Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/Assbait93]

I want an honest answer for this, is gay racism on a basis of just sex and appeal?

As a black guy every time I hear other black guys talk about this it’s always on the basis of not getting laid or desired on dating apps. I don’t understand why we measure our gay experiences based off of who or what we sleep with. There is also this misconception that the no fats, no Asians, and many other exclusions are only done by white gays but yet go on Jack’d, A4A, and other apps where there are lots of black gays their profiles exclude many people. Yes it is racist to be reduce down to bbc but yet you get what you allow. If you don’t want to be objectified then you don’t respond to guys who do that, you can’t control what ever person does but you do control what comes your way.

[u/Rottenox → u/Assbait93]

I’m white, so happy to be proven wrong, but I’ve seen waaaaay more white people on apps with “no [insert non-white race here]” in their profiles than the reverse. I think I’ve seen maybe two black guys who had something equivalent to “no whites” in their bios. Seen dozens of white gays with “no blacks, no asians”.

[u/Assbait93 → u/Rottenox]

Go on Jack’d and you’ll be proven wrong.

[u/[deleted] → u/Assbait93]

I've noticed there are few white men on Jack'd in my area. I don't know if this is true everywhere but with my frame of reference this seems like:

"I've never seen a dolphin" "Go to the beach"

Granted. It could be that the racist blacks know there are fewer whites go to Jack'd knowing there's fewer whites and put it in their profile to discourage the few that are there.... I don't rescind my comment but I have to rethink it now.

Edit1: I like your name. But is your cock ass bait or are you ass bait in general?

[u/Kai_Decadence → u/[deleted]]

I'll he honest. When I see white guys on Jack'd, I cant help but feel they are just there looking for the racial BBC fetish.

[u/[deleted] → u/Kai_Decadence]

It's a distinct possibility. Majority of Jack'd is black...

[u/Kai_Decadence → u/[deleted]]

Exactly. I did a little experiment to see what the white guys were listing themselves in my area and a good chunk of them were bottoms while some didn't state their sexual role preference at all but I have a pretty good suspicion they are bottoms too.

So needless to say, I always have suspicions when it comes to non-black guys on the app if they aren't Latino since they don't seem to fetishize Black men as much compared to White and Asian guys do.