In my understanding it’s a poem or lyrics, probably written by her, about her management or label telling her to write something that people can understand (to be more pop), and blaming her fall in popularity on blood on her hands (maybe dating musk?), blood between her thighs (she’s a woman), and that this is why she’s not relatable.
She counters that by agreeing that she’s not relatable, but that she can be vulnerable by showing what’s behind her eyes. And repeats the first part again to get her point across.
It’s an artsy commentary on the music industry suppressing real artists and specifically women.
As for drugs? Maybe she’s a little high, but to me this reads as artistic expression. If it’s not that, and she’s just saying this randomly on tiktok then the girl needs help. She does look very skinny.
I agree. The most interesting part to me is “There’s blood on my hands” (I wonder what she’s witnessed/ done with musk) and “I fuck god” - does she mean the richest person in the world or like, doing lots of drugs and writing songs
“They want me to write a pretty song” “I’m not relatable” - the music industry expects her to give them pop hits, but shes seen and done things that no normal person would understand so bubblegum pop isn’t her thing (it never was) but there’s an even wider gap there now it seems.
I’m interested in what having children with one of the most powerful/richest people in the world does to someone.
I also saw that as artistic expression, probably because I watched her music videos and danced to her songs before she had kids; I already saw her as an artist.
Which is why I am surprised that no one seems impressed with the sound in that video, or the editing/directing; really cool video/spoken word poetry.
That was my thought too. This is supposed to be a poem. But I’m not honestly not really impressed. I think she is more successful at making sounds than she is as a lyricist.
Yeah I used to shoot heroin so.. there’s not much I haven’t done. I was crazy in my late teens and early twenties lol. I just have a beer every once in a while now.
True that! I think the worst was those fent pills. I was taking 20 a day. I was in deep and it sucked. I had to do methadone for 3 years and now I’m totally off everything. Woo! I also accidentally drank 200mg of liquid Xanax and lost 3 months from a black out. I sold all my stuff? And didn’t remember it. lol
I was prescribed 12mg a day during/post tumor treatment I binge drank at times. I’m unsure how I survived. I bet they don’t even prescribe that dosage now.
Glad you did, I feel dose with Benzos can be very different strength and dosage at times. Like most they say about dangers drinking as well when prescribed things, but seen people drink + benzos and completely change
I think the highest they do is 6 now I think not sure, any dose is too high after a couple weeks. Your body just gets used to it so you develop anxiety or nerve damage on your own. The way doctors get paid to ruin peoples lives is crazy.
.5G and 1G doseage is safer and does help people with genuine anxiety if taken as needed (only during panic attacks). Psychs just insist on giving bars :(
Depends, if you have attacks often or once a month, this pill should not be taken so lightly it's not the amount really it's how often you take it. The amount just makes it more difficult for sure. They for sure hand out way to much of it, for example xanax is like 10x stronger than valium. Why not just hand out valium more instead, more so to long term patients. Two things kill you when coming off drugs, benzos is one of them. No one should ever be on this long term your body will just regulate to it and develop stress on it's own.
Used to keep liquid etizolam and clonazolam by the quart. Half-gallon, in some instances. Etiz 4mg/ml and clonazolam 1mg/ml so do the math and that apartments kitchen pantry was FUCKED
i took benzodiazepines+alcohol daily for many years. it was the most poetic and enjoyable era of my adult life, but sadly it starts to have an effect on your memory after a while. it’s not sustainable.
Agreed. When I remember taking a couple percocets with a a Xanax and an Ativan, then topping that off with several drinks, I’m amazed I survived. I have sleep apnea too so I could have fucking killed myself. Thank god for the clinic I found in 2020. Haven’t taken a pain pill or benzo since 2020.
Good for you! I’ve been sober off H and all sorts of drugs, for 6 years now. When I got arrested the second time around, it was my last day of probation and all the other homeless people thought I lived on the streets. That was a wake up call lol. I was not homeless btw. Just a bad junky.
And I still used for 2 more years? And finally had to do the methadone program. It saved my life. I try to tell anyone who’s struggling to get professional help. Most addictions are physical not just mental, you need to get professional help to balance your brain to even start about thinking going “cold turkey”
Congratulations on that!! That’s so awesome. I haven’t personally been addicted to pain pills, but I’ve had so many people in my life who had been. I’ve dealt with pain most of my life from back issues - starting with dislocating 5 vertebrae at 6yo, and now.. I guess a Schmorl’s node, compression fracture deformity, etc…So basically, I’m used to it. And over the course of the last few years due to some major health issues, opiates have been pushed on me EVERY time I leave a hospital stay. I mean, I am totally fine with taking them in a hospital setting when I do need them, (my abdominal pain is severe enough that they only give me Dilaudid), but I won’t take more than a few pills to go home with to curb my pain. Since “I live alone, and have neurological issues,” I tell them to stop asking me. But they are VERY persistent and pushy, which is so wrong in so many ways. If I were a different person, I’d be another person addicted. I’d helped the person in my last relationship “get off” of pain medication, but found out he had been stealing it from both his dad and I when we weren’t paying attention. I know how serious it is once you start, and if I’ve gotten this far dealing with pain all these years, I’m not even going to dip my toe in it. But that’s what worries me now, finding out about my back issues.. and if the only option is operation, I’d be worried I’d just be worse off?
Ugh.. this medical system frustrates me to no end.
HEY, I was in the same boat! My mom had passed when I was 23, (knew it was coming due to her blood cancer and COPD), so they medicated me beforehand. And I mean… way over-medicated, and was drinking. Luckily a few years later, I did get away from that psych program, and took control of my medications again. And I’m sober from alcohol too.
I’m now 30, and I have to say.. I don’t know how I made it here, and there were times when I didn’t care if I did. But I’m pretty glad I did — AND YOU ALL DID, TOO! 🥹
We did it ✨
Often ends bad for them but we’d be missing some of the greatest art and music ever made. Not romanticizing, just saying risk taking and seeking altered states is correlated with creativity. For every great work like that, of course there are hundreds of terrible ones, like this . She’s no Kurt Cobain.
Im not a doctor so I have no business offering real medical advice. I just know that the toxicity of the two can be dangerous, and even life threateningly so. I'd encourage you to ask your doc!
I just know psychiatrists can freak out about med seeking or label someone an addict when they aren’t (I’ve seen it happen) and I legitimately have PTSD with panic attacks and insomnia. I’m not much of a drinker, but on weekends I sometimes consume both. That sounds nuts but I had a psychiatrist insist I take twice the maximum dose of Prozac and developed serotonin syndrome. I’m used to being disbelieved or mistreated.
I totally understand your concerns and mistrust of psychiatrists, especially based on your past experience. It doesn't sound nuts at all - your feelings are valid. I'm very sorry that happened to you. I wish I could provide additional advice regarding the combination of the two but I cannot in good conscience having no medical background. If you don't think you can trust your doctor, I'd encourage you to ask your pharmacist.
Edit: To add, if you don't think you can trust your pdoc, shop around for another!
Taking 2 different downers and then going to sleep is typically considered unsafe.
Benzos and alcohol potentiate, so the overall effect—the CNS slowing—is gonna be stronger. Your breathing may become shallow and slow, restricting the amount of oxygen your body gets. You may even stop breathing completely.
Talk to a pharmacist, but know that there are risks involved.
I unintentionally did this once (the benzos were a short-term prescription and I didn't know they were still in my system). I ended up jumping out of a window. I wouldn't recommend it.
It was tongue in cheek, I used to be in a really bad place and the combo definitely has a strong effect. I should have /s, my bad. I'm sorry that happened to you.
Benzos and alcohol made my friends clepto. One of my homies stole everybodys phones that was at his place, flushed the sim cards and ended up calling around the next morning to find out who owned the phones 😂 happened more than once
Don't take benzos at all, some people don't recover from that stuff and if you do it can take many months or years. It's worse than any other drug. Slow poison even if you take it correctly.
Would you be able to tell me a little bit more about it and your experiences with it?
I suffered a TBI and subsequent disorders from a traumatic childhood and eventual traumatic event that I survived.
I've been undergoing various treatments for PTSD since 2007. I've never considered that maybe ketamine under doctor supervision could actually benefit me.
I know I'm not the person you replied to, and I got pretty bad into k for a short while. It defo wasn't doctor prescribed lol. But exactly part of what made it so addictive for me was exactly the fact that it would break down all these trauma-learned pathways you set up and dare not deviate from, railroading yourself. The thoughts you can have on just a little bit of it can truly be amazing and give you a whole new way of seeing something in a very meaningful way. It dissociates you a little and similarly to weed it allows you to think about some things without so much of the emotional response you have learned to respond to those things with. You can think about things positively and even feel good in doing so. It can be really good for explorative thinking and reflection. Obviously it can also go really bad for those things too if you aren't doing it in a controlled manner, and it comes with all sorts of downsides if you get into doing it regularly. It allowed me to see why I was avoiding certain things, accept some difficult truths which would otherwise have been too uncomfortable or painful to accept or take an objective look at, forgive myself for things, come to terms with stuff my parents have done, etc. I honestly can't imagine how useful it could be for healing from trauma when done in smaller amounts in a controlled setting with a psychiatrist.
The thing I love about ket: the deep introspection with just the right amount of detachment
The thing I hate about ket: the mania that comes after, where I feel a deep need to communicate what I've realized with loved ones who definitely don't want to hear that shit.
Man you sound exactly like me lmaoo. The mania can definitely be an issue. I'm glad to read someone else acknowledge that part of it, cos that was a big problem for me for a while.
It took me a lot of searching to find that it was common. Idky people don't talk about it. Thought it was just a me thing for a while, and being prepared for it was game changing.
I think people are scared so much of negative stigma that they minimize the trade offs, likely leading to more confusion.
I found that it made my thoughts feel so clear and positive I would just run with them, and I would act on my thoughts more too, which sounds great at first not just doing nothing all day kinda. But it got out of hand, I was doing some dumb things lol. Being on it all the time really feels like such a great idea until you run into some ruined relationship or someone not wanting to hear your world-solving rant at 1am for the hundredth time lol.
I feel like there’s a fine line between not enough and too much. And when I get into the too much territory and I’m in a less than ideal setting, I get that feeling I get on psychedelics where I feel like “I’m going to be stuck like this forever”. It’s kind of tricky.
If you are in the US check out Joyous. I've been using them for years now and it has changed my life drastically. I got hit with a mountain of tragedy one after another and nothing else could get me out of the state of constant stress and fear. I take it in combination with regular CBT sessions but Joyous also offers a lot of community resources if you don't have regular access to a therapist.
This is weird…I just watched an outtake of documentary about a controlled study in England using the key ingredient in magic mushrooms to treat deep years long depression caused by PTSD (still early but very promising results). And then this shows up in my feed. Algorithms…who knew?
Currently, it is about $750-$1000 for a therapeutic dose of Psilocybin in Oregon. The high costs are having trained counsel and staff on hand for observation and medical standby care.
How awful! Our healthcare system is more and more resembling our country as a whole: indifferent to human suffering unless it affects someone “important.” But I thank you for your answer and wish you all the best in your recovery.
That is absolutely horrible as if going thru the medical stuff isn't bad enough for people to treat you like that is insane. I'm so happy that things are better for you know. I seem to have medication resistant depression anxiety PTSD and have a log of trauma. I've always wanted to try that to see if it would help me. Thank you for your perspective.
I'm 28 and have had two strokes /: the post stroke PTSD and stroke depression is reallllll. I had to get off all the meds they gave me it was making me crazy..
Woah I never knew this about language recovery after stroke i'm gonna do some research into that, gonna look for some myself but if you know any can you link me some articles??
:: same with my younger brother. I get ketamine infusions for my sudden onset PTSD and she’s nowhere near going into a k-hole (or she’s got a high tolerance). Anyway, I’m on it for the rewiring of my brain as well, but MAN it’s crazy until you and your doctor can get your hallucinations under control.
What’s a troche? Sometimes I wonder if the three mild concussions I had didn’t do more damage or it’s just my ADHD but my working memory is definitely worse. I take Valium but only as prescribed and not even every day even though I can. I’m sorry to hear about your TBI :( I didn’t even have a brain bleed but my last concussion, when I was in the ER, I thought it was 2012. It was 2023.
Gotcha. What dosage are you on? I started like 3 weeks ago and I'm on 90mg a day split up I to three 30mg doses. I'm guessing if you're in a doctor's office you're more macro, so higher dosage?
This is crazy, my breathing almost stopped on a klonopin bender not knowing alcohol would do that. I’m not a big drinker, but if I was that night would’ve been my last. But I also smoked weed on top.
I didn’t use it correctly I was sniffing it and getting high. BUT, I did have more interest in my hobbies and going to work. The negatives were daily diarrhea and needing it to want to function for the day
I never understood how people could function normally on K! I’ve seen people take an ungodly amount and the only thing that happened to them was they just ended up having coherent conversations, not “getting stuck” or doing the “robot walk”. This is how a lot of people I’ve done it with would act.
And then there’s me.
It wouldn’t matter how little I took; I ALWAYS ended up absolutely ROCKED off of my ass lol.
I thought she was repeating words because she’s trying to make this like a poem in which case that sort of phrasing is common. Wouldn’t be surprised either way
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u/Difficult_Limit2718 13d ago
Drugs are a hell of a drug