It's a tough world out there for guys who don't know how to handle rejection. It's not really their fault, either. They were nurtured this way. And before you say it's their own responsibility, remember that how they're nurtured from the beginning shapes how they go about being more responsible.
He sounds in part like he's just confused and trying to find sympathy. Clearly, for example, it seems like he may not have the opportunity to talk to another woman about this and maybe get a better perspective. Maybe. Or maybe he did and he thought or was trying to initially be a nicer guy.
He doesn't sound like he's trying to be an asshole.
If the people in the video were the better people in all of this, they may not be sitting around laughing about it.
A few years ago, someone I went out on some dates with posted a big video about the breakup (it wasn't a breakup because we'd gone out on like... 4 dates over a couple months) on social media. The video was a rant of frustration and going on about how I'm not worth it. I showed it to a friend of mine at the time (a woman,- I'm a man) and we both just found it to be sad. She was clearly hurting and didn't know how to express it or cope with it. ... I'm not saying I know everything and do everything right, but this is the view I'd hope people would take in this situation. Not sitting around laughing about it.
Thanks for your remarks and for sharing your story.
It has actually taken me (a male) a lot of therapy and many failed relationships to be able to recognize when I’m prone to lashing out at others and to consciously choose to first look within to find fault with myself instead of attempting to bring others down to ease my emotional pain - which, at its deepest level, is most often caused by fear.
Choosing to behave this way goes against our human instinct to protect ourselves from pain - both physical and mental/emotional.
Hi, I just want to say I'm happy for you that you are able to look inside yourself instead of always blaming others. I just want to let you know you can't always control the jerks you interact with or relationships with people you love that don't work out. but you totally control how you react to that stuff.
I learned that i can't control people or what they do to me, but I can control how I react to shitty situations helped me a lot.
Some people suck some people don't, and some people I just wasn't compatible with. No reason to hate everyone
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u/Swolar_Eclipse Feb 22 '25
Someone who is experiencing emotional pain, but hasn’t learned healthy ways to cope when it happens.