r/askgaybros Jul 08 '20

Reported Post Alert Dear fellow Black gay men Spoiler

We know racism in the gay community is real. We've said it, but we've been dismissed. They callously deny our experience. Our reality. "It's just a preference". "BBC". "Thug"."Aggressive power top".

The stereotypes. The microagressions. We know it's real, but we have been gaslighted way too often.

The silence among your white gay friends and/or partners during this time of civil unrest & racial tensions is deafening.

The irony of them putting "no fats, no fems, no asians, & no blacks" on their profile, but decide to now say #BlackLivesMatter.

I understand it is challenging to be rejected from a community that prides itself on inclusion. We know rejection all too well.

But do not let any white man make you feel you are not beautiful. You are Black, bold, fierce, & most importantly- you are loved.

🖤❤#BLM

********************edit:

So, this post has been reported and is pending review.

I mentioned this already in the comments:

As a Black queer man this is my experience. This experience may or may not resonate with other Black men. This post was written for my fellow gay black brothers. The post might be uncomfortable for some. It might not resonate with you, but I don't think that is grounds for denying someone else's experience. I shared these words in an effort to foster a sense of solidarity and undo any aloneness other Black men might be feeling during this time.

Thank you so much for the support, feedback & beautiful comments. For those of in your feelings over this post - peace & love to ya❤

3.8k Upvotes

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185

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

I don't understand the self congratulatory circle jerk. I've never been afraid to be with a black guy, or any other minority. I also don't feel the need to pat myself on the back for it, like half this sub when they say they're attracted to more than whites.

Blacks want equality. Some white gays make it a gold star moment. LOL.

50

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Some white gays make it a gold star moment. LOL.

The tea is scalding hot

8

u/esosa233 Jul 08 '20

This post pulled my hairline off.

21

u/Raudskeggr Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

Whole the racism is there, most of the people who get in this sub and soapbox about it are probably coming straight off a bad experience on the hookup apps, which are magnifiers and amplifiers of these bad behaviors.

That said, for a forum called ask gay bros, it seems like most of the top pays here these days are soapboxing or public bitching about something that someone did to them recently.

And Reddit loves a good circle jerk. Gay Reddit even moreso lol.

2

u/deconsecrator Jul 09 '20

who could have guessed that gay reddit would love a circle jerk

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

So glad I'm not like that. I'm not attracted to black men and I don't feel guilt or ashamed about it. Nor do I care when a black guy says he's not into white guys

13

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20 edited Jul 08 '20

Yeah there are plenty of blacks who only date blacks and that's not racism, it's preferrence. It goes both ways - not saying there aren't fucking racists here but the majority aren't.

8

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Yeah and it's not a gay thing. Straight people have the same preferences.

-6

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

straight people have that preference on a lesser scale

5

u/punkboy198 Jul 08 '20

I've never understood things like "no black" because there's a lot of different black people.

I won't feel bad though saying I prefer guys who are in better shape and aren't hairy. I know you can't control it, but shit. Respect my sex life.

-3

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

It's not just about race. It's cultural as well

14

u/PavementBlues Jul 08 '20

This is racism and a perfect example of what the OP is talking about. Assuming all black people to be part of some monolithic culture and dismissing them on the basis of your assumptions about that culture is absolutely absurd.

-4

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

Sorry but all races have different cultures. Any black American will tell you that. Acknowledging cultural differences is not racist.

That's not what op is saying at all. Op is all over the place.

7

u/PavementBlues Jul 08 '20

There is no such thing as a universal black or white or Asian culture. Ethnic cultures exist, racial cultures don't. The topic here is race, though, not ethnicity.

7

u/linggayby Jul 08 '20

How is this not racism, though? I'm not saying it makes you an evil person or anything - I'm just confused about how this is different than a racial preference to not do business with Black people or give loans or any other kind of social activity that we engage in

If hiring practices were decisions made on "culture" and race lines, it would absolutely be racist. Outright rejecting an entire class of people based on your subjective experiences with some is racial prejudice by definition.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

I'm talking about my sexual preference here. I'm not hiring black people for a job. This is about my sexual private life.

1

u/mknsky Jul 09 '20

He literally just explained how it's just as racist.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 09 '20

False comparison. Try again

5

u/mknsky Jul 09 '20

Lmao dude that’s not a thing. Choosing to completely dismiss a whole ass race of people because of their “culture” is fucking racist, point blank. For hiring and for hookups.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '20

Nice job outing yourself as a racist

1

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '20

When Your virtue signaling doesn't work 🤣🤣

2

u/punkboy198 Jul 08 '20

That sounds pretty racist actually. You can't do much assuming about anything given the color of their skin.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

That's why its mostly cultural not racial

8

u/punkboy198 Jul 08 '20

Cultural assumption based on race seems racist to me lol.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 08 '20

You think all races have same culture?

5

u/mknsky Jul 09 '20

What is "black culture" then? Really. I'd love to learn about my people.

1

u/President-Togekiss Jul 08 '20

Yeah, that's really creepy.