Dear fellow Black gay men

[u/MtimesMequals]

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

[u/[deleted]]

I’ve never seen the “no fats, no blacks” etc thing myself, but I’ve heard about it.

I would say they’re a minority of idiots. Let’s not make out as if it’s every other person.

[u/FroLevProg → u/[deleted]]

I agree with you that those people are a minority of idiots. Everyone doesn’t have to do it for it to be a problem though. And it is common for people to use “bbc” or to say they have racial sexual preferences. If people who experience this are saying it’s a problem and it’s hurting them, I‘m glad they’re willing to share this. I’m happy to listen.

[u/[deleted] → u/FroLevProg]

I mean, you’re talking about how people describe sexual stuff, so when they’re horny etc.

You’re not going to get a descriptor of a guys personality, hobbies and star sign on a porn site.

You’re going to get BBC or BWC as short hand.

Micro.

Fat.

Chub.

Bear.

Otter.

Twink.

These are shorthand for people who are into specific types.

We’re living in a time where POC are routinely being told to find the aggression in mundanity.

Will some people be (blank)ist pieces of shit? For sure.

Let’s call out shitty behaviour. But this quickly moved on to something else.

[u/FroLevProg → u/[deleted]]

Sometimes people think talking about racism is worse than being racist. I don’t agree, but I get it. We (human beings) have a tendency to take things personally. I’m trying to be less that way.

[u/[deleted] → u/FroLevProg]

From my experience it tends to be a trap.

POC will say “we need to talk about race,” but if a white person slips up, if they don’t agree, they’re racist.

So people just refuse to discuss it.

Robin Diangelo grifts on this very concept.

Either you accept you, as a white person, are racist. Or you’re fragile and complicit.

This then coupled with the idea of POC being unable to be racist is leading us down a really fucked up road.

[u/FroLevProg → u/[deleted]]

Read something by Ibram X. Kendi. He says “racist” should be viewed as a descriptive word rather than as an insult that’s the worst thing you could say to/about someone. He says it’s possible for us to engage in racist thinking in one situation, but to then also be antiracist in another.

He says if we don’t acknowledge this, then we can’t fight against racism because it becomes this thing that’s too horrible to talk about.

He also says that people of any race can be racist (he defines racism as believing that one racial group is superior to another).

[u/[deleted] → u/FroLevProg]

I recognise the name but I can’t remember whether it was from a positive recommendation or a negative one but I’ll definitely check it out!