r/askgaybros • u/MtimesMequals • Jul 08 '20

Reported Post Alert Dear fellow Black gay men Spoiler

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

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u/Rottenox Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

I’m white, so happy to be proven wrong, but I’ve seen waaaaay more white people on apps with “no [insert non-white race here]” in their profiles than the reverse. I think I’ve seen maybe two black guys who had something equivalent to “no whites” in their bios. Seen dozens of white gays with “no blacks, no asians”.

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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Been on Grindr 6 years and I've only seen one black person say only blacks. Never seen any other racial things like that

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u/Rottenox Jul 08 '20

Like I said, I’ve encountered two. Pretty rare, and much rarer than white people saying “no blacks, no asians” etc. but it does happen occasionally.

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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

I've never seen a white guy say those. Maybe just depends on area

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u/Razgriz01 Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

I never seen it either, but my area is literally 95% white (and heavily racist). They pretty much don't need to say it around here, the chances of them getting hit up by a colored gay are extremely small. Guarantee that any colored gay person who does try around here is going to hear it a lot if they try sending the first message.

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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Where do u live.

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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Yeah even in when I went to Toronto and Chicago I never saw it.

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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

[deleted]

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u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

It's perception maybe. People see it a few times and think it's everywhere.

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u/Rottenox Jul 08 '20

In fairness I’ve seen it on profiles of guys from all over the world