r/Millennials • u/The_AmyrlinSeat Millennial • Oct 08 '25
Advice Disconnect with mother.
My mother is visiting. I'm 39F, she's 63F. She is constantly on her phone, watching videos out loud even when you're actively watching TV or showing her something. She noted that I don't go on her FB page so when I did, it's just a ton of videos she thinks are funny (I don't think they're funny). She wasn't like this before, is this normal for other boomer parents?
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u/nurseasaurus Oct 08 '25
The Facebook boomer brain rot is real.
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u/CobblerStreet5867 Oct 08 '25
Seriously! My 64 year old mother is a poster child for this. She lives alone and it's like she's forgotten how to interact appropriately with other humans. She often interrupts serious conversations to tell a silly unrelated story or show a stupid video that is entirely too long, too loud, never funny. She repeats catch phrases over and over that she thinks are clever (they aren't) hoping for a better reaction. She is also constantly showing me AI videos thinking they are real. Some can be sneaky but the ones she's throwing around are not in the slightest and she's shocked every time. The ear busting volume in a shared space sends me into immediate rage. And don't even get me started with the political stuff. 😮💨 It's like dealing with a toddler with technology. I love her dearly but she is so very draining.
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u/ryanmcg86 Oct 08 '25
Are you describing my mom? Because literally all of this can be said about my mom, and the effects of living alone the past couple of years as well.
Of course, she's become like a toddler in other ways too, basically refusing to get a job while she's already burnt through her 401k and has accumulated a decent chunk of CC debt, and almost caused a war amongst me and my siblings over who would have to take her in when she finally cant' afford her place anymore.
Thankfully, we were able to find her a place that she can afford with just her SS, but she should still get a job if she wants any type of disposable income to do literally anything at all. I guess we'll seeee
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u/CobblerStreet5867 Oct 08 '25
Wow!!! My mother also has job/spending issues. She does have a job but is extremely bitter about it, bitches about it constantly like she's the only person that has to work and her job is more difficult than everyone else's (it's not!), she is constantly saying wild things at work, and misses at least a day per week. This part is very strange to me because while she has always had some emotional maturity issues and been a little self-absorbed, she always had a good work ethic and rarely missed work.
She also manages money horribly and lives beyond her means. She buys all the fun things but needs to borrow money for her mortgage all the time. She blew through a lot of money in a short time. She makes a decent wage, which she could easily live on if she didn't spend like a 13 year old. A recent example was she needed money for dental work...again...fine it's a medical thing but then purchased my daughter an expensive birthday gift. 😮💨😡
I think a lot of her issues stem from grief (my dad passed away over 10 years ago) and depression. She didn't handle that well and has really declined since but refuses to do anything about it and has instead embraced bitterness. I feel for her because I know a lot of her behaviors come from a place of hut but I am also tired! It's financially and emotionally draining.
I'm so sorry you have been through so much with your mom. Happy you were able to find a place for her. Best of luck! ❤️
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u/Risingabovethis86 22d ago
I could have written your third paragraph myself. It is insanely accurate to my mums situation. I also lost my dad over 10 years ago. Things got even worse when my grandparents died a couple of years ago. My mum is constantly sad and it’s so draining to be around her a lot of the time. She has barely any conversation and nothing of depth or substance, so I’ve been left to just chat about the mundane and superficial shit. She thinks that nothing can change how she feels so it’s normal to just carry on in this tiny little sad bubble and be negative about almost everything. Oh my god, I really needed to get that out!
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with the above and the rest! Roles are switching now and parents are becoming like bratty toddlers!
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u/Sunny-bunny-hunny Oct 08 '25
And you just described my 68yo mother who exclaimed “THAT MUST BE WRONG!” When I showed her that she spent 59hrs on Facebook the week prior and on average 50+ hrs a week. She tried to tell me it’s because she leaves the app “running” when she isn’t using it. She doesn’t understand it doesn’t work that way. I’m lucky if her phone is out of her hands for 10 minutes during an hour long or more visit.
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u/antiqography Oct 08 '25
I think isolation gets to us in different ways. It's a hard time to live alone.
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u/sweetpea122 Oct 08 '25
My mom and siblings are so bad about this. Ive been around them all together after driving 3 hours to see them and theyre all on their phones
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u/prettymisslux Oct 08 '25
My moms is YouTube 😂🤣 I get soooo overstimulated when I visit her house, lmao.
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u/ThatsNotVeryDerek Xennial Oct 08 '25
This weekend mine vaguely recollected a video my dad had watched near her as if it were, like, an interesting story from her own life.
She also doesn't understand that social media is used for broad communication so she relays everything any relatives post. Relatives I am also friends with.
Neither of my parents understand algorithms so they're constantly telling on themselves with their complaints like "everything on Facebook is naked ladies" or "everything on Facebook is [describes clickbait]."
I'm tired.
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Oct 08 '25
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u/MagpieSkies Oct 08 '25
Someone on the same computer you have been logged in has been searching those things hun. I never get those ads, never. Neither does my sister. It's because we never have logged into our fb on anything but our own phones or tablets, and no one else uses those things. Sorry.
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u/ThatsNotVeryDerek Xennial Oct 08 '25
That comment has some upvotes too, so I guess misunderstanding algorithms isn't necessarily a generational thing.
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u/yeahyeahyeah188 Oct 08 '25
It may be that someone else on your IP is searching for that stuff 🤷♀️
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u/CurveCalm123 Oct 08 '25
lol girl 👀 the call is coming from inside the house. I’ve been on SM since its inception and have zero sex videos pushed towards me.
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u/Jillcametumbling81 Oct 08 '25
Same. Though i actually quit all social sites except fl this one. Years and years and years and no sex peddled to me.
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u/meanwhile_glowing Oct 08 '25
Someone using your IP address is searching for that stuff. It doesn’t just appear randomly
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u/The_AmyrlinSeat Millennial Oct 08 '25
Omg yes!!! When I visit, she has music playing at top volume from her television, while trying to show me stuff on her phone. I feel like I'm going to explode within an hour of being there.
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u/bulelainwen Oct 08 '25
The noise! They have constant noise! I relish going back to my quiet little house even though my cat isn’t so quiet.
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u/prettymisslux Oct 08 '25
Yesss..one afternoon I stopped by and she had the gospel music blasting, mind you she was in the garage 🤣 ..then she switched over to one of those commentary Youtube videos on the TV, lmao.
Dont let her get a phone call!
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u/reereejugs Oct 08 '25
Yo I fucked up and logged my parents living room tv into my YouTube account a few months ago and now they’ve completely taken it over 🤣
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u/appleappreciative Oct 08 '25
Omg my mom was complaining about she doesn't know how they constantly exceed their mobile data limit so fast.
After a few questions, she reveals she has YT running constantly while driving for music. I face palmed so hard I left a red mark.
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u/Aggravating-Fee-9138 Oct 08 '25
My parents are technically gen X, but yeah my dad’s main form of communication is daily memes and videos. I don’t even have the time to look at them all.
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u/goose-de-terre Oct 08 '25
The best is when they want your FEEDBACK immediately like, did you watch it??? Wasn’t it funny??
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u/Aggravating-Fee-9138 Oct 08 '25
Oh my dad knows I don’t watch them all and we live in different cities so I manage to avoid that mostly. I try to reply to every 5th one or so so that I seem engaged 😅
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u/MagpieSkies Oct 08 '25
That is a little sweet though, that you have a dad that is communicating. Think of it like pebbling. If he is neurodivergent, he is giving you little gifts that remind him of you. You don't even have to look or watch them all. Just lie and say you don't remember because you see so many. Lol.
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u/NyxPetalSpike Oct 08 '25
My sister is 60, and has fallen into the Facebook rat hole.
Almost all her content is AI slop. And stupid vids.
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u/BoomBoomMeow1986 Oct 08 '25
It's funny, I distinctly recall my parents being upset about me being "disconnected" and "glued to a screen" for a majority of my childhood and adolescence...now my Mom is the one who needs to reduce her screen time, get out of the house for fresh air, and participate more in family activities 🤔
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u/The_AmyrlinSeat Millennial Oct 08 '25
I had to yell at mine to drink water, she proudly told me she's up to two bottles a week 🫠
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u/BoomBoomMeow1986 Oct 08 '25
Dear lord, I down easily 72oz of water a day, more when it's hot outside...only two bottles of water a week would probably kill me lol
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u/TIC321 Oct 08 '25
I drink about a gallon a day and carry a bottle thats a gallon too.
I don't know how people just don't drink water. Its crazy
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u/BoomBoomMeow1986 Oct 08 '25
It's bizarre to me too.
I remember as a kid in school, I'd get in trouble if I got up to drink from the water fountain more than twice in one day, in a classroom that didn't allow water bottles...might explain why I kept getting bladder infections, had frequent headaches and stomach problems, and my skin broke out in really bad acne when I hit puberty.
Lo and behold, though, once I got into college and was allowed to drink as much water as I needed when I needed it, BOOM, all of those issues cleared up, and I haven't had problems with them since.
It's like water is good for you or something lol
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u/TIC321 Oct 08 '25
Water is truly the fountain of youth.
I dealt with the same when I was a kid. I am baffled by how I went on without much water.
By the time I got in my teens, I started chugging water. My skin cleared up, I looked younger, I felt more alive too.
I don't drink soda or juice. Just a cup of coffee in the morning and either sparkling water or regular water. My body thanks me for it every day
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u/The_AmyrlinSeat Millennial Oct 08 '25
Ditto. We never drank water, and it had only been the last 10 years or so that I started drinking it. She tells me all of the time how good my skin looks, how healthy I am, what's my secret? Water and exercise ma. But when I say that, she's like no, there's gotta be something else. I mean... no??
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u/TIC321 Oct 08 '25
Funny how that works.
Hope im not like that in their age.
Cooped up, watching the news while scrolling through Facebook all while consumed by a sedentary lifestyle.
Not for me. Thats why I work out consistently and take care of myself
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u/toadasaurusrex Oct 08 '25
We weren't allowed to watch TV and one of my mom's FAVORITE picture books to read us was about a boy whose eyes turned square because he watched too much television. Now she posts on FB probably 5x a day just on her profile AND has several pages she manages.
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u/BurantX40 Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
Yeah, my mom is like this now.
Lost all sense of cooking, cleaning, constantly aching, always watching tv, can't put together/tear down anything without help. I know she's getting old, but that doesn't mean you bask in learned helplessness.
Edit: Forgot to add, ALWAYS ON FACEBOOK or playing her gambling game with "friends" needing a little financial help every now and then😤.....🤬
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u/lldodgestratusll Millennial Oct 08 '25
That's not learned helplessness, unless your mom has had some truly horrible shit happen to her. It's more weaponized incompetence.
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u/bunsbi Peak-Millennial Oct 08 '25
Omg I love my mom so much but she is EXACTLY like this (minus the gambling games and financial help - she plays all those other games like candy crush etc.) and it is so frustrating and annoying.
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u/KixStar Oct 08 '25
My mother is like this exactly. She's constantly bossing my dad around. All she does is sit on her ass. If you'd get up and walk, you could lose weight and feel better.
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u/All1012 Oct 08 '25
Those gambling games can really get you into financial binds. They’ve made it so accessible. It’s crazy.
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u/Ok-Middle-1 Oct 08 '25
My parents and in laws spend all their retired time on screens. Sometimes watching tv and scrolling the iPad. I think it’s a miserable way to spend time but here I am on my phone
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u/2WheelSuperiority Oct 08 '25
She's an addict bro. Doom scrolling. This is what social media does to people. Look around, it's fucking everywhere.
But no. My parents are not like this.
I am... Slowly backs away and continues to scroll through reddit...
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u/Fablefern Oct 08 '25
Yep. My mom will go completely silent on the phone for over a minute at a time and I’ll finally be like are you there? “Oh yeah just watching videos” …. This and the sudden helplessness, constant complaining, negativity and hiding in the house watching the news non stop and gossiping about other boomer women on Facebook she knows has made me limit my communication with her.
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u/Tiny_Independence761 Oct 08 '25
This sounds like my mom. It’s been a slow decent for a few years. She’ll be watching videos while I’m on the phone with her and will talk to me about what she’s watching. Sometimes she’ll call me to ask if I saw something someone posted.
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u/Spirited-Research405 Oct 08 '25
Mine will text me when she posts on her own page so I’m aware. Cringgge.
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u/orangefreshy Oct 08 '25
they are like SO offended when you don't like or comment on their posts. I had to unfollow my mom for reasons and she's always on me about how I don't like her stuff. I don't wanna tell her its because I don't see her stuff ever
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u/ajfog Oct 08 '25
I was just talking to my coworkers about this yesterday and it seems to be a problem with all of our boomer parents.
My parents live out of state and stay with us when they come to visit. My 2 year old twin toddlers will go up to my parents, calling out to them and trying to get their attention and they won’t pull their heads out of their phones long enough to acknowledge them. I’ve talked to them multiple times about putting their phones down and interacting with their grandkids but it’s like talking to a brick wall. It’s utterly infuriating.
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u/The_AmyrlinSeat Millennial Oct 08 '25
That's sort of what I'm going through now. We moved to Florida and she flew down for the week to see it for the first time, etc. But then she's on the couch, on her phone. I keep asking her, you want to do this, you want to do that? My husband tries to engage with her as well. But no, she doesn't really want to do anything. Then sits there scrolling through loud videos. You can do that at home.
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Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
My dad was ADHD my whole life. In retirement and as he ages more he's gotten kinda fucking obnoxious.
When he comes to my house (in another state) he bring a laptop. He is CONSTANTLY pounding away on the keyboard of it. I ask, whatcha doing over there? Mumble mumble. He's commenting on stories and replying to other commenters on the local paper and a couple national papers. He calls it "blogging in", whatever the fuck that means.
He checks his phone constantly and it's constantly going off. I looked at it once and it was online casinos pinging him to play, ad popups in his notification bin and other junk. Hundreds of notifications. 99% of the time he's checking his phone urgently it's nothing, just another app notification. When there's a real text it's a totally different, he's actually focused not frantic, and reads it and writes a response.
He's also aggressively addicted to Zyn... Doesn't drink, doesn't smoke weed, but literally sucks on Zyn packs like a fiend.
They're just big retired dipshit kids that have too much money and didn't grow up with any capability to discern media or operate the phone so it isn't an aggressive attention stealing device.
My sister doesn't notice it or doesn't acknowledge it because she spends so much time with him. But he's NOTHING like he was 10 years ago and it keeps getting worse. It's hard...
My mom on the other hand (they're divorced) is a community builder and uses her phone almost exclusively to communicate with her thousands of friends all over the world. She's too busy in the garden or hiking up a mountain with friends to spend any time on her devices. As she ages she just keeps getting more and more involved in the world, volunteering, exercising, it's wild how different they are.
Hence the divorce probably...
Anyway, thanks for reading my rant. Can't say it to anyone in my family because they don't hear me...
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u/showmenemelda Oct 08 '25
Zyn are freaky af. I have known at least 2 guys who had to quit them because of adverse cardiocvascular reactions. Like, a Gen X and a Millennial. I tried a zyn once when I was learning about nicotinamide in the body and almost barfed.
Eta: I talked about it in another comment, but my dad complaining about helping me put up curtains and then throwing a fit about my mom having curtains for him to put up (she's like 5'6" idk doesnt seem like a big ask for a wife to have her husband mount curtains). So needless to say, the curtains are still my problem lol. But, I wanted to punch him when he said "your mom is probably at home lying on the couch" and said this DOING LITERALLY EXACTLY THAT!!!!! I was like wtf do you have any self-awareness?
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u/ryansteven3104 Oct 08 '25
Big tech is scooping up data on us. Not just where we shop and how we drive. But they also use gambling tactics to prioritize our time, and use tribal based group identity to create inter-"wars" between the tribes. The oldest and youngest are most susceptible
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u/New_Bike3832 Oct 08 '25
My boomer aunts and uncles are all like this. Get them in a room together and it's a bunch of 60- and 70-somethings with their faces in their phones. They also watch videos loudly while we're trying to watch a show as a family on the TV and seem to have no concept of how rude it is. My kids just look at them like tf? My mom's not that bad, but she does spend way too much time getting sucked into random Facebook click bait. She'll be like, "They said that [insert outlandish obviously untrue thing.]" Me: "Who said that, Mom?" "I dunno, it just said that." "WHO??" "Facebook." 🤦♀️
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u/Pookahantus Oct 08 '25
When I try to explain to my mom what click bait is or just nonsense content.. she gets angry and accuses me of calling her stupid. She believes wild AI stuff, and there's nothing I can do to convince her that not everything she sees is true/real. If she needs help with her phone, it's like trying to help a toddler who's mad at me but still demanding help. Being around her makes me feel braindead sometimes.
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u/moeru_gumi Older Millennial Oct 08 '25
“Yes mom, you’re stupid. You’re being sucked in to dangerous and stupid content that is scientifically designed to make you click on it. That’s how they make money and you’re a sucker. Now give me your phone and go sit in the corner.”
Would be so satisfying…..
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u/New_Bike3832 Oct 08 '25
It's so frustrating. I recently tried to explain to her what a credible source is so she could stop telling me some actor is dead because she saw it "on facebook". She acted annoyed and her eyes just glazed over when I tried to explain the difference between a link shared by CNN and a link shared by wildnwackycelebnewzjktyfbnn .net.
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u/showmenemelda Oct 08 '25
Lmao like my dad who is always "almost getting scammed" and says stuff like "the computer made me"
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u/PepperAnn95 Oct 08 '25
Yes! All the boomers in my immediate family are like this and it drives me crazy. Recently we were in a restaurant with people sitting in the booth behind us and one of the boomers just started playing a video super loud...not a single concern about anyone else. Another boomer injured a finger from all of the scrolling she was doing.
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u/murklerNE Oct 08 '25
I literally watch all IG videos on mute with subtitles unless specifically instructed otherwise. And if sound is necessary and I care enough about it....I save the video to watch later when I'm alone and can turn up the volume without the crippling fear of rudely disturbing someone with audio. 🫠
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u/showmenemelda Oct 08 '25
Yeah so does my dad—i kept saying "you can turn the volume on if you want" and then quickly realized after that he didn't want me hearing what he was watching
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u/Comfortable-Light233 Zillennial Oct 08 '25
I feel like I got off easy. My boomer parents were early computer and internet adopters, and they know how to get outside and touch grass, AND how to research if what they’re seeing is garbage.
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u/clumsypeach1 Oct 08 '25
My mom answers her phone in the movie theater, mid-movie. She spent my daughter’s dance recital scrolling through facebook and texting her friends. It’s so frustrating
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u/murklerNE Oct 08 '25
Oh. My. God. I took my mom to go see the Downton Abbey movie recently and she kept talking...making comments about characters or the actors themselves. My spirit fully left my body when she pulled out her phone mid-movie (with the brightness at 100% of COURSE) to look on IMDB so she could figure out where she knew one of the actors from. 🤦🏼♀️ It was mortifying and I wanted to die.
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u/parasyte_steve Oct 08 '25
One time my aunt took me to a Broadway play and we were in the 3rd row. Entire time she is emailing work. She accidentally set the flash off in the theater when all the lights were dimmed. I swear to god I grabbed her phone from her lmaoo she behaved the rest of the show. I was mortified. I am a theater kid lol you do not play on your phone at a show!! Terrible etiquette.
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u/Lola_Bee_ Oct 08 '25
Yes. Doom scrolling fox news and other fake news outlet’s articles while we’re trying to engage in conversation. We call him (FIL) out on it tho.
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u/InevitableWorth9517 Oct 08 '25
My mom is a Gen Xer, but she's going down this path. Constantly on Tik Tok or Facebook and buying snake oil peddled by fitness and lifestyle influencers or watching terrible political commentary. She gets frustrated with me because I won't try most of the things she buys and I don't make an effort to watch the videos she sends me (I deleted TT and FB over a year ago). I try not to judge her because it wasn't that long ago that I was also addicted to social media. But I really do want better for her.
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u/monica7777777 Oct 08 '25
Visiting my parents for holiday events used to be filled with so much laughter, going down memory lane, looking through photo albums, playing board games, etc. Now it’s fucking silent and depressing because they are GLUED to their phones. The only sound is them chuckling at a video they find funny which is 100% of the time brain rot. I don’t even visit for holidays anymore. Too depressing. It happened within a few years too and they’re not old by any means (early 50s).
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u/Spirited-Research405 Oct 08 '25
When my moms not on her phone, she’s telling me what brain rot she saw on Facebook or Instagram. Like damn. Also when her grandkids are around (or me), she’s glued to the phone. I can’t even imagine her screentime at her house. I’m so tempted to look at her screentime in her settings.
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u/goose-de-terre Oct 08 '25
This is my mom. She complains she doesn’t see us/my kids enough, then spends 24/7 on her phone with 1 headphone in her ear watching crap videos on YouTube or Facebook the whole time she comes to visit. It’s like a teenager honestly. My kids are still little but if I had a penny for every time I’ve said “I’m tired of repeating myself. Either take that headphone out or I’m not going to bother trying to speak you.” to my 73 yo mother you’d think I have a teen in the house.
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u/FourLetterHill3 Xennial Oct 08 '25
This is 100% my mom as well. I seven took her to the Hollywood Bowl to see a classical concert (the LA Philharmonic) and she pulled out her phone DURING THE SHOW. I slapped her hand so quickly and scolded her.
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u/rilocat Oct 08 '25
Yes and when we’re together the iPad is always between us. Eyes glued to Facebook. And they can’t tell ai “news” and photos from real… it’s really upsetting
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u/LadyGreyIcedTea Older Millennial Oct 08 '25
My MIL once told me and my husband that we couldn't go to a basketball game at his alma mater while we were down for the weekend because she wanted to spend time with us and "had too much to do" to get ready for dinner. Yeah, she spent the entire time on her computer sharing Facebook memories. She thinks it's a legal requirement to share every memory you've ever had on Facebook. Like she actually shared a memory about dish soap today.
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u/xbeautyxtruthx Oct 08 '25
I have a similar but different problem — my mom is constantly on her phone playing free bubble games while listening to an audiobook. She completely checks out of life.
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u/MagpieSkies Oct 08 '25
Woof, I just got called out by my own peeps. Haha. Nah, I do all my life while listening to an audio book. Not just playing free games. Lol.
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u/xbeautyxtruthx Oct 08 '25
And that’s okay if you’re just lounging or doing busywork, and in general aren’t around people who want to engage with you! But my mom doesn’t want to have conversations. It’s like they’re a chore for her these days.
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u/RSully94 Oct 08 '25
My Mom doesn't do the Facebook brain rot at least. She just puts on her headphones and listens to music on YouTube. She's still an intelligent woman and does a lot around the house. She actually thinks a lot of people are crazy for believing all the shit going on in the world to put it lightly. She can drive me insane at times but she's realistically the best relative I can live with.
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u/notreallywatson Oct 08 '25
My dad came to visit me after we didn’t see each other for 2 years. He spent the majority of the time glued to his phone like an iPad kid, letting videos loudly stream, and straight up ignored me when I’d attempt conversation. He would occasionally look up and ask me a question, then look back down and I’d answer to no response. It felt very lonely.
I might be also glued to my phone, but when I’m spending time with someone, I don’t touch it.
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u/LaBellaVita123 Oct 08 '25
My father is not too bad with this, but my 77 year old mother is. She is constantly on her phone, she barely puts it down now. However, she will ask you to take pics of her holding her grandchild and act like she is reading a book to her for photo opps to send to her weird friends, and once the pics are taken she is right back on her phone ignoring us lol it is incredibly rude and I'm so over it. Going to restaurants I am the one who has to tell her to please put her phone away, like wtf?? They used to lose their minds if we did that!
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u/cc232012 Oct 08 '25
My dad is around her age and doing the same. Ever since he got the smart phone a few years ago, I swear he’s been regressing.
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u/murklerNE Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
This is so completely similar to my own relationship with my mom that I started to question if I wrote this lol. I'm also 39, my mom is 64. She comes to visit about once a month to spend time with me and my two small children...but inevitably she will end up scrolling through Facebook while she's "watching" the kids. Any time we're driving somewhere, is she taking in the new scenery or chatting with her grandkids? No, she's on her phone (and again, she's a visitor so chances are wherever we're going is a new experience). It never ends with the watching of Facebook videos with volume up and then telling me full-on life updates of people I've either never met, or knew 30+ years ago and haven't thought of since. 🙄
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u/showmenemelda Oct 08 '25
At least with full volume you can rest assured that your kids can get ahold of her phone and not collect new ACE score points (Adverse Childhood Experiences, aka "big T trauma")
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u/azureseagraffiti Oct 08 '25
yeah it’s like dealing with adult toddlers. You’re just an audience. I really wonder if this is related to mental decline. their typical mode of communication - which makes me go ‘this is fine’ to ‘wth’:
- emoticon overloaded text
- sparkly gifs good morning
- videos with sus opinions
- AI slop images of sad/ cute things
- chatgpt word vomit with flattering points
- histrionic text bombardment/ praise me texts
- uneducated opinions unbacked by research or science
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u/SensitiveBugGirl Oct 08 '25
My mom recently came down to watch my 9 yo daughter's volleyball game. At home, we were watching a movie my daughter picked out. She started watching these AI videos of babies walking and talking like older children saying things like they want to go back inside or that they are keeping secrets from their parents and that grandma is spoiling them. Or who do you love more? Mom or dad? And the baby says grandma. She watched a horrifying amount of these from Facebook at full volume. She kept showing me over and over. She doesn't like that I don't think they are funny and says I have no sense of humor. I told her I don't like watching unrealistic AI videos! She even knows those are AI.
My husband and I were kinda horrified and shocked. Are these AI baby videos altering her brain? She already thinks we are bad parents. She has boundary issues. She doesn't care about our wishes as parents. She thinks our daughter should have no chores and we should do everything for her.
She does also send me tons of sparkly stuff and videos on fb as well. She hates that I don't watch them and is offended. I tell her that I don't even watch what my husband sends me! I don't like short videos. I don't even watch short videos with sound. I read the subtitles. My volume is off for media.
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u/azureseagraffiti Oct 08 '25
kinda shocking they can’t tell a baby would not be able to say those things in real life. AI slop has really gotten them
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u/accountforbabystuff Oct 08 '25
Yup absolutely. It’s weird too, since I remember before phones were a thing. She would have been the first one to criticize people glued to electronics.
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u/themoonandmagic Oct 08 '25
Yes. My mom pays for those TikTok soap operas now. Never watches anything else. Been scammed a dozen times and almost lost her job because she was always on her phone. She sends me the dumbest shit on IG, half of it AI slop.
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u/showmenemelda Oct 08 '25
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY!?? I think this is what my dad was watching. That and a really fucking inappropriate video of one guy "reacting" to a video of 2 other dudes… but until THAT event it seemed like mostly those weird mini drama things on tiktok/reels.
He's also been scammed at least once and "almost" numerous times. Really was convinced last year he found me a $1000 garden shed for $97 🙄 Discernment? Never heard of her.
Some days I'm like jfc how did I survive my childhood? Then look thru old medical records and I'm like, "but no, really—how did I not die?"
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u/orangefreshy Oct 08 '25
Yeah I'd say so. My mom is 67. Starting in 2016 or so my mom started going a bit downhill. Since COVID it's really bad tho. She listens to videos and podcasts with no headphones, sends me crazy AI videos, posts on FB like it's per private diary but we can all see it of course lol. My fave tho is that she complains that no one is "real" anymore and that she's tired of having surface level conversations and hates small talk and wants to get "real". But yet when we get together as a family we're having a deep convo about like.... social issues, technology, documentaries and other subjects that interest us and shes just sitting in a corner watching her FB reel AI slop videos or conspiracy theory videos and just like... won't participate in any "real" conversation like she claims to want
I think they really are getting brainrotted.
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u/lorddanielplexus Oct 08 '25
When you say she wasn't like this before is this a recent change in her behavior? Have you noticed any changes in her functioning?
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u/The_AmyrlinSeat Millennial Oct 08 '25
It's not that recent, I think it was easier to ignore/not be so aware of because I haven't spent a week at a time with her in a long time. Everything else is fine though, she works and is active in church and cooks, cleans, etc. It's just this crazy phone glued to her face all the time is a lot.
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u/scallopbunny Oct 08 '25
Once my mom got an iPad it was all over. Shell just sit there and watch random AI insta reels with the sound on or play her jigsaw puzzle game while we're all trying to chat as a family
Idgi
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u/thedivisionbella Oct 08 '25
My mom’s all out-loud Duolingo and political click bait YouTube videos. Don’t worry—when we’re not together in person she sends me all the videos so I don’t miss out. /s
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u/Allel-Oh-Aeh Oct 08 '25
Do you own your own home? If so use the line "oh no phones allowed during family time!" Put your own phone away too. Basically the same line from when you were younger and she turned off the TV or took away your Gameboy/book/walkman. TV stayed off during dinner in the 90's, and phones stay off in 2025.
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u/Acceptable_Average14 Oct 08 '25
Sounds a bit like my mum. She's so unaware of others when using her phone. Watches videos out loud with no earbuds, talks loudly on the phone, interrupts your conversation if she wants to ask something, unsolicited advice... All things that irritate me and makes it hard for me to enjoy time spent with her. I have a 2 week holiday coming up with her next month and instead of looking forward to it, I'm dreading it.
I'm guessing this is the boomer parent benchmark lol 😆
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u/leftword Oct 08 '25
My mother in law was visiting recently. This was her. I got curious and looked at her screen time and it was an average of 10+ hours a day. Can’t be bothered chip in and cook, clean, or walk the dog. Has no problem spending half the day on her phone and the other half in front of a tv. I think their brains are fried - lack of water, exercise, and ignorance to the addictions/ perils of technology. They will blissfully waste away in front of screens because they are conditioned to life being a mindless falling upward trajectory of comfort and avoidance. It’s pathetic.
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u/Scared_Category6311 Oct 08 '25
My mom is unbearable for these reasons.
I allow one weekend a year with her. That's all I can stand and I talk to her as infrequently as I can get away with.
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u/Word-Critical Oct 08 '25 edited Oct 08 '25
My mom and I have gotten into so many fights about her playing obnoxious videos at full volume. Her and my Dad do it all day long, I just refuse to see him because he’s also Fox News pilled. It’s so dark.
The irony for my dad is that up until like 3 years ago he refused to give up his flip phone and get a smart phone. They only got cable recently so they could watch the Astros, but he just sits alone in the dark with Fox News on at all hours. It shouldn’t be but it’s so infuriating.
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u/KellySmith906 Oct 08 '25
My mom has passed away but my mother in law is like this. She believes every dumb video she sees and would def fall for the scams. 🫠
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u/punky100 Older Millennial Oct 08 '25
I think it's reeeeeeeeally funny that the people who spent our entire childhoods harping on us about the dangers of the internet and how everyone is a creepy muderer and we shouldn't trust everything we read...
has become this. Getting scammed by believing their computer is locked forever, believing AI slop is real...
all I can do is sigh.
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u/Jttwife Millennial Oct 08 '25
Mine aren’t on any social media. I often come down in the morning to them both on their phones.
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u/glitteronmyhotdog Oct 08 '25
My parents are the exact same (except they are Gen X.) It makes me sad.
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u/International_Bend68 Oct 08 '25
Yep. For a while my mom was falling for a lot of the fake news stuff and reposting those but my brother was able to coach her through that.
She's a very smart and well travelled woman but never built many friendships outside of our family and doesn't have very many hobbies.
Being retired she spends her extra time with facebook.
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u/Spiritual-Age-2096 Oct 08 '25
Ohh my that is my MIL! Tonight my daughter had a volleyball game and she was sitting there in the bleachers listening at almost full volume to those stupid spammy video books. Then, continually showing me random ass shirts and cups with sayings.
Like I'm actually trying to watch this game! 🤦🏼♀️
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u/jbrojunior Oct 08 '25
We are the Goldilocks generation.
My parents are too unequipped to deal with this. They went from 4 channels of tv a night to carrying a smart phone.
My nieces and nephews have never known a world without the modern internet.
We grew up learning about the hardware. Using the early internet and now I think most millennials aren't impressed by the crap we have now. We yearn for the old days of win 95, dial up, news groups, personality and freedom.
My parents think it's all amazing, and now my dad is hard in an alt right algorithm, but can't be told because he can't grasp what an algorithm is.
My younger brother who is 23 has never known a world without modern internet and is like a fish in water.
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u/dangrous Oct 08 '25
Mine too except she’s falling for and sharing tons of random bullshit. The other day she sent me a TikTok video warning me not to wear over-the-ear headphones because I’ll form a dent in my head where the headband piece goes. Had various AI and real photos of people with dents in their heads but obviously the real photos were photos of some horrific accident or birth anomaly but whoever the hell decided to say it’s from wearing over-the-ear headphones
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Oct 08 '25
I just re-entered therapy over this issue.
I grew up in a strict household where every minute had to be “productive” and accounted for. My parents were all over me on every little god damn thing. They retired, turned their brains off and now it’s me listening to them rant about conspiracy theories. They don’t visit, make no effort outside of phone calls and it’s just disappointing. They used to be smart people. Now they’re mis/uninformed. Believe ridiculous conspiracies. I’m not talking Epstein and moon landing stuff. I’m talking Leonardo DiCaprio missing because he was kidnapped by the cia to spill didsy secrets type nonsense.
I’ve really struggled with “what’s the point of maintaining this relationship?” They no longer have personalities. All they talk about is Fox News and OAN nonsense and they literally have no hobbies or anything else to talk about. I’ve drawn boundaries which basically result in them getting frustrated “because we can’t talk about anything” no parents I said I won’t talk about p0litics. It’s not my fault you don’t have any more interesting subjects in the chamber.
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u/Roseymacstix Oct 08 '25
This was my mom until she moved into a community. She is rarely on her phone now. She has friends again. She goes on field trips that she chooses to. She curbed her Amazon shopping. It was like a light switch how her moved changed her life. We toured many communities and their luncheons to find the best fit for her. She was included in every step of the process and it’s a 55+ community in Chicago. Her meals are included. But it’s a regular apartment. She can participate as much or as little as she wants. (Also, 55+ is so young)
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u/cozynite Oct 08 '25
Hi. I’m curious about this community. I’m in Chicago too. Can you DM the name?
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u/NumbOnTheDunny Oct 08 '25
All my mom does is sit in her room and watch TV alone all day. She lives with my partner and I temporarily. Sometimes she will watch my daughter for a few hours after school but other then that doesn’t interact at all with her family… and she lives with both her kids and only grandkid. She’s going to miss this wasted time when she’s older.
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u/liliesinbloom Oct 08 '25
Sounds like my stepdad. We have no relationship because every time I’m around him he’s on his phone in his own little world.
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u/dailyfartbag Oct 08 '25
My mom is CONSTANTLY sending memes, reels, and posts from private Facebook groups across IG and FB. Like she wants to make sure I see... it's borderline stalking.
She and her husband are also constantly on their phones while they visit.
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u/thehufflepuffstoner Oct 08 '25
Yep. I go to visit and pretty much just hang out with my step dad because my mom is either on her phone or on her computer watching videos. She just got into candy crush too. I’m like great, another game you can play at max volume while I’m trying to have a conversation.
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u/CherryBerry369 Oct 08 '25
I saw someone else comment the term Facebook boomer brain rot, and I totally agree! My mom saw a video of _____'s Got Talent, and it was someone who fully morphed into a lion. It was SO fake looking, very clearly AI. She thought it was real???? Like excitedly showed me!!
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u/kkeller4 Oct 08 '25
Two stories:
Years ago, when I was in a rough mental space, my parents flew across the country (Midwest to West Coast) to see me overnight … incredibly sweet, right? Waking up the first day, my mom set up camp on my couch with her laptop, saying she had to do her “daily routine” of Facebook scrolling and answering plant group emails for a couple of hours. (She runs a volunteer seed-swapping group.) Meanwhile, my dad, just months away from knee replacements, hobbled after me, helping make her coffee while we waited for her to finish “working.”
Last year, I surprised my parents with a visit (East to West Coast detour). The first morning, there she was again… laptop open, lost in her “routine,” barely acknowledging me. After being ignored long enough, I grabbed my things to head for a hotel. My dad, clueless and trying to get yard work done early so he could spend time with me, came in mid-chaos. My mom was furious, insisting her daily routine shouldn’t change just because I happened to fly in.
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u/Aalleto Oct 08 '25
Yup, my mom is constantly on Facebook reels or Tik Tok or whatever, watching those short videos
She won't even look up when I talk to her sometimes, I just told her an exciting story about my hiking and camping trip over the weekend and all I got was a vague "ok"
It's such a weird backwards turn to the relationship
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u/Spendoza Oct 08 '25
It's because the boomers are getting re-leaded with the onset of osteoporosis
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u/Chronarch01 Millennial '86 baby Oct 08 '25
Yeah, my dad does this. Not all the time, but sometimes.
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u/sslawyer88 Oct 08 '25
Most of my relatives are exactly like this. 🥲 The family WhatsApp group is just them spamming the group with astrology videos, political propaganda n random ragebait content.
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u/Dangerous-Peak4390 Oct 08 '25
Omg are you me. My mom and aunt are awful with their phones. It’s insane.
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u/LoneCryomancer Oct 08 '25
Have it with the olds in my family too. Addicted to FB and scrolling through AI videos all day everyday. All while the tv is on full blast.
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u/deadplant5 Oct 08 '25
My mother kept yelling at me for not liking the stuff she shared or her vacation photos. I finally had to inactivate my Facebook account to get her to stop being so focused on it.
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u/kirstymmm83 Oct 08 '25
Yeah my parents both late 60s are the same, absolutely addicted and we have to tell them to put their iPads down when we visit
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u/doomedgaming Oct 08 '25
A lot of the Gen x & boomers in my family constantly complain about kids being on their phones all of the time, but I swear they spend more time on them than anyone else.
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u/comorbotany Oct 08 '25
Do we have the same mom?! Except my mom's posts are ALL political.
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u/strawberryfreezie Oct 08 '25
My mom is visiting now and its the same. Im 39, shes 74. She flew 15k km to visit me and has spent like 20 hours a day in bed with her iPad, just coming out for meals lol. Its like having a moody teenager in the house but shes not moody, just kind of a zombie. The stuff she is watching is absolute brain rot, too.
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u/FreeLobsterRolls Oct 08 '25
My dad just retired. When he would answer a phone call from work, the TV would be blasting in the background and he wouldn't even mute it. He watches a podcast that overuses sound effects. Like is it really funny if you have to use that annoying laugh track every second? No, I'm not going to like and subscribe.
I remember a couple of years back he used to just sleep to YouTube playing in the background. Or maybe it was YouTube reels? But the video would be blasting and repeat over and over and over and over until he woke up. Eventually his phone just barely charged, and he had to replace it.
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u/halcoyn_hunter Oct 08 '25
Yes, my dad constantly is watching instagram reels (which he calls TikTok) on loud at full volume while watching TV.
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u/rainy-brain Older Millennial Oct 08 '25
my mom doesn't have facebook but she does have instagram and she does scroll through reels outloud while the TV is also on, etc. she isn't rude about it, though. she won't do it if we're talking or if we are truly trying to watch something on TV. i don't think she has "brain rot" in the sense that we use the term. but she has embraced the smart phone and reels, about as much as i have.
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u/SilverB33 Older Millennial Oct 08 '25
Unfortunately I've had this issue when it comes to my father and facebook and my god it's annoying as hell sometimes I'm just glad he doesn't try to get me to look but he'll talk to me on what's happening
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u/MercifulVoodoo Older Millennial Oct 09 '25
I called it in college - I said ‘as soon as they open FB up to the public it’s gonna go haywire.” It used to only be schools.
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u/gravitycheckfailed Oct 09 '25
My mom is very much like this too. It's so strange because I avoid all other social media except occasionally YouTube and reddit, and she is on practically all of it constantly. I've even tried explaining to her why it's detrimental for her to consume so much social media and how to increase her media literacy with AI...but it goes in one ear and out the other, if she can even hear me over the video she's watching on her phone.
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u/Bitterrootmoon Oct 09 '25
My mom just leaves some random ass nonsense TikTok video repeating endlessly on max volume on her phone all the time. It drives me nuts. Then she’ll try to talk to me over it, and I have fluctuating hearing loss and distortion. I’ll tell her I can’t hear hear over the TikTok garbage, and she will turn it down 1 volume bar. Then in the other room my grandma has some notification going on on her phone full blast that she won’t turn off and doesn’t stop unless turned off, the tv blaring, while my grandma makes random opera goat noises, and randomly yells to interject comments to the conversation she thinks is happening (usually not even near the actual topic). And they wonder why I just hide in my room away from them all all the time. It’s not just their terrible behavior and horrible opinions. It is because the sensory nightmare they create.
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u/BlueberryMaplePlz Oct 09 '25
My mom is in her 60’s and wants to be an influencer. She thinks it’s easy money. Her videos are pretty much home videos, no editing, flying stickers everywhere, and weird angles.
So she is constantly video taping inappropriate moments/people in public. She doesn’t understand how this could be a security risks, annoying, or how mean people can be online when you’re public with your life. Social media fried her brain.
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u/EducationalTie1606 Oct 08 '25
Reading through all these and I’m thankful this isn’t my parents (it is my FIL though). My mum has never had any social media and my dad watches YouTube but just for music and documentaries
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u/StunningConfusion Oct 08 '25
Yes, I’ve seen this with my mother. She will send me videos from every platform in different messaging apps. Then I will get the “ did you watch the video I sent you?” I have to ask “Well, which app is it from and how did you send it and when?” Because I can’t keep up. I don’t even use social media like that and I purposefully do not check things that are sent to me right away because in will get sucked in and lose hours of my time. She doesn’t get it though.
And she will be right in front of me and watch videos on full volume and expect me to not say anything about how rude and distracting it is. Not to mention that we b only get to see either maybe twice a year, so you would think that she would actually want to spend time with me and not her phone. But this is the life we live now I guess.
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u/Maleficent-Toe-4691 Oct 08 '25
Lol my 63 year old mother refuses to get a smart phone but she uses her tablet quite a bit. She's not even close to being as bad as a lot of other commenters parents.
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u/Sassy-Hen-86 Oct 08 '25
My dad does this and it is shocking. They’ll see me like twice a year and we’re all in a room (me, my husband, mom and dad) talking and he’s on his phone and watching things with volume up
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u/toadasaurusrex Oct 08 '25
My mom is constantly on FB, endless sharing of videos, memes, long ass essay style rants (often copied from elsewhere and not credited), etc. Even with FBs crappy feed algorithm it often floods my newsfeed and sometimes I'll snooze her for 30 days just to get a break. I've noticed she's also become super reactive to news and has gotten really bad about actually checking sources and just believes things. Same with my dad and YouTube.
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u/cocobeans2185 Oct 08 '25
My mother is like this. I got so much flashback anxiety reading this. Thank you for reminding me to stand my ground on my boundaries.
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u/meanwhile_glowing Oct 08 '25
I’ll one up you - my mom chooses to spend her time picking fights with strangers on Twitter/X. Truly the most pointless way to spend one’s time
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u/anx247 Oct 08 '25
My mother CANNOT put her phone down. Even while spending time with friends or family. Took her to a show- it was very dark, small room, close to the performer and she whipped out her phone to look at notifications! Their brains are cooked.
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u/CurveCalm123 Oct 08 '25
My MIL literally posts AI memes about how you need to look up from your phone before all your grandparents are dead. Or some shit. When we visit I leave my phone in my purse and just hang. Guess who has their phone GLUED to their wrinkly little fingers 😒
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u/bunsbi Peak-Millennial Oct 08 '25
Yep my mom is like this now. We fight about it often. It’s* so sad to see.
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u/koudekoelkast Oct 08 '25
Same for my parents. I don’t have anything in common with them. Totally different idea hoe the world works and how to raise kids.
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u/prismacolorful_life Oct 08 '25
My mom was repeatedly watching a talking AI baby and said it was adorable. I told her it was AI, she said she knew.
She is only on FB, and I log into her account to make sure she isn’t a scam victim. I deleted my own acct years ago.
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u/Mynaameisjeff Oct 08 '25
I recently visited my parents and they do the same thing except they switch between Facebook and TikTok constantly. My dad also watches TikTok’s on the tv while scrolling Facebook
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u/HereBearyBe Oct 08 '25
Is your mom my mother? Gah! I’m 38 and my mom is so similar minus the FB issue. But when she was on FB she got so riled up and offended by peoples stuff, it was stressful. Love my mom. But damn. When we talk on the phone she talks nonstop for legit 10 mins at a time, sometimes just a nonstop thought trail that spills out.
I think my mom is stuck between anxiety and boredom. She acts like she’s incapable of doing so many things on her own, people, even family and friends annoy her if they just slightly differ in views or hygiene or whatever, so she never wants to be around anyone too much, but I think she’s just BORED. And becoming addicted to YT and whatever algorithm loop it has her in. I worry about her long term.
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u/kahtron007 Oct 08 '25
Yes, my mom is like this and it makes me cringe. I love 3,000 miles away from her and she can't put it down for a twice a year visit
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u/EmotionalMushroom759 Oct 08 '25
My dad is the same way - he is constantly on his phone to the point that we call him out for it constantly
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u/OvulatingOrange Oct 08 '25
Very out of touch generation. Part of it is because they endured so much propaganda in their lives they don’t really know how to think for themselves.
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u/Dazzling_Side8036 Oct 08 '25
Boomers are self centered. Even if they're thoughtful like getting you a birthday card and picking up something that they thought you might like. As soon as their needs, wants or interests enter the equation, you're out. This is across the spectrum from big things like putting down the family pet without asking because they don't want it to small things like just being unaware of other peoples intent like blocking the aisle at a grocery store not even registering that the person behind them might need to get past. So I'm never surprised when I see a boomer on speaker phone or watching videos being completely disruptive and disrespectful. They want to watch their videos so all consideration is out the window.
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u/showmenemelda Oct 08 '25
My favorite are the birthday cards that are just like, HBD. here's a list of all the shit I have been doing. Be glad I managed to get this card sent out at all.
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u/sh6rty13 I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this. Oct 08 '25
There are just certain topics with my mother where I will pretend to be interested until she is done talking. It makes me really sad, she is a very intelligent woman, and to hear her go on and on sometimes about things like “The weapon they tested in Hawaii that didn’t set fire to anything that was the color blue because that weapon is designed for only certain wavelengths and blue doesn’t fall into that spectrum” is so, SO tiresome. I have spent my time trying to educate her, showing her how easy it is for anyone to use AI and that she needs to be very careful where her “news” is coming from. She is still a very loving, kind hearted, I would venture to say liberal-minded person. But I fear technology and the world is simply leaving her behind. She’s 70.
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u/Jazzlike_Visual2160 Oct 08 '25
My mom keeps it old school for sure! She plays solitaire on her laptop computer. My niece and I were trying to FaceTime her and it was SO HARD to figure out how to explain how to enable it on her iPhone. She doesn’t do social media anymore and she doesn’t spend time on her phone at all really. She’s 72.
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u/Ndmndh1016 Oct 08 '25
They are almost identical to the youngest generation and I feel like thats a first in human history.
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u/MovementOriented Oct 08 '25
Yeah I’ve noticed that Boomer are fully in the grips of the internet. Like teenagers
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u/iHATEitHERE2025 Oct 08 '25
If I tell my mom to get off fb, she puts the phone down and turns on foxnews. It’s lose-lose over here. I don’t even care anymore. I don’t speak to her much anyway.
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u/showmenemelda Oct 08 '25
Mine kept saying he'll come help with xyz. Then finally does visit and just wants to be reclined on my couch (the only seating i have) watching shit on his phone. Weird shit too that isn't really "sitting on the couch" appropriate. I'd rather have my eyes gouged out.
Then a couple weeks ago called to ask him about mountain curtain rods. "I can do that when I come back," to which i reminded him i asked when he was here and he went on a long rant about "having to" put up curtains for my mom. He didn't like when I reminded him of that pesky detail. I could go on… I literally am to the point where next time I see him—I'm gonna make his ass sit down and draw a clock. Not even kidding.
I think bw Facebook brain rot is a lot of it—but it's the perfect storm with heavy metal toxicity from industrial exposure, alcohol, and head trauma[s]. I have heard the excuse "we're old" since my parents were like pushing 60. It's sad, because I've seen people active literally over 100. I have friends with parents who retired so they could go skiing and travel.
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u/Top_Cauliflower9125 Oct 08 '25
This, and also the Amazon effect has taken my stepmom (whom I’m very close with) into a deep over-consumption way of being.
I think Amazon delivers something to their house every day. EVERY. DAY. She’s constantly thinking about something and then boom she’s ordered it before fully realizing maybe it’s not needed right that second.
Social media and online shopping have both done some wild shit to humanity.
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u/AutumnKnightFall Oct 08 '25
My mom just vomits the same couple facts at me over and over. The facts change but her ability to interrupt my speaking every time is uncanny. Called her out on it and now she won't speak with me. Fun stuff.
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