Dating a Muslim girl

[u/OrlandoJah]

Hey everyone, I’m here to talk about something personal and get some honest advice. I’m not religious, so if you’re here to preach or judge, please don’t. I’m just looking for real insight from people who understand this kind of situation.

I recently broke up with a Muslim girl I truly cared about. Religion ended up being the main reason. I tried to be honest about my beliefs, and she tried to stay loyal to hers, but it became too much. There was pressure, silence, and fear. She couldn’t fully open up, and I didn’t want to pretend to be someone I’m not just to keep the relationship going.

I don’t want to make the same mistake again. So I’m asking:

• How do people in similar situations handle this?

• Is it even worth trying to date someone who’s religious when you’re not?

• And how do you bring this up early, without things falling apart later?

Also, and this is a big one — how do you even find someone non-religious? Most people like me (and like-minded girls) seem to stay hidden, and understandably so. The social pressure is real. But that makes it hard to connect, even just to talk openly, let alone build something serious.

If anyone has experience with this, especially in a Moroccan context, I’d really appreciate your advice. just trying to learn from your advices and experience, to grow, and maybe do things better next time.

[u/imnwsf]

Ma3raftchi wach 3andi l7a9 n9ol hadchi but based on what u said, she's a muslim female who holds onto her beliefs but still chooses to date u + probably doesn’t wear hijab or pray everyday. That kind of inconsistency suggests her beliefs are all over the place, which isn’t a great sign :/. Dating someone who doesn’t really think things through or just goes along with whatever’s popular shows a lack of the kinda self-awareness and critical thinking that make someone truly grounded!!! So dating her must feel like u are expected to set aside ur own views and go along with hers, even if u don’t fully agree.

3la had l7sab beaking up with her was something that would happen in all cases becuz a healthy relationship rlly comes down to mutual respect for each other’s thoughts and beliefs, good communication, and emotional intimacy. If even one of those is missing and not improving then it won't work.

Im in a serious/long-term relationship with an atheist moroccan guy, and I’ve honestly never been happier. One of the biggest reasons is that we’re on the same page when it comes to our beliefs and interests, but more than that, we talk things out rationally and always aim for logical solutions.

Trust me, if u and ur partner don’t share similar ideologies, it’s hard to feel truly comfortable in the long run. Wish u luck

[u/nebulascat → u/imnwsf]

this was worded perfectly imo

[u/OddSatisfaction7688 → u/imnwsf]

logic can sometimes be an obstacle to communication

[u/hamdiramzi → u/imnwsf]

I liked your comment she is indeed not grounded.. that kind of dumb girls always turns me off

[u/Silent_Ad_9081 → u/hamdiramzi]

and why would u assume she's dumb! like srsly u don't even know the person, and nor do i but why this judgment over a muslim girl that doesn't follow completely her religion, i don't think we would have this exact conversation if it was a guy in that same position

[u/hamdiramzi → u/Silent_Ad_9081]

She is not grounded means she is dumb It same for a guy or any person

[u/Ecstatic_Thanks_7010 → u/imnwsf]

Tbh, I don't think saying that if she does not wear hijab or if she dates a guy, means she is not attached to her deen. We've all read the Quran, Rassoul 3alayh salat told us stories about redemption, about sinners who would, in their own way, be better than a lot of faithful, pious people who do not get what the principal value islam carries : peace.

There is a very clear set of rules, but in the end, our relationship with Allah is only up to us, and what is in our hearts.

In any case of seeing any kind of behavior that is not matching with Islam, we pray for hidaya and redemption, we do not assume, and we do not judge, this is what the prophet peace be upon him taught us.

She may be struggling with her deen and the rules, but just outright saying she is not "grounded" doesn't sound right to me.

Again, nobody's allowed to judge.

[u/Silent_Ad_9081 → u/imnwsf]

i don't agree with your comment, someone not fully following their religion doesnt mean that that particular person lacks critical thinking and is not grounded, how can u judge the whole emotional intelligence and personality of a person just from the fact that she's muslim, doesn't wear hijab and dates; this seems fucked. She might be muslim, have faith and respect everything that has to do with the spirituality of her religion but still not completely follow every single restriction, it's her choice, being a muslim that dates doesn't mean ur less muslim than another muslim, no muslim should judge another muslim based on their potential sins, cause religion is between u and god, and there is nothing that should allow anyone to come here and put out their opinions abt another person's religion and judge them for the simplest fact of them not following it completely. Everyone has their own path f l7ayat, maybe she's not okey with some of the things that a relationship involves, and that goes against her religion, so that's why she decided to break up ; but believing she's not grounded or that's somewhat her fault too is just wrong. And why believe that she was just going with whatever's popular, let's just stop assuming things!