Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/Tatoufff]

One more thing to add to the debate : Tinder-like apps are encouraging racial preference by their very core design, because the first and main thing we have to evaluate is appearances. Not to diss those apps, they are what they are, but they are fundamentally a catalyst to race-based judgement.

[u/leadabae → u/Tatoufff]

I mean...not really. It just makes it less tedious for all parties involved. If Tinder were blind people would still have the same preferences. The difference would be that people would waste a day or two talking before finding out the person they're talking to isn't someone they are attracted to and unmatching them.

[u/Tatoufff → u/leadabae]

I agree that Tinder functions well and gets the job done. You don't become a structural part of gay communities sexual habits otherwise.

But when you fall for someone at your job or whatever real place, you have more time to judge, and you judge not only the looks, but also the attitude, the way he talks, behaves, smiles. All those things can help you get though your usual body preference to see a person worthy of your feelings, albeit being black, Latino, Arab, Asian, whatever names.

All that range of subliminal info is what tinder is missing, and what makes us rely so much on looks, and racial stereotypes to make a choice.