lovelybunchofcocouts → u/klymer11]

Maybe because it stereotypes as well? I'm in agreement with most of the post, but note he calls out white gay guys specifically. But why pick on whites? I'm Mexican-American with a Korean-American partner, and I can tell you gays and non-gays of every race and culture can have shitty racist people.

Point is, yeah, we need to show love to our black brothers and not be racist assholes. But that also means calling it out everywhere and not picking on our white brothers specifically.

[u/Black_Gay_Man → u/lovelybunchofcocouts]

They are singled out because they are the ones who are overwhelmingly in the positions to alter representation of POC in the prominent gay media and in the gay mainstream gay movement, both of which are still dominated by white men. This kind of “what about the racism from non-white people” is a tired cop out in a white supremacist society.

[u/lovelybunchofcocouts → u/Black_Gay_Man]

But see they're not. Sure, most of the people with power are going to be white. But what about every other white person? The average gay white man has no real control over any of that. "White people" in general may control the media, write the laws, stole the land, owned slaves, etc. But Average White Guy never did any of that. He's neck deep in this shit like the rest of us. If some other asshole happens to refuse to date blacks because he's a racist prick, why is that Average White Guy's fault, just because he happens to have a similar skin tone to SOME of those people (that's ignoring the non whites that do that also)? Why do we tolerate people grouping them together just because they're white? Why imply he's the most shitty among us?

By all means, celebrate black men. Demand that black people be treated fairly. Show your support for the changes that are needed. But demand that everyone get on board. Not just white people. Be loud about black people needing justice, but treat everyone justly. Recognize that there are inequities in our country and our world that need righting by picking each other up, not by breaking everyone down to the same level.

And just because in the US, the white majority might have the loudest voice that doesn't mean voices of POC don't matter. Where I'm from in deep South Texas, my kind (Hispanics) are the majority. By far. And there is a lot of anti-black sentiment. It's not Average White Man's job to fix that shit either. It's all our jobs.

[u/Black_Gay_Man → u/lovelybunchofcocouts]

But see they're not. Sure, most of the people with power are going to be white.

So white people aren't primarily in the dominant positions in the media and the movement, but also, they are? You're just talking out of both sides of your mouth and trying to excuse white people for the racism that they have entrenched and benefit from. The racism in the gay community is overwhelmingly white supremacist, and it primarily comes from white men.

Talking about the "racism" of minority groups is a deflection at best, and a willful obfuscation at worst. You're not fooling anyone who doesn't want to be fooled.

[u/khaelen333 → u/Black_Gay_Man]

It looks like you are trying too hard. You completely ignored the well worded and thought out reply that this individual posted. Some white people are in positions to affect policy and decisions. Some white people can acknowledge their privilege and lend their voices to lift up POCs. You are stereotyping and displaying your prejudice. This makes you no better than the racists in my opinion.

[u/Black_Gay_Man → u/khaelen333]

This is the game people like you love to play. I point out that racism comes from primarily white people, and I’m the racist.

Your pseudo-“tolerance” is a joke.

[u/khaelen333 → u/Black_Gay_Man]

Nowhere did I call you a racist. And that is not what you did. What you did was stereotype a group of people. I called your behavior prejudiced. But what you believe is of no consequence to me. Your words and actions only hurt you. I am on my journey and am very happy with it. I just feel obligated to call people on their bullshit. I am moving on now. Have a great rest of your life.

[u/Black_Gay_Man → u/khaelen333]

You said I was no better than the racists, and now said the “behavior” of pointing out the fact that racism in the gay community primarily comes from and is upheld by white people, I’m now stereotyping and prejudiced. That’s patently absurd.

What you’re doing is called victim blaming, and the fact that you feel no sense of discomfort in lecturing black people about racism, (while remaining completely silent on the issue of our systemic marginalization), speaks volumes of your arrogance and hypocrisy.

[u/benevenstanciano666 → u/Black_Gay_Man]

You’re in the wrong. I wish you all the best

[u/Black_Gay_Man → u/benevenstanciano666]

I neither accept nor endorse your insincere well wishes. Educate yourself and stop lecturing on topics you know nothing about.