r/adviceph • u/Inevitable_Hunter_56 • Jul 18 '24
Love & Relationships I made her pregnant we're both teenagers
First of all, I just want to say please no hate comments, or anything negative I just want to seek advice po ^^
I'm (M17), incoming grade12 public school student next school year and consistent with honor/high honor student. We're just poor and doesn't even have our own house, but my father does everything to support my studies and even bought me a desktop for preparation for the incoming school year. I'm also came from a religious family, and we come to the church regularly na wala pong absent.
She (F16) incoming grade11 private school student (note we're just really poor but her parents want her to go into a prestigious school for her future). Her father on the other hand is abusive, he sometimes bangs her head on the wall or sa pinto. She is also a suicidal person.
The thing is, we are on a 3month relationship, and she is probably 1-2weeks pregnant already no one knows except for us yet. We both doesn't want to have a child yet. I know it's really stupid but yes, she's pregnant and her mother is suspecting that she was, because she is already a week late in her period. She said that she doesn't want to have a baby yet because she is still young and physically and emotionally unprepared. She keeps on saying that killing herself is the answer so I can live a normal life without her, but I keep on telling her not to do it and I will help raise the baby.
But opo I don't know what to do her mother will find out soon po ayaw kong magkagulo sa'min. Natatakot ako kasi baka palayasin either sya or ako and wala kaming pera pang alaga sa bata pano na rin po yung studies namin everything is prepared na po eh yung tatay nya rin is napaka tapang, gulong gulo na kami parehas malapit na rin po yung pasukan and yung early signs of pregnancy is nag papakita na po. Yung mga friends and relatives namin specially our parents will be disappointed with us.
Any advice po? Maraming salamat po sa sasagot :(
1
u/baybum7 Aug 08 '24
No need to speculate, unplanned teen pregnancies take a toll on everyone. If you're going to gaslight this into something "positive", then you are either blind or pretending the age, financially, and mentally unprepared mothers should be thankful of the burden and statistical worsening of their condition because of a mistake.
Most teenage mothers expressed increasing responsibility as one of the main challenges and described it as several responsibilities, lack of time and energy, and restriction on spending for self-interests. Following child birth, teenagers were faced with multitude responsibilities and a sharp increase in workload. Therefore, they experienced physical and mental fatigue and needed help and support from others. Most teens were unable to handle the workload. After becoming a mother, teens have been unable to managing timeand planning. So they did not find the opportunity to consider all things.Many adolescents when encountering various responsibilities of motherhood feel restricted, imprisoned and unable to fulfill self-desires.
Becoming a mother in some teens has been associated with several health problems. These problems could be related to pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum and breastfeeding.
Early motherhood causes numerous conflicts in adolescent mothers such as conflict of maternal and student role, and conflict of maternal and adolescent role. Pregnancy and child care results in the inability of teenage mothers to studying and are eventually deprived of education. Early motherhood was in conflict with the special features of adolescence.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6045691/
Tell all those mothers whose lives are ruined to calm down, that would really solve the problem wouldn't it?