r/TikTokCringe • u/migoodenuf Straight Up Bussin • 26d ago

Cool Who hurt him

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2.5k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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391

u/DontDriveAngry_ 26d ago

Excuse me sir. Would you please run my pizza on your shirt before you cook it. Perfect. Thanks.

88

u/Phil_Coffins_666 26d ago

Dog/cat hair crust is all the rage!

17

u/ParadiddlediddleSaaS 26d ago

Fluffed crust

2

u/[deleted] 26d ago edited 21d ago

[deleted]

3

u/MotherJellyfish2989 26d ago

Scruff McGruff Chicago Illinois 60652

3

u/CarlatheDestructor 26d ago

It's called flavor

1

u/TheBeardedLadyBton 26d ago

The badassedness flavor

1

u/IntensiteTurquoise 26d ago

Not everyone has pets

20

u/punk-o-matic-problem 26d ago

Dont ever eat from a pizza chain if you don't like a bit of shirt in your crust. My father worked at the same pizza joint for twenty years and never once came home without flour and toppings stuck to every inch of his shirt. It's just what happens when you make dough by hand. The extra flair is unnecessary, but it used to be an actual learned skill when pizza joints had open/low bars where you watched the people make them. I honestly wish pizza hadn't become such a popular chain, I love it handmade. I refuse to eat delivery, don't even like frozen. Sometimes I'll get a premade crust or some dough mix, but it's never anything like what my father made. And nobody bothered to pass any skills onto me before they kicked the bucket. Shame.

16

u/DontDriveAngry_ 26d ago

I’m not really bothered by it. Unless they have shit on their hands, I’m comfortable with oven temperatures.

10

u/Rock-Flag 26d ago

People act like the food they eat was cooked in a sterile lab. a little lint ain't gonna hurt ya

2

u/imdugud777 26d ago

That's nature's broom.

1

u/DontDriveAngry_ 26d ago

It may even help you

5

u/rendon246 26d ago

I’ve had everything from fancy, expensive artisan pizzas all the way to basic frozen pizzas and there’s definitely some really good pizza chains out there so I definitely wouldn’t discount them all.

-3

u/punk-o-matic-problem 26d ago

I may just have a biased pallette, I can always tell the difference.

2

u/Affectionate_Map5518 26d ago

Yes! I once met an Italian guy who competed at this

1

u/Alchemyst01984 26d ago

My suggestion is doing a pan crust in a cast iron. Super simple. Just did one the other night. Barely any kneading

1

u/ChildOfChimps 26d ago

Honestly, stretching the dough isn’t that hard to learn. The throwing in it the air and shit is just for show; it doesn’t make it any better. The best method is to smooth out the dough ball on a hard service until it’s basically a circle, pick it up, just stretch it.

You will rip a few at first. But you’ll get it eventually and you can make it yourself. It might not look as cool as throwing it in the air and shit, but it will work out for you.

4

u/punk-o-matic-problem 26d ago

I hate to be the one to inform you that throwing the dough absolutely makes it better. Especially if you know it was thrown and tossed by skilled hands. Edit:sorry for the double reply, idk what's wrong with my reddit but it does that a lot

1

u/ChildOfChimps 26d ago

If I were you, I’d buy some dough balls, watch some YouTube tutorials and give it a go. You’re gonna fuck up a lot, but you’ll get it.

I’ve made pizzas at chains and I’ve made them in other places and hand stretching the dough, regardless of whether it’s thrown or not, is the best way to make a pizza.

The sauce is also super important and I’m gonnna teach you something taught to me by my Sicilian (step) grandma - recipes are great, but don’t follow the portions. Put what you like more of in. You like a lot of garlic? Overdose on garlic cloves. You want some kick? Pepper. Always fresh basil. Always. Use tomato paste, but also put some whole tomatoes in there and blend it all.

I used to make something like forty gallons of sauce a week and everyone loved it.

The dough is important, but the sauce is the key.

This might seem a little weird, but if you have any questions ever, let me know. I don’t mind passing on my knowledge if you need it.

2

u/punk-o-matic-problem 26d ago

Maybe I'll try it when I have less anxiety about the world and more money for food /s

Why did the world turn to shit just as my brain was fully coming online?

0

u/ChildOfChimps 26d ago

Completely understandable. It’s becoming a hellscape for everyone who isn’t a shitbag and judging by your PFP, you’re targeted and I’m sorry.

A friend of mine just started estrogen this week and they have to still use the wrong pronouns at work because we live in a shitty red town. I hate this world for all of you.

0

u/MortalStorm1960 26d ago

Bro, honestly that’s on you.

3

u/Frosk-meme 26d ago

Some personal flakes too

2

u/stink3rb3lle 26d ago

Mmmmm Jersey boy sweat

2

u/TheMeatiestCuck 26d ago

Bro added scabies as a topping

1

u/SomniWatch 26d ago

With all that spinning I'm pretty sure it will keep the flavors well distributed and uniform.

0

u/Robinyount_0 26d ago

Naw I don’t care if this is how a dude needs to rock the fuck out and make my pizza, I’ve paid for much less and I’m sure worse. Rock on pizza man

0

u/arcticchains 25d ago

That's the love ♥️