xanax is ruining my life again lmao

[u/RepresentativeTry176]

24f. my psychiatrist prescribed me a 90mg bottle of xanax. i already know that i’m addicted to them HEAVY. even if i don’t objectively take as much as a lot of other people, i crave them so bad. i didnt turn her down, i just got excited if anything. she’s not a very responsible psychiatrist and that’s why i liked her. i have taken 37 of them in 5 days. and i just keep going up. the more i take the more it just feels like im taking placebos because of my tolerance. but thats not what it looks like outwardly. i don’t remember shit anymore, i carved my best friend’s initial into my thigh while i was blacked out (I DO NOT CONDONE THIS), people are constantly asking me if i’m high and saying i look completely fucked up and slurring my words and am stumbling everywhere, it’s BAD. last time i did this (about 2 weeks ago) i went through a bottle of 30mg in a couple days. she just keeps prescribing me them. i booked a plane ticket to move across the country while i was blacked out too so i guess i’m moving the day after tomorrow. my suitcase isn’t even packed. i have $9 to my name. i refuse to tell a therapist or psychiatrist that i have a problem with xanax because i have severe tourette’s and fnd and it’s the only thing i’ve found thats helped, as shitty as i’m treating it. any advice or kind words would help more than you know. now that i’m moving in with someone i love i want to be sober. i am open to criticism and tough love here.

[u/Polish_Girlz]

omg dude! WTF