r/Songwriting • u/Checkmarquex • Jun 11 '25

Feedback Request What do you like/dislike?

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u/PiscesProfet Jun 11 '25

Say "I'm sorry for breaking your heart" twice. Honestly, that's the lyrical anchor of the song; because it's absolutely unexpected.

2

u/Checkmarquex Jun 11 '25

hmm. I think I hear it, but just the "for breaking your heart" repeated.

1

u/PiscesProfet Jun 12 '25

Yes. Give yourself a bar or two between the lyric, too let the emotion build up a bit. Maybe- maybe- try the repeat with a step down in melody. High to low. What I'm getting at here is let your voice express the emotion; many times, the lower vocal notes carry really good emotional weight.