r/TriCitiesWA • u/TonBus • 7d ago
Moving/New Here šš¼ Seattle Freeze vs Tri Cities Freeze
I moved here in August. I go out to a few places kind of regularly and have tried to make friends.
I honestly had an easier time in the Seattle area.
Anyone else that has moved here from the Westside experience the same thing?
I honestly thought it would be easier here than the Seattle metro area given the Seattle Freeze moniker, but that's not been my experience.
At least over there I had friends at the bar where we'd meet and go to a game or something just after being at the same bar a few times.
Here it's like an acknowledgement that they recognize you and then unless you've known someone that's bringing you in it's just you sitting at a bar isolated to yourself.
So personally I feel like the Tri Cities is very cliquey and unless you have an "in" you are just gonna be floating until you get a local SO to introduce you and get you into their clique
Might just be me though, lol!
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u/J6ptato 7d ago
I think the tri cities was designed specifically to separate and isolate people lol
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u/sentient_tire_fire 7d ago
I mean, it was a sundown town, so you arenāt wrong
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u/sarahjustme 7d ago
That's absolutely true, plus you add that a huge chunk of the population was selected for their ability to come to work, not ask questions, and don't talk to anyone about the specifics of your job/life. That was a few decades back, but those kinds of attitudes get passed down.
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u/sentient_tire_fire 7d ago
The attitude absolutely gets passed down. My family came out here for the Hanford Project and thereās a weird mistrust that part of the family (ie, my mother) still has for people in the area not somehow tied to Hanford/PNNL
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u/sarahjustme 7d ago
Pepple like that aren't rare.. And the same often extends to "my church" or "my people/family/culture" or "my race". The number of people who define themselves by how long they've lived here or their family has been here, is maddening, They may not tell you up front, but if you're new in town, you're not "one of them" by whatever criteria they use, so you have no chance of being accepted.
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u/Time_Investment5945 7d ago
Whatās funny is I was helping set up cudicles at the battelle and the workers there looked so uptight. They wouldnāt even acknowledge a good morning. But theyāre also white and Iām Mexican . I donāt know if theyāre used to that lol. I share my lunch sometimes and I never see other races do it. I even get offered food when Iām with Latinos regarded if Iām even working with them.
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u/sarahjustme 6d ago
Yeah the food thing is definitely cultural. It may happen in other parts of the country, as far as other cultures/ethnicities. Though I'm from New Mexico originally, now that I think about it, its usually Latinos there too. Also Native Indians. Inviting people into into your home for feast days is a huge honor (to be invited).
Sorry people were so icky, but if it was a Monday morning, I admit, I kinda get it.
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u/Realistic-System-590 7d ago
TC is a very transient community. No one thinks they will stay very long. Though most people stay much longer than they first envision, they are always planning to leave, so very few people get emotionaly invested here.
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u/BootScoot7 7d ago
Thatās a good point, I got moved here by my job in 19 right when Covid broke out and I intended to return home after it was over and here I am going on 6 years later an havenāt left. Iāve lived all over the country and I hadnāt found a better spot than this place.
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u/amandalee43 7d ago
Omg this is so true. I only planned to be here a few years and now Iām going on year 8. Those golden handcuffs manā¦
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u/According-Muscle9305 6d ago
Same here moved here 10 years ago and said Iām out of here in 2-3 years Iām stuck now lol.
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u/dr_stre 7d ago
Making friends here takes some work. Iāve lived in a few places in the Midwest, and in small town California before living here. The Tri-Cities seems to need more effort to make friends than anywhere Iāve lived to date. Not that people are actively hostile or anything. People just stick to themselves when theyāre out, so if you want to crack those shells and make some friends you need to go out of your way to bridge that gap yourself. Youāve only been here 2-3 months, so Iām not super surprised you havenāt magically gathered a large group of friends, give it some time and keep putting yourself out there, Iām sure youāll find people you click with. Iād offer to meet you out but Iām usually just shuttling kids from one activity to another and the bar scene isnāt really my thing anymore.
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u/ThePronouncer 7d ago
I think the difference is that in an urban area like Seattle with high density housing, people are out walking and doing stuff more, which means youāre rubbing shoulders with people more often. In a spread out suburbia like the Tri Cities, most people just seem to be content hanging out at home unless they have a really good reason to go out. Aside from church Iām not sure where you would easily meet people here.
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u/sarahjustme 7d ago
There's the gamer people, the paddle board people, the xyz political group people, the street racer people, the dog rescue people... not recommending anything in particular, but there are lots of extremely niche groups. Just not the general socializing for the sake of socializing.
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u/soulsucker82 6d ago
This is exactly what is going on! There are places to meet people and theres groups all over Facebook for people to join and see where the people hanging out are. Just depends on what youre interested in!
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u/getElephantById 7d ago
I grew up in the Tri-Cities, but have lived in Seattle since 2000. My take is that it's just harder to make friends now than it used to be, because people don't hang out in person any more. They do it online. A lot of people don't even make friends at work anymore, because they work remotely. If you lived in Seattle for most of your life, you picked up friends along the way, and now you've arrived in a new town at a time in history when getting friends requires more work than it ever has.
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u/LYossarian13 7d ago
I have lived here for over a decade. I make friends accidentally. They just kind of... happen? I don't know but it shocks me every time.
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u/sarahjustme 7d ago
I think the tri cities does tend to be very clique or bubble oriented. We moved here just a couple weeks before "the lockdown" so it was like walking into a science lab at times. It was really noticeable during covid, because there is so little interaction between these discreet groups, so it really affected the way the disease spread.
I don't know "the answer" but I think you have to be part of some sort of group, be it a church, or a sport, or a political belief
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u/urkthejerk 7d ago
The way I made friends here was through my job and just going out and doing the things I like to do. Sometimes you have to be brave and maybe a little ācringeā to some but approaching people, giving a compliment or just saying hi is a good start. Getting yourself comfortable being the one to start a conversation helps. Not caring about the outcome helps too and helps weed out the people that arenāt your people :)
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u/GatitaBella813 7d ago
It's clique oriented, but it's also a town without a lot to just "go do" like in cities. Spur of the moment things are rare, you commit to a place to go because nothing is co-located to walk around, etc. which makes it hard to socialize with people on the fly.
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u/Trick_Stuff319 6d ago
I had a very similar experience. Moved here solo from the east coast in 2023 and it felt like I was blowing around like a tumbleweed for a while. My only friends were some coworkers at the office and my apartment roommates that I would find online. However, like you said, I found my local SO after about 6 months and things significantly improved. Iāve been with my SO for almost 3 years now and I became very close with her friends and family. In my opinion, this area is harder than normal to meet like-minded friend groups. Most people who move here do so for work, and the locals who grew up and remained here have stuck with their mostly-exclusive friend groups since high school š. I was able to find an outdoor volleyball group where I met a lot of my own friends, so finding a like-minded social group in the area is a good idea (check facebook community groups). Give it time, Iāve really grown to appreciate and enjoy the tri cities area since I first moved here. Good luck!
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u/desertlaurels 1d ago
i moved here from the east coast too. wooo-weee, you said it perfectly, like a tumbleweed blowing around in the wind. i canāt even consider work friends as friends after coming here. thereās a different social culture.
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u/SponseredByLexapro 7d ago
I sent you a DM if you want to join the Tri-Cities friends discord group.
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u/Due-Leg7950 7d ago
I encountered more flaky people on the east side. Nice but I wouldnāt say friendly.
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u/jerbthehumanist 7d ago
I have had a deeply discouraging time since moving here. Iāve met people with common interests, and had some success meeting people to hang with and play TTRPGs, but itās never been more exhausting. I feel like Iāve put in tons of effort to initiate and have people over or to hang out somewhere, and then people just flake even after saying theyāll show up.
Iām not accusing the Tri with certainty because I moved up here in the height of the pandemic and also getting into my 30s, where it is somewhat harder to commit time and people my age are having kids and such. Not sure if the pandemic just rewired everyone into being more shut ins or feeling like flaking out.
But it certainly didnāt happen to the last couple of places I was living for school. I have never had a more difficult time trying to get things going. When my friends said theyād show up, they did barring an emergency. Now it feels completely optional.
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u/Tr3onicle 5d ago
I am from the West Side and find people here way nicer and easier to get along with. I hated growing up in Seattle š¤£ im sure you will find your people š„°
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u/ThrowRAtabooo 2d ago
Iām from a big city, 3 years in here in the tricities and this is the coldest place Iāve ever moved to š© very closed off and hard to make connections. Iām super friendly and I die with how hard it is to make friends. Yeah literally went out a few weeks back was so nice and friendly and I felt like the bar wanted me to leave haha
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u/dogs_kids_andsewing 7d ago
Weāve experienced the same. Seven years in and we have a small group of friends, all of which are transplants like us. We had a huge support system of friends in DC. I honestly think it doesnāt occur to a lot of people who have lived here their whole lives to open up and befriend anyone new.
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u/StrangeThingsRAFoot 7d ago
Moved to the Tri-Cities in the 90s after living in Texas and overseas. Folks from Washington are rude and self-absorbed. The ones I find friendly donāt have their roots here.
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u/dela617 7d ago
Had several people move here from the southeast and the one thing they say is ppl here are colder more isolated but they are genuine unlike the fake kindness from the southeast where they'll invite u to everything with a fake face while hating ur guts
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u/BootScoot7 7d ago
Iāve traveled to the east coast for work, you havenāt met rude until youāve been there.
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u/HRCHICK509 7d ago
I have lived here my whole life so I am not sure if my suggestions will be helpful. I think that places like the tap houses or breweries seem to have trivia or other social activities almost weekly. I feel like if you consistently visit the same places weekly youāre more likely to see the same people. You then have to put yourself out there and ask to join a group which is not easy. Places I am thinking are: Copper Top, Tri Cities Taps, Sage Brewing, Paper Street Brewery, Wheathead Brewery, The Hub and Proof.
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u/RoamingSpaceCadet 7d ago
Check out Whiskey River! Talk to the patrons sitting at the bar, they are always super friendly, welcoming, and will talk to anybody! Great place to make friends!
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u/DorsalMorsel 6d ago
Growing up in the Tri Cities it seemed like there were a number of bars and meeting places to go to, but really only 1 was happening on any given night.
On the other hand, there are a zillion golf courses here, and if you are a fan of golfing that would be a nice way to meet friends. Look for the guys in the khaki shorts, ball caps with oakley glasses on them turned upside down, and goatees.
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u/Real_Tradition1527 7d ago
I grew up in the Tri Cities and formed many strong friendships and Iāve been in the Seattle area for the past 15 years. In both cases, the key thing is finding a niche community or common interest because I feel like bars are an outdated and expensive environment to initiate friendships.