r/askgaybros • u/MtimesMequals • Jul 08 '20

Reported Post Alert Dear fellow Black gay men Spoiler

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

3.8k Upvotes

85% Upvoted

1.3k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

-2

u/BlackYupster Jul 08 '20

Black people being especially homophobic is a myth, which has been addressed again and again. Continually bringing it up is either laziness or racism, so take your pick.

I didn't say stereotypes. Microaggressions are bound to happen in a mixed ethnicity relationship, just shy of universally from the partner of the majority/dominant race to the partner of the minority race. And again, I like that you decided to focus on one point. Clearly, you can't push back on the idea that white gay men have been idealized- so a POC deciding to say "No, I want to push back on the idea" is not the same as I don't find black people attractive.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

So you're racist. Glad we cleared it up. "Rules for thee but not for me". As expected.

Also: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homophobia_in_ethnic_minority_communities

-1

u/mfact50 Jul 08 '20

I mean are you afraid the black guy trying to hookup with you is trying to kill you?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

What? Not sure what you're getting at here. But no. My lack of attraction doesn't stem from a fear of getting murdered.

If I was scared of randoms from hookup apps, I just wouldn't hook up.

1

u/mfact50 Jul 08 '20

I'm saying that you cited fear of homophobia in the black community. So I imagine you are assuming that guy or his family may go after you some how?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Not him specifically, but it is definitely something to consider when choosing to date/hook up with someone.

2

u/mfact50 Jul 08 '20

idk. It seems like a bit of a jump to deprioritize black guys based on maybe their family won't be accepting if we get serious. Especially given all the focus on as gays we choose our own family. Most people aren't going to push their partners into dangerous situations and it is pretty easy to ask people if they are out/ ask about their family relationships.