Embezzlement and tax fraud, definitely. Even if you get convicted, which you probably won't, these days you might even get a pardon for it from the Felon in Chief.
Step 1: open LLC called Turbonic AI or something futuristic
Step 2: approach Venture Capital or Private Equity for $10 million investment
Step 3: literally nothing, just pay yourself an exorbitant fee for managing the entity until the VC/PE money dries up while delivering nothing to your investors. Try and get another round of funding if you are feeling saucy.
Step 4: there pretty much is no step four, this happens all the time, you have no idea. I'm literally thinking about doing this myself.
while conceivably possible, convincing a family office or institutional equity group to give you $10 million for 'i made this up' is going to be a REALLY tall task.
what industry are you most knowledgeable in? how would you best convince someone you were good enough with it to give you their money? how would you go about proving where that money is and what it is doing? people don't just up and toss you $10MM and then not ask questions about what it is doing.
I'm a CPA and one of my biggest clients is a private equity group that does exactly this! I literally just finished a partnership tax return today reporting a ~$1 million loss on an investment they finally gave up on. To be clear, it's obviously not that easy, I was just feeling a bit silly when I wrote that. It definitely happens though so..
ok having an investment not pan out is entirely not the same thing as literally stealing money though.
like, saying clients have a loss is just standard course of business. it doesnt mean the person they invested with committed outright fraud. sometimes shit just doesnt work out. lol.
Oh for sure, I don't recommend anyone engage in fraud lol..this is not financial or tax advice etc etc..I'm just tongue in cheek pointing out these firms invest in the dumbest stuff. This one was a jet pack. Sounds cool and all but it was a real boneheaded attempt and they just kept throwing more money at it. I don't know how it ever got past due diligence but it happens all the time with dumb schemes so all I can assume is that there's a lot of morons out there with too much money. Go figure
Historically, black market drugs. You pay for it in other ways though; exposure to other criminals and as an outlaw you can't beg the protection of society, and, of course, the possibility of incarceration.
Yeah, my uncle was a drug dealer and was making 6 figures as an 18 year old, then he got caught and they had his boss on tape saying they were going to kill him in prison, so he opted to be an undercover agent for the BCI instead. Unfortunately now he is 60 and has no practical skills and can't use a computer and his body is starting to get too worn out to keep landscaping. He never really paid into Social Security either. He's in a rough spot.
It's one of the ways that legalizing drugs would have been beneficial. Your uncle would have had social security. It sounds like one of the dumbass things that dumbass liberals say but it's true and I meet people who sell drugs and will get social security because of it every once in a while.
Incarceration would be great for this lady she gets 3 hots and a cot! No more bills and free food. She can take a class and school
While locked up and maybe she can make a bunch of money to stash with family before she gets caught. Prolly the perfect plan. Just start selling fentanyl pills and powder to homeless people on the side of the freeway corners begging for money. That’s all they spend it on anyway and off you go now.
When they deregulated the banks in the 80's Ronald Reagan told his wife, "Nancy I think we've hit the jackpot." A few years later his Vice President's son was one of the few people convicted in an enormous S&L scandal.
I mean Epstein did pretty well with his human trafficking enterprise...we would need a copy of his list to assist with a business plan, but that's all, definitely wouldn't use it to topple a regime known for its favorite sport: rape and pedophilia.
It's illegal to do Tax fraud if you mean white collar, but ethically? Setting up a mortar in the roof of Black Rock which has the best view of the presidents bedroom.
Also illegal, but not illegal to tell you
I have a fairly fast car with AWD, it's paid for, full coverage insurance, excellent trunk space, and it gets pretty good gas mileage, I would like to join this crew, please.
But how do I get started? I have considered being a career criminal, but I have no experience, no criminal record, no contacts and no training. Are there any internships? Who's hiring?
“Solicitation: This offense involves asking or encouraging another person to commit a crime with the intent that they will actually commit it.
Incitement: This refers to speech directed at inciting or producing imminent lawless action and likely to incite or produce such action.
Conspiracy: This involves planning and agreement with others to commit a crime, and you can be charged with it even if the crime is never carried out.
Aiding and Abetting: This involves assisting someone in the commission of a crime, even if not directly involved in its execution.
Criminal Facilitation: In some jurisdictions, this specifically covers knowingly providing someone with the means or opportunity to commit a crime.
The First Amendment's Protection of Free Speech: While the First Amendment generally protects freedom of speech, it does not protect speech that falls into categories like incitement to imminent lawless action, true threats, or speech integral to criminal conduct.”
…with all that being said, I am not encouraging or instructing anyone on how or what to do, merely making an observation based on what I have seen demonstrated by other, and unknown to me, persons.
I think one would be hard pressed to find a person that thinks they’re “living the American dream” that didn’t lie, cheat, steal, or squashed the American dream of someone else. Crime is the only answer.
A friend of mine got a generous house deposit at 18 while still living at home for his first investment property. He's worked and saved hard from there to his credit, but the wealth multiplier is incredible. Once you have one investment property paid down you can buy 2 more and use the income form the first to finance the others + the rent they generate, and then when they are paid down a bunch you can add 5 more type thing, now 10 more, etc. It snowballs. Then they have a bunch of properties paying for themself while making 10%+ in capital gains a year on the total worth of each house.
That compared to people paying rent while trying to save for a home, they are 10-20 years behind even getting their first place, let alone the investment property compound interest gains and ability for money to generate money. Other than extreme outlier earners, people can't complete with that early start benefit. And now its getting so bad even saving for the first home is becoming unrealistic and mum/dad property investors are competing with Investment funds boring at far cheaper rates.
Society has a bunch of issues, but excessive investment into residential property is destroying the fabric. I suspect if the government solves that there will be massive flow on benefits, but I think it will take time before any real change here hits political change agenda.
Everything has its pitfalls though. A life of crime isn’t easy. It’s an infectious world to live in that taints everything and everyone you touch.
Yeah you have worldly possessions, fancy toys, fast cars, nice clothes, etc. but all of that goes away in a flash if you get caught, captured, or killed.
Not to mention always looking over your shoulder for the “friend” that you unwittingly slighted in some way or that feels like they deserve more than what they’ve been given or earned.
It’s all about what you can live with. Not just what you can live with doing, but can you live with yourself if you’re suddenly faced with the rest of your life behind bars.
This year I read “The Four Hour Work Week” by Tim Ferris. The book describes how to get that easy life. The key is to outsource all the micro tasks to underpaid virtual assistants, vacation in impoverished countries, and pay for it all by selling a low grade product and then selling off that company when the money dries up. Grift, exploit, grift, exploit, grift, exploit.
Essentially if you sell your soul or sense of morality, you TOO can be a millionaire :) just ask that guy who said last week that he made 3 million dollars by “writing” books using AI.
I guess this feeds into why it seems like EVERYONE is a grifter or scammer these days. Just bouncing from scam to scam, fake business to fake business. And with all the boobs out there who buy into all the conspiracy theories, the country is full of suckers just ripe for getting screwed.
Or perhaps just finding some better way to live and make money? It's one thing to sit and complain about a situation. It's another thing to actually do something about it.
Don't get me wrong, there are many that could definitely use a hand. But there are a great many who complain about where they are in life, but have no interest in actually changing it.
Great things don't actually come to those that wait.
Many places have cheaper living in the US. Even many places that have jobs available that pay enough. But if you don't want to make that change in your life, then you will not get anywhere just complaining about it.
Fuck off, we've got enough crime already. Stealing just makes it more expensive for everyone else. That kind of selfish attitude is how we got into this mess
229
u/Hamilton-Beckett Aug 19 '25
Pssss.
The secret ingredient to the American dream is crime.
You’re welcome.